I really need some help.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Well i'm gonna have to say thank you very much, the information you gave me gives me a lot to think about.

I just have a feeling if i go to see a counselor, they're going to tell me," Well maybe you are gay you just need to accept it." and that isn't going to help my anxiety at all haha

Having been in and out of therapy, I can't think of one therapist who would do something like that.

They might ask you to consider more deeply the whole 'What do I want in a partner' thing, but they would never say 'Oh maybe you are gay and you just need to accept it'.

Even if you are, they still won't force you to 'accept' it.

Psychologists know that we humans need to identify and label ourselves more than we need others to label us. So on some off chance that you are gay, you do not have to accept that label, and your therapist will not force you to 'accept' it either.

[ineedsomehelp]

Wow man, you had some wicked 'trips'....

Drop the drugs - at least doing drugs around other people.

Most likely you are self conscious of your more effeminate side. Our world tends to make the unnatural assumption that 'effeminate = gay'.

I say unnatural assumption because there are 100% totally straight guys out there who have effeminate features that would never, ever get it on with a guy. And at the other end, there are some really butch, masculine guys who would never dream of being with a woman.

Our drug experiences are making you much more aware how strangers look at you and make assumptions about you. Assume - Ass-U-Me

It is a reflection of their character (actually their lack of character) that you are taking personally.

The only thing about you that you should be worried about is that your growing up to be just like dad. There is a strong correlation between offspring of addicts/alcoholics being addicts/alcoholics themselves. Therefore you may be running a much greater risk of becoming an addict... just like dad.

Many people are assholes, you seem to have many of these assholes in your life. You may not be able to pick your parents, you can pick who you hang around with.

I have been sober for 6 - 8 months now and i don't intend on going back to drugs. I almost see my anxiety as something that helped me get out of my drug phase.

And talking to my dad this morning, apparently the only feminine characteristic i have is being sensitive.

Recently, I just got a job and went in and the day was going perfectly fine. Then some kid came in and asked me if i was gay, and when i said no and asked why he thought that, he told me that's what he was told. This kid is a complete asshole and his friend is the same way. They kept following me around the hole day like walking right behind me and when i'd turn around they'd turn around and start laughing.

That only increased my anxiety. I guess you could say i'm a "pretty boy" and i'm not a very good conversator, but those don't seem like reasons for someone to think i'm gay.

It's all just very nerve racking

[oldster]

i look at it this way i think you need to open yourself to yourself and be brutaly honest with yourself
you will be like a toy boat in a bath tub with the draine plug gone and swerling down at the will of the
forces around you. Look if you actuly atr gay in your hart or perhaps bi so you have hidden desires
that you denie and are forcing their way up to the light of day. you really know whitch and what it is
just look over your life dreams and all that dont just hide it behind in the sole and live life the way otheers want or think you should or you will always have that in the back of your mind what if
and it could seriously hurt yourself or others that get entangeled in your life and i am sure you wouldent like that to cause anyone else pain so take your time and really exzamin your feelings from a place that does not involve looking thrue others eyes just your own. just be true and honest to yourself and things
will open up to you.

[Wolf]

Sounds like people are believing the rumors that one has started. (because the kid said because someone told me) Which means, most people are not looking at you and thinking, is he gay? until they hear the rumor. They just want to confirm or deny the rumor because some people just love social drama. All you can do is disprove them, and ask them why the hell do they care in the first place? Your sexuality isn't their business.

[Pix]

I've experimented with E and people thought it made me slutty, but it simply made me affectionate feeling such love, goodwill, and trust (though I was lucid enough to realize it was a chemical illusion and not get too crazy), just as it did many guys (who could be seen as effeminate for being so uninhibitedly friendly and affectionate, even to other guys), especially by those who don't understand what E does. Though I must add that I've tried it about 4-5 times (including mixing it once with a small dose of LSD) and I NEVER felt any anxiety...

I find that an odd question for a girl to ask you, too, as it's not any of her biz and I'd think be less inclined to define relationship by sex (granted, some do), and I wonder if she wasn't just trying to give you a hard time either out of annoyance or for her own amusement.

As for counselors, that might be a good idea as that kind of anxiety isn't good. But be careful, not all counselors are good, and I've known some school counselors who were major jerks and would betray a student's confidence by calling parents and grandparents. One school counselor also got bounties to get kids with insurance locked up in an abusive hospital (where sexual abuse by men happened to both boys and girls a like) so be real careful if s/he tries to send you somewhere.

And psyche meds can have serious side effects (though I understand many of them are similar to E in a very minor way) and while they're sometimes worth the risks & side effects, I can't imagine how your having a couple of anxiety attacks while on drugs under specific circumstances could possibly justify their use on you...but some therapists treat them as a panacea and I wouldn't be surprised if some got bounties for pimping a company's drugs, too.

And a psychologist in training told me she was having go through therapy because too many got into psychology to deal with their own issues, failed at it, and tried working out their issues through their clients and doing them all kinds of harm as a result...and not all therapists have gone through this process. Just to be clear I think there are good ones out there, just some caution is warranted, IMO.

[ineedsomehelp]

To Wolf, i've really never understood that either.. it's my business whether what i prefer.

and to Pix, i was doing ecstasy every week for a year taking up to 7 at a time