Hi guys!

[alexh27]

Hi, I'm new to the forums here, I'm 19 and recently decided to stop lying to myself, and start living my life as a gay man. Its been a trying time, as its been hard to come to terms with it to myself, as I always thought there was no way that I was gay, it just couldn't be me, that I wasn't, I was just confused. Turns out that that isn't the case lol, I now know that I'm gay, and I'm happy to actually say it. It may be only on an online forum, but it just feels nice to get it out. And I'm not out to anyone yet, but I am hoping to come out to one of my friends pretty soon, because she's bi, and been a part of a lot of lgbt groups around the area, and she's always been pretty supportive of me. Any thoughts as to what I should do? Should I tell her just to get it over with?

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[chillythoughts]

welcome to the forum.
I think you should tell her but theres no rush coming out.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Hi and Welcome.

If you are lucky to have a person from the LGBT community to come out to - come out to them first.

They will stand the greatest chance of accepting you, and then they can share with you their experiences in that areas, provide a safety net for support and shoulder to cry on if needed as you 'come out' to others.

Further, in this case, since she is involved with LGBT groups, she can introduce you to other safe LGBT who can also support you, befriend you and be positive role models in your life.

Coming out is hard to do, it carries a lot of emotional 'stuff' with it. So even though you know she is 'safe' to come out too, that emotional stuff can stand in the way.

Do it when you are ready. No real push to come out.

[AirBorn]

Welcome! We are all here for you when you need us.

[FeverentReverie]

Welcome to Gayspeak Good luck on coming out!

[Dark Vamp]

Hi Alex. Glad to see your denial phase is over and you are more accepting about yourself.

[princealbertofb]

Dear Alex, to GaySpeak, and yes I think you should tell your bi friend because it'll be good practice for when you need to tell other people, who you care a lot about, people for whom it is essential to be your total true self. I know what you mean when you say it's been hard admitting it to yourself, maybe that's the hardest part. The next hardest part is figuring how to tell people who, if they haven't guessed, are still classifying you as an honorary straight (like 99% of the rest of the population -- ok, ok, :redface: my figures may not be totally right here, but.... you know what I mean ) We are always so worried about LETTING people DOWN with this news. It shouldn't be that way. People should be pleased that we're different and that we think differently and that we can bring the world all the great things that being different supplies to society. See my thread about a very diverse world and think where you'd rather live. Good luck with your self disclosure and your new life of freedom.

[nomadicgay]

Welcome to GS and good luck on coming out to your friend, once you've come out you'll feel a whole lot better.

[pellaz]

welcome to gs/best of luck.

on one end there is no big rush to out yourself and on the other end bad to delay it till your best friends are the last ones to find out. not the best for a straight friend who consider them selves close to find out form someone else. and most people you already have close contact with, do they not already know?


"but I am hoping to come out to one of my friends pretty soon, because she's bi, and been a part of a lot of lgbt groups around the area, and she's always been pretty supportive of me"
from what you said this sounds like a must do, a good resource and a gf is a good un complicated relationship for a gay man. YES; you should tell her and get over with it.

you also get to choose who you out yourself to. for example: avoid peeps that dont have a need to know or someone dumb like rocks.

your parents; there is an option to tell them? your mother will be most accepting usually. again maybe they already know. give them the news, than wait a little time for things to sink in. talk to them again, if the read there are some good books out there for them. some youtube stuff.

[baldurjonnson]

Welcome to the forum!