11-13-2011, 02:14 PM
me and my best friend- you know- the guy i like- that might be potentially straight. as of late or friendship has been fucked up. and recently we have been arguing. He says he wants to sort out our friendship and he wants to work out the kinks. he doesnt understand why our friendship screws up every now and then. i know why though. its because i fell in love with him and i havent had the courage to tell him im gay or that i have fallen for him-so i often get really bitter andlash out at him with silent treatments and such. it really hurts him. and i'll admit it really hurts me to. this last time we went for almost half a year not talking. i cant do this anymore the going in and out of friendship. the mending and repairing then the destroying and burning. i have to end it. i have to tell him. he has extended that offer to sort things out. I think i'm ready to out myself to him. i think im ready for consequences. and i'll go in expecting hes straight and will reply with a shocked and terror. or maybe he'll hate me for not trusting him. whatever the cause. im sick of hurting us both. this last time we argued, i know i struck a nerve. hes gotten really upset. hes told me hes been crying. and that tears me to shreds, knowing if i just had a little more balls and wasnt a coward that this wouldnt be happenin to him. its time he gets to know, who his real friend is. hopefully we can get past this. this is gonna be my first time outing myself. im nervous. im so so so nervous. im scared. but im also really anxious. i just hope---everything comes out ok....:frown: