Advice

[chiguy]

Okay so I have never been with a guy. Have always had intense fantasies about going down on men and being on the receiving end of things in bed. I want to start anal play but do not want to use my fingers any other suggestions? Not sure where to start here lol.

[Moregelen]

Well, you know, you're in a straight relationship? It really isn't that unusual for even straight guys to like anal play; it feels good whether you are attracted to men or not. Maybe you have your girlfriend help you out? Seriously, I know plenty of straight guys who claim to enjoy it, so I suppose you should try talking about it to your girlfriend about it :biggrin:

If you don't want to do that, there are toys out there for beginners who don't know what they are doing; they even make toys specifically designed to help you reach and stimulate your prostate with minimum fuss. Maybe try one of those?

[chiguy]

Thanks for the advice, unfortunately my gf would probably dump me at the first mention of that idea. I also tend to like the idea of anal play with a masculine man and being submissive to him, not so much with a girl.

[Moregelen]

Well, I suppose if it is something you feel like you 'need', you're going to have to consider if you can stay in a relationship with a woman then. And being with a man has the advantage of being versatile, usually at least.

I suppose the real issue comes if you don't feel that its something you want to give your relationship with a woman up for, while also strongly feeling its something you need. It sounds like you have some hard decisions ahead, but when it comes to something like this, I suggest being a bit selfish and thinking about what you need first. Yes, in a relationship you have to compromise, but if the relationship is something that fundamentally isn't right for you... I'm rambling a bit, sorry. Just, ya know, its your life, which we only get one crack at, and if this is something you want and need, you'll probably end up miserable denying yourself, so think about that.

[pellaz]

i hope your real name is not Obama?

Gay, bi or straight life and relationships are the same thing. The first step is being able to be comfortable with your current life as a whole. From what you said there is a ways to go on this.

You are married and this will limit the men you get to meet, and it should because sex with a straight is funky. Stay away from Craigslist, first impressions are accurate, find a good man. Not a bad to discuss previous life styles with the prospective partner.

You are aware of the damage this can will do to you financially or physical health or emotionally? Compound this because it could do it to another person... your wife. Just think if you gave your wife the hiv. You took an oath boo.

Every day in the shower, soap free, insert a finger..
Start your adventure by getting tested and continue to do this if you sexing something outside your relationship. There is a hep vaccination series, get that. All this is available for free. Do the googles and become an expert on how hiv, hep, general std's are transmitted. Incubation times, initial signs of infection and transmission methods. No exception on the safe sex.

[chiguy]

Thanks! I do not want to give up my relationship, but do want to explore sex with men.

[Moregelen]

Is he actually married?

Curious Man in a Monogamous Straight Relationship != married, though he might have said he is somewhere else I suppose. And married or not, the devastation that finding out you cheated on her with other men would be just as damaging.

But yeah, what pellaz said. Stay away from things like Grindr too, and online hook up sites really aren't a good idea; you'll be taking a big risk using them.

[pellaz]

my bad no reason to think he is married

find someone kind remarkable that you can be proud of because you will give away a part of your relationship. Its all part of the life you will have to live.