I'm an awful person; what do I do?

[oldster]

ok in my thoughts if you are not sure if you can do with out a emotional bond in your relationship then you will not be able to Look we most of us want and need this in our lives to be able to feel part of your lovers or even temp triicks world. So you feel that you have more than just a quick fkick in the feathers .and nothing else. And untill that part of that thing is part of your physical relationship then you dont realy have a relation ship you have a lust apeaser how ever if you try to explain this to your current guy and he understands and opens to himself enoghto find that in himself and give you what you and he really needs then it may be better that you end as friends or you get into an open relationship and get what you can from whoever. I would rather free my lover if he would be happyer with another because i wasnt giveing what ever he needs because ilove him that much that his happyness is more important than mine.
so get talking and both being totaly honest with each other i realize it is toughto tell a lover he is not perfect a real eago bruser but unless both are totaly satisfied it just wont work no mater how infatuated you are with this guy
It,s like a compleatly gay man marrying some woman to please the family and freinds some time in the future he will just not be able to stand it anylonger and then everyone will be hurt.sorry but if hhe loves you and he can handel being totaly honest with himself and start to like himself as a whole person and realize thatthe sex is actily part of him and can learn that physical sex is not eenogh he has to share of himself too. Then find some one that can fufill your total nee3ds dont just settel for what you have because of fear that may not find more that he is willing /capable of bringing to the table
sorry if too mixed and too many repeats but the idea is there so good luck

[Bowyn Aerrow]

excellent "Gay Man in a Monogamous Gay Relationship" not.
why are you online at a dating site in the first place. Functional boy friends are difficult to find. Look at the effort we go to maintaining a relationship. You have too much personal time.

NEVER NEVER TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND YOU WERE CHEATING ON HIM. This will not make it all good and it is a lazy out. You are not the dependent child that crunchyed the family car and your boyfriend is not your dad. You are equals. He is more likely to cheat on you now and generally dis respect, dis trust you. This will compound the repair you have to make in the relationship. You must accept him if he cheats on you now.

There is some value to be able to go through your adult live with the least regrets as possible but you will make mistakes. You are young and plenty of time to make mistakes. Get over it.

Be comfortable with the thought you may loose both boys.

I have to disagree.

I had a 'partner' who cheated on me, a lot. I walked in on them and 'caught' them in the act... Prior to that others told me that he was cheating, I asked and he boldly lied through his teeth (he was a real good liar, most people I can 'tell' when they are lying) and I didn't believe those who warned me. The psychological impact of that 'encounter' was not good. Not only did he betray my trust by cheating (often) he made matters far worse by lying to me.

Then I have another who cheated on me and told me. The psychological impact although somewhat severe was not as bad. His 'fessing up' to the act lead to resolution, couple's counseling and my being able to 'deal with' it. I'm still with him, been with him for over a decade now.

I have never cheated on a person. I never felt a need to 'get back'. Many people do not see the need to cheat back, knowing its a dead end route, or worse, the start of a vicious circle.

Honesty in a relationship is important, even if that truth hurts, it usually hurts less than the event then a lie (or many lies) to cover up that event.