the pain just doesnt stop...

[ZombieSlayer]

Today on my way to the counsilors, it was me and my mom in the car. All i did was ask "so are you gonna look into it today?" (referring to online schooling) and she just starts yelling! she says shes tired of being rushed and all this other stuff, just completely freaking out. Then i told her to stop yelling because all i asked was a simple question and she contines to yell. i told her she must not care about me being bullied if shes not gonna do anything about it. so then shes going on and on how its my fault im getting bullied because i wore a shirt and tie to homecoming. I start crying and telling her she doesnt care about me and stuff. she said it doesnt matter if i do online schooling or not becuase im not gonna graduate anyway because i "dont care about anything"
and all this other stuff. then she went back to saying how its my fault im being bullied and all this other stuff. then i told her to just shut up and she starts yelling telling me to grow up and i told her shes the one that needs to grow up and stop running around like shes 16.
she told me she can do whatever she wants,...blah blah blah and then the yelling contined.... i told her i wished i would die and she said she wishes she would so she wouldnt have to deal with my bullshit.
then i told her i was just gonna kill myself to get it over with so she wouldnt have to deal with me and she said she was going to. then it was just yelling again and she heads towrds the parking lot of my counsilors and she said she isnt gonna take me and was gonna turn around so i flung the door open about ready to jump out of the moving car.
luckily she slammed on the breaks and i hopped out and headed towrds the door and cried for a half hour my counsililor. thats basicly what i did was cry. i dont feel a whole lot better tho.

[Pix]

I'm really sorry to hear how hard you're having it. :frown: Are there any centers you can go to for support?

One thing you might consider looking into though is unschooling, starting by getting the Teenage Liberation Handbook. Some libraries carry this book so you should be able to ILL (Inter Library Loan) it even if your own library doesn't have it (if you never heard of ILL then ask the reference librarian about it). Sometimes there's a charge for doing this but I've never heard of it being more than a dollar. I'm just making the suggestion so you can get a good idea what it offers (which includes a chapter on convincing parents to let you drop out of school while continuing your education) before deciding if you want to buy it. If you do decide to unschool then it would be a very good idea to have a copy of your own, though there should be enough resources and messageboards on the net to do without it if one must (and some famous unschoolers had their college degrees before the book even came out).

You might also consider getting your GED if you can. I don't know how old you have to be in your state but if you're old enough they have a prep course for it, and it's very easy IMO. (The way I recall it they even offer a practice test to see if you need any prep work done, which I personally didn't.)

[zeon]

hiya babes,
Dont let ya mum put you down like that... Remember what we chatted about your a star inside and to be honest fuck her with her attitude of you wont graduate because if my mum was like that i would make it my mission to graduate... Your mum needs to be more sensitive on things in life and not see it as one big competition to out do you on issues in life... If she didnt care about you deep down she wouldnt have slammed the brakes on and carried on letting you injure yourself... If you do decide to jump out of moving cars make sure your wearing jeans as they are very robust according to my bf who jumped out of one with his ex partner at 40 MPH!!!
You may take time to heal inside but outside theres someone whos got more to give than people realise and dont let people especially your mother bring you down... Inside you and everyone on the forum and the planet we have an inner self and times we put that in a cage which causes us to get depressed etc wanting to break free... Keep it out the cage and sdod the bullies... Bullies are cowards weak and not worth your time or the shit i tread through my office everyday to piss the cleaner off.. They are in secure in their life and have to pick faults in others they see as better than themselves... This was prooven fact with me.. I was bullied for 11 years through school and right upto the end i stood by my beleifs and now got to where i wanted to be where as them... TGhey are still smack heads in shitty places

You do get stronger in time trust me lil one

Kindest regards

zeon xx

[fenris]

I know ... its not easy to grow up.... parents, school, your own sexuality but I know very well that you can handle that. This time.. as bad as it is in time makes you strong for you life - believe me, I know what I talk about. Till 18 you have only 2 years ... a lot of time but so less if you see it with MY eyes :-)
Is there no possibility to get in contact with a gay or lesbian helpline ? We have it here at many universitys and bigger towns have sometime gay and lesbian youthgroups. That can help a lot that you dont feel so angry and alone ( you know..you are not alone ..you have found us here :-) )
Maybe it is possible to explain your mother your feelings ? Or maybe your mother can finde a helpline for parents... so she can talk to other parents and it helps here to know how you feel and what your problems and wishes are ?

[Rainbowmum]

Oh sweetie , I am so very sorry you are going through this .
You are a sweet young man , that any mother would be proud to have as her son, I know I would.

I have to say, that I think your mother is having a very hard time accepting you for who you are , perhaps she is that far in denial , that she may be thinking that this is just a phase.
As I dont know the woman it's all guess work from my end.

