11-16-2011, 03:18 PM
In general I hate the danceclub environment and other over crowded surroundings, I often get nervous or just flipping out if there is to many around me, I often become aggressive if I have consumed alcohol to. . I've also been in a quite depressive state lately to in matter of fact. Anyhow... I went to a bar / danceclub with my friend and with 2 chick he invited and wished to bang, As always I felt anxious. I drank some more beers although i was wasted and we hit the dancefloor after. It just felt so wrong, I really do suck and hate to dance but I kind of felt suffocated. I went outside first just to chill but there was to much people for me to relax, i searched anywhere for a place to take a seat inside and out. Eventually my friend joined me and cheered me up. It didn't take long for me to left, I felt quite angry as always at first but just 2 blocks away I went to a park to piss but instead I just hide out and cried hysterically. My memory of the night has faded some and as stated I was drunk, but from what I remembered I felt crushed, heart broken. I have been friend with him since junior high and we hang out on regular basis, Although I find him so handsome and have had sex dreams sometimes about him... I think I have a crush on him, as I've just though that those feelings was just a bromance or brothership. But I am not sure how to cope with the feelings, a part of me just want to bury the feelings and remain close friends and a part just wants to fuck his brain out. He is atleast from what I've seen from him is he straight as a wall, I could came out to him about my sexuality but what about my feelings? I need help