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What's the most romantic thing you have ever done with your boyfriend?
#11
Cuddling together under the stars.


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Fred

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
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#12
Allowed him to keep breathing.....:o

I don't do 'romantic' Or maybe I do and just don't see what I do as romantic....

I pack lunches for us, I include such things as hard-boiled eggs - I take out the sharpies and draw little faces on them, butterflies and other things. I guess its a big deal for him, when I made the mistake of stopping that, and just packing the eggs into the lunch box without inking them first, it came up in one of our arguments 'You don't love me no more!' Delving deeper he viewed my not inking the eggs to mean I stopped loving him.

I don't do overtly romantic things. If I brought him flowers he would wonder who died. If I was to bring candy he most likely would think I am cheating....

I do little things to show I care... Well if you include building a bed as 'little'.....
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#13
Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:Allowed him to keep breathing.....:o

I don't do 'romantic' Or maybe I do and just don't see what I do as romantic....

I pack lunches for us, I include such things as hard-boiled eggs - I take out the sharpies and draw little faces on them, butterflies and other things. I guess its a big deal for him, when I made the mistake of stopping that, and just packing the eggs into the lunch box without inking them first, it came up in one of our arguments 'You don't love me no more!' Delving deeper he viewed my not inking the eggs to mean I stopped loving him.

I don't do overtly romantic things. If I brought him flowers he would wonder who died. If I was to bring candy he most likely would think I am cheating....

I do little things to show I care... Well if you include building a bed as 'little'.....

Thank you for giving me a chance to ask you a question, and it is really a general question. I'm still single, but I want to know in advance to prepare myself if I meet my future boyfriend. I apologize if I digress the topic.

Like you, I like to do little things to express my love to people I care about. I am perhaps a black sheep in my family because most people are into tradition while I'm not.

While many people complain that men are lousy at remembering birthday or anniversaries, I'm quite good at remembering them. The problem is I am never into those days, and I don't like to give a gift to my parents or cousins.

Let me give you some examples.

Quote:There was a time my little cousin struggled with his homework. He had to stay up late to finish it because it was due next day. After school and work, I was exhausted and wanted to sleep early. However, I managed to stay up with my cousin and helped him with his homework although he didn't ask me. My cousin really appreciated what I had done.

When my cousin graduated high school, he invited me and my parents to come to his celebration day. My parents and other relatives bought lots flowers and gifts. Before the day, my parents criticized me for not giving an idea of buying gifts for my cousin. They said that I was cold and eccentric. On the celebration day, I spent some time talking with my cousin. He confided his worry to me about his upcoming college days in UCLA. He was worried about making friends, surviving in college, his parents' expectation, and so on. I listened to him without saying much. A few days later, I went to Amazon to buy some textbooks for my classes. Suddenly, I thought that perhaps an inspirational book would help my cousin. Then I bought "Chicken soup for the college soul" and shipped it overnight to my cousin's place. Next day, he called to thank me and said that I was like a real brother to him.

My mom likes her bed to be warm before going to sleep on it. She usually turns on heat blanket two hours before going to bed. I notice that, and do it for her although she never asks me. My mom is certainly moved.

My father told my mom that he preferred a nail clipper that has straight blades instead of concave ones although my mom did his nails most of the time. I heard that, and when I came back to Vietnam, I bought several nail clippers that my dad likes.

When I was a math tutor, I had a tutee whose girlfriend wanted him to go out with her in the next morning. Although he begged her to let him study, she wouldn't listen. The math lab was about to close, and my student still had so much homework to do. He had no choice but left it unfinished when I voluntarily helped him outside the math lab. Then we went to a local Starbuck and stayed until all customers left. The student appreciated what I did for him and offered to pay me, but I refused. I went home late. My parents thought what I did was ridiculous and wasted no time giving me a lecture, but I felt happy.