Please listen to me sweetie , no one and nothing is worth you taking your own life over.
I know right now, it may feel to you as a never ending pain , and that there is no light at the end of the tunnle , but there is sweetie , there is.

There is something you can do ,to make thing a bit better for yourself .
Never empower someone with the ability to upset you .
Say to your self: " I choose not to get upset today."
Take that power back and hold your head high.

Sweetie ,there are so very many situations in life that you will not have any control over , but you will always have control on how things effect you.

That is your power sweetie , do not let it go.

We are all here for you , and if you want to P.M me you can do that too.
sending you another big mom hug.

[Inchante]

Actually, it does stop. It may seem to go on for ever, but you have barely even experienced life yet. Remember that the world you are living in right now, the world of high school, and parents is just tiny. There is so much more out there bud, you'll get to enjoy it yet.

[posterpicture]

First, it 's never your fault for being bully. Bullying is never right and it 's never the victim's fault.
I found it sad how people love to blame on the victims. They blame woman who got raped for being too provoking. They blamed a gay guy who almost got killed in a hate crime for hitting on the attackers.
I don't really know what to tell you besides. It would get better. ( especially if you can study hard enough to get into college ).

[pellaz]

your getting close to the age you can drive? this should open up a lot of new things. priority is make it work for you.

parents... you cant choose them up front. sad because you share her life right now. look close at your mothers ways; does he treat everyone and everything the same way? chances are all this is not just about you.

its a decision; sometimes its good to show emotion and other times not. what ever happens look back and be able to say i made the decision because this or that.

[zeon]

hope ya feeling a bit better today szombie

kindest regards

zeon x

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Reading through your other posts I am going to suggest something that others may not suggest or even strongly oppose my suggesting in the first place.

Stop talking about your sexual orientation "stuff" with your mom. You are not going to win this argument with her, she is not going to change her mind.

Yes I know, it will be hard - very hard. However your mom is forcing you to be the bigger person, which means you will have to resort to being the adult in this relationship.

It means you are going to have to choose to not bring the subject up when ever possible, it also means that you are going to have to figure out 'neutral phrases' to say when the subject hits The Snag.

"I'm going to kill myself." is not a useful argument tool.

Those who take it seriously will have you committed, those who think you are just blowing hot air will turn it against you and hurt you more.

Once an argument starts, there is not real 'winning' in it. Neither party actually wins.

You will not win.

The best you can do is defuse the argument. http://www.google.com/webhp?hl=en#hl=en&...82&bih=661 gives a lot of sites that discuss this issue.

You will also have to learn how to argue using neutral statements/comments/questions.

That one is tricky (I admit it) different people react differently to 'emotionally neutral' phrases. You know your mom and you have some idea what sets her off and what doesn't.

In the case you outlined for this thread, you asked a simple question. SHE over reacted.

The better options would have been to sit there, letting her scream and rant. Nodding and making noised that were not so much in agreement, but signalling her that you are listening to her.

Constructive listening is an art form. It consists of nodding and making other signs that you are listening, and also requires you parroting back what the other is ranting on about once in a while, this way they know you are listening.

However what you parrot back has to be picked carefully. EXAMPLE if she says 'You are an idiot' parroting back 'you are an idiot' will NOT defuse the situation.

Instead of accusing 'You don't care about me' you could have asked nicely, 'When would be a good time to talk about this.'

Not only does this keep her back on track with the subject you want her to think about, it also tells her that yep, you just listened to every word she said, thus now you are taking her 'side' and attempting to work with her needs/schedule.

In such circumstances you can think anything you want however keep most of those thoughts to yourself.

From what you wrote I saw that both of you keep on dredging up everything and using it as part of the argument. While you can't keep her from bringing up the past, you can refrain from reminding her that she acts like a 16 year old at every turn.

Stop bringing up the 'sexual orientation' stuff. She will do it, but do not engage her. It is really hard to use these things as weapon on a person who does not act and react to those things being used.

As for this school thing... you might want to just take matters into your own hands, do the research, gather the information and compile it into an 'essay' like presentation.

Then when you and mom are not doing anything, when you are not in a car, when she isn't on the phone, when she isn't in the kitchen approach her.

Asking first, 'Can we talk?' is the best way to start a conversation. Just throwing a question at her will already set the stage of 'this is another argument'.

Then saying 'can you please read this over when you have time?' and handing it to her, will have far more of a positive impact on her willingness. Ordering her, or telling her or just handing it to her expecting her to 'do' what ever you want rarely works.

While you may not be satisfied with a 'win', you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you are the more mature party thus you have actually won in many more ways than winning the argument.

As for the sexual orientation stuff as a subject, slowly and steadily disengage from all conversation on the subject.

You are only there for two more years, After that its your body and you can do what you want with it.

Set realistic goals to do whatever it is you want.