i look at it this way i think you need to open yourself to yourself and be brutaly honest with yourself
you will be like a toy boat in a bath tub with the draine plug gone and swerling down at the will of the
forces around you. Look if you actuly atr gay in your hart or perhaps bi so you have hidden desires
that you denie and are forcing their way up to the light of day. you really know whitch and what it is
just look over your life dreams and all that dont just hide it behind in the sole and live life the way otheers want or think you should or you will always have that in the back of your mind what if
and it could seriously hurt yourself or others that get entangeled in your life and i am sure you wouldent like that to cause anyone else pain so take your time and really exzamin your feelings from a place that does not involve looking thrue others eyes just your own. just be true and honest to yourself and things
will open up to you.
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Sounds like people are believing the rumors that one has started. (because the kid said because someone told me) Which means, most people are not looking at you and thinking, is he gay? until they hear the rumor. They just want to confirm or deny the rumor because some people just love social drama. All you can do is disprove them, and ask them why the hell do they care in the first place? Your sexuality isn't their business.
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I've experimented with E and people thought it made me slutty, but it simply made me affectionate feeling such love, goodwill, and trust (though I was lucid enough to realize it was a chemical illusion and not get too crazy), just as it did many guys (who could be seen as effeminate for being so uninhibitedly friendly and affectionate, even to other guys), especially by those who don't understand what E does. Though I must add that I've tried it about 4-5 times (including mixing it once with a small dose of LSD) and I NEVER felt any anxiety...
I find that an odd question for a girl to ask you, too, as it's not any of her biz and I'd think be less inclined to define relationship by sex (granted, some do), and I wonder if she wasn't just trying to give you a hard time either out of annoyance or for her own amusement.
As for counselors, that might be a good idea as that kind of anxiety isn't good. But be careful, not all counselors are good, and I've known some school counselors who were major jerks and would betray a student's confidence by calling parents and grandparents. One school counselor also got bounties to get kids with insurance locked up in an abusive hospital (where sexual abuse by men happened to both boys and girls a like) so be real careful if s/he tries to send you somewhere.
And psyche meds can have serious side effects (though I understand many of them are similar to E in a very minor way) and while they're sometimes worth the risks & side effects, I can't imagine how your having a couple of anxiety attacks while on drugs under specific circumstances could possibly justify their use on you...but some therapists treat them as a panacea and I wouldn't be surprised if some got bounties for pimping a company's drugs, too.
And a psychologist in training told me she was having go through therapy because too many got into psychology to deal with their own issues, failed at it, and tried working out their issues through their clients and doing them all kinds of harm as a result...and not all therapists have gone through this process. Just to be clear I think there are good ones out there, just some caution is warranted, IMO.
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To Wolf, i've really never understood that either.. it's my business whether what i prefer.
and to Pix, i was doing ecstasy every week for a year taking up to 7 at a time
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