I'm sorry for writing too much. The point is whenever I do something for someone, I do it wholeheartedly, and the way I show my love is spontaneous. I always act on my feelings, which never fall on holiday, birthday, or and special day. In my mind, birthday or holiday is just like any other day. I only feel my expression of love is genuine and meaningful when my mind is not occupied by tradition or birthday. I have always been like this since I was born. I used to try buying birthday and Christmas presents for my cousins, aunts, and uncles. However, I mostly felt like I was pressured to do it although no body forced me.

I wonder if this would be an issue when I'm romantically involved with an American-born man.
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#14
If its the right guy he will see and understand these qualities to be real acts of love, not merely traditional 'comply so social expectations' actions.

Like you I don't fall for the propaganda of holidays and special days. I have tempered that over the years with giving a nod to 'traditions' since it is expected.

I don't do the guessing game when it comes to gifts. I flat out ask my partner 'What do you want for Christmas?' I ask in July, expecting an answer before Halloween. His gifts have been sitting in the closet since September.Wink

Anniversary and birthday is pretty much the same. He knows I will never do any spontaneous shopping, he knows that I do not want anything in return (he will get me something because he feels he must). I told him the first night we stayed up all night talking "I don't do holidays, I don't do shopping, Do expect me to ask you want you want for a holiday."

He seemed OK with it from the very start.

When it comes to other people and gifts, He asks me for the credit card, I hand him cash and let him do the shopping - I made the mistake of handing him a credit card once - just once.... Through the years we have set aside a 'petty cash' fund which is used for seasonal birthdays, anniversaries etc. He is in charge of the gift getting, wrapping thing for others. I am as surprised at what people get from 'us' as the people opening the gift.

If you meet the right guy you two will need to talk about it and 'arrange' something that works for you both.





mynhii Wrote:Thank you for giving me a chance to ask you a question, and it is really a general question. I'm still single, but I want to know in advance to prepare myself if I meet my future boyfriend. I apologize if I digress the topic.

(Snip for length)
I wonder if this would be an issue when I'm romantically involved with an American-born man.
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#15
I have not had my first love yet. but I think the most romantic thing is enjoyin the sunset with him together on a beach
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#16
I am not romantic in any traditional sense of the word. One of the first things I told my lover 25 years ago when we met was that I do not do Valentines Day (or any holiday actually) because I like to express how I feel when I feel it and I will never force any feelings...it is phony for me. It is just as bad to be on the receiving end for me on those "special days"...I really dislike them.

If you ask him though...I am very romantic and I think the same of him. The stuff I do or he does is intimate and private between me and him. I think the most romantic thing either one of us did and will ever do was the manner in which we met....I told the story once how we met here...once is enough...but it qualifies as the most romantic thing I have ever done (that I will share with anyoneConfusedmileSmile

http://gayspeak.com/showthread.php?t=15318
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#17
Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:I don't do the guessing game when it comes to gifts. I flat out ask my partner 'What do you want for Christmas?' I ask in July, expecting an answer before Halloween. His gifts have been sitting in the closet since September.Wink

I hope you don't mind me asking you this. Is what you tell me an American thing or is it just you? I know that American people value honesty very much, and they like to say what they think. I guess I'm not used to this yet. At work and school, I can be 100% honest. However, when it comes to love, I feel like I need to be sensitive and subtle. I no longer do traditional gifts, so each "gift" I give is almost always meaningful and thoughtful.

Perhaps I'm too emotional, aren't I?

Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:If you meet the right guy you two will need to talk about it and 'arrange' something that works for you both.

I agree that two people in relationship will need to talk about compromise. However, do we really need to be all the way when it comes to expressing our feelings? Showing our love is a matter of the heart, and it doesn't need reason or logic, does it?

Let's say that you want something, and you don't tell your partner because you don't want to bother him. He secretly notices what you want and get it for you. Don't you think it's really romantic when he does that? I'm not saying that he has to do that every single time, but it shows that he's subtle about your needs.
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#18
It lives , enough said.
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#19
We are not together anymore but what comes first to my mind is when we were in the park in summer. It was around 2 or 3 AM, it was cool, park was empty. We were listening to music by his phone and I laid down on the bench and put my head on his knees and stayed there for some time. It was a very nice feeling to cuddle in a public park when it was empty.
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