Trying to stay strong

[BluDetroit]

Why do relationships have to suck so bad? I try to be the best person I can be, but no matter what I do people always shit on me it seems. I've been 'dating' this guy for almost 9 months. I met him off myspace, when we first starting talking on the phone we would talk for hours. And finally I met him, and everything was great. He seemed really into me and he would be all cute and call me beautiful, baby, and everything sweet. I was really starting to fall for him, and its hard for me as it is to trust anybody. So I really put my guard down. BIG MISTAKE. And now Im paying for it.

Right when I first met him (online), he was in the process of finding a new job because his old company he worked for (of 7yrs) went out of buisness. It didnt take him long to find a new job. And that was pretty much the time that I've met him in person. So after I met him, we would see each other quite often. And it was great, I made him smile, laugh, and he was making me happy as well. But something about him changed, and I cant quite pin point it.
Another mistake that I've made was having sex with him pretty much everytime we got together, It was not something that I felt he was pressuring me with, but I wanted it as well. And it wasnt like just bang bang, and thats it, it was a close connection. (I know, this was definately the biggest mistake I made)

Ever since his new job he has been working alot, getting promotions, hes an area manager so he has to travel alot. So less and less I got to see him. And the most distant he got. The last time he was actually sweet or cute to me was around new years, and thats because I found out he was coked out. So now I'm starting to think hes either addicted to coke or possibly pills. Or only wants a relationship when hes high on something.

I am so fucking confused and becoming bitter. I have a good personality, a nice body, and a good background. I deserve way more than this shit. I'm a firm believer of karma, but Im seriously about to fill his tires with propane. (lol - well not really, but if I didnt laugh I would be crying)

I feel like he used me for sex, after fucking brain washing me acting like he was a good guy that was looking for a relationship at first. But now everytime I mention anything that deals with any kind of relationship or commitment he seems to want to change the subject or become an asshole.
I dont know what to do, I am starting to loose hope in ever finding somebody right for me. But I know that guys like him should be lined up and shot.

Theres so much more shit that hes done that I cant even begin to explain, its a huge mess and I wouldnt want anybody to go through this kind of shit like I have. All I know is that hes made a huge mistake on passing me up like I'm some kind of whore, hes not going to know what he is missing out on.

I'm sorry that I have to dump all this on you guys, but I really just had to get some off my chest. Normally I would ask you guys what I should do, but Its pretty clear what I have to do. Just get over him. :confused:

[spotysocks]

After reading this i ll first say that is normal to feel Confused used and misleaded. You probably know what to do but give him the benefit of doubt until you talk to him and ask him what your heart needs to know. Try to catch him sober tho

I get what you mean when you trying to see what are your mistakess. to figure out what happened and how this whole dating/relationship thing works. Sometimes personaly i dont get answers but always learn something new. Learning isnt easy and i hope for your sake that all the bitterness goes and you open your door to new prospects and possibilities you got plenty of time.

I have a good personality, a nice body, and a good background. I deserve way more than this shit. I'm a firm believer of karma, but Im seriously about to fill his tires with propane.

Don’t forget what i quote above, he probably needs propane (but dont mainly for legal reason!) I would never ever shit on you honeybunch!!!! (even if you were into that kind of stuff lol) and i bet other guys think the same... You can raise hands now people

[BluDetroit]

I've already gave him the benefit of the doubt and tried to talk to him, its pointless. But I see what your saying, and your right, there is no reason why I should blame myself, I have done nothing wrong, and I've been myself completely.
I just got to get over this and move on. It just hard because I'm a dreamer, I think too much. I'm sure I'm not the first person to go through something like this, but its nice to get it out, it has made me feel better. And I appreciate your words, thanks.

[Udabar]

OK, Here's what I have to say on the whole matter.

I have been down that same road, except the guy I was into wasent doped up on coke... It was anything and everything he could get his hands on. I hate, let me say this again, HATE drugs. I was so into him that I was able to over look all the drugs he did and just see him. I never once saw the world around me revolving much less change one bit the entire 6 months I was hanging around him. I was a sad tragic end... He wound up basically throwing me to the curb like I was yesterdays trash when he found someone new.

I understand completely how you feel... and it is a bad feeling. It's like your whole heart and soul was just ripped from your body, hung on a clothes line to dry and then ran through a shredder.

But you are absolutely right, all you have to do is give it time. Depending on how much you liked him, it may be a long time. I believe it took me a year and a half to get over that guy. But to this day now, I keep my guard up, and standards high. I guess thats why I'm still single. Looking for someone who I can trust, doesnt do drugs and who is looking for a relationship.. not just sex.

[BluDetroit]

I wish things would just be easier. But then again I suppose a good relationship would be worth the wait. I just got to continue working for myself and nobody else untill I find someone worth my while. It sucks that you had to go through something like this as well, but Its a learning experiance.

[jaybieboy]

I know its hard but try and look at it as a lesson learnt - after all life is one big learning experience. Next time you'll just be alot more cautious. If i was you id get as far away from him as possible as he'll only drag you down with him and from what u seem like u deserve alot better. Theres gotta be something wrong with hes life to get stoned. Is that really the kinda guy you want? Men are arseholes and your not the only one to go through something like this (which means there are genuine/decent guys out there) the trick is just finding them

wanna hug?