ever feel unwanted?

[Anonymous]

Has anyone else ever had the feeling they are unwanted?
Even though you do everything in your power to make the one you love happy... it just feels like its not enough because they constantly ask for more.
Like... my bf asks me to change little things about myself (nothing major) so i do but it always leads to another thing needing to change etc.

Its starting to feel like im getting ultimatums all the time... Do this or that, otherwise im leaving you

Is that the norm or what?

[fenris]

Has anyone else ever had the feeling they are unwanted?
Even though you do everything in your power to make the one you love happy... it just feels like its not enough because they constantly ask for more.
Like... my bf asks me to change little things about myself (nothing major) so i do but it always leads to another thing needing to change etc.

Its starting to feel like im getting ultimatums all the time... Do this or that, otherwise im leaving you

Is that the norm or what?

I would show him the door ... I hate this " If you don´t change.... " You are not his puppet... and for my opinion it is complete impossible to modify a grown man, if he does not even want

[East]

Without knowing more and just using my gut I would say if he left you he would be doing you a favor.

What kinds of things does he want you to change?

[Rainbowmum]

Hi Anon,
First let me say this , I have been where you are , I understand completely the frustration that you are feeling.
I am so very sorry that he is treating you this way.
It took me about 6 months to see that the problem was not me it was him.
It was one of the hardest things I had to do , as by that time he had striped me of all my confidence and self worth.
I was in therapy for a year ,that was the first time I realized that I was in an abusive relationship, it took a very long time to rebuild my self esteem and dismiss the degrading thoughts that kept repeating his insults.

Sweetie I do not usually tell anyone what to do regarding their relationship.
This is the one time I am making the exception.

RUN do not walk ,and please get some counseling .

The thing with emotional abuse is that no one can see the scars .
The abusers get empowered by humiliating you and stealing your self worth.

You are better then that , you deserve happiness.

[zeon]

If he starts telling you to do this and do that say fuck u and show him where the door is be cruel back and say go on then u said ur gonna walk dont just sit there and think ur something amazing because your not your going go!!!! and point sternly dont back down because relationship bullies are not worth any respect!

[mrk2010]

The simple answer, yes all the time, and all of my life.

[Keye]

If he starts telling you to do this and do that say fuck u and show him where the door is be cruel back and say go on then u said ur gonna walk dont just sit there and think ur something amazing because your not your going go!!!! and point sternly dont back down because relationship bullies are not worth any respect!

In my opinion, I wouldn't be cruel back. By just showing him cruelty then that just gives him motive to be more cruel back, and that could be in the form of physical violence. That should be avoided... I'd advise you to get him in a public place and calmly tell him what you're feeling/thinking. Bring some friends if you need someone there for support.
Good luck and I hope everything works out well for you.

[Almac]

Oh boy don't I know that feeling of being unwanted, so I can empathise with you.

[oldster]

by by dont let the door hit you too hard on the ass while you go out the door
i would almost bet his deires and waants are the only in portant thing .
sorry just sounds so familure. i have seen this happpen to so many kind giveing people
there are givers and takers in this life but amasingly ther are thoes that take and mirror to give back what ever is given them they are hard to find but they stay hidden usaly becayse thay are givvers too that have been hurt all you can do is give a little and watch who gives back and only give more to thoes who return just take things with a grain of salt till they provve they are worthy of your giveing and worry about your happyness and put it in the forfront

[Rainbowmum]

No offense oldster , but it is not that easy to just walk out and forget.