Hello,
The way i understand flamboyancy is that first off its not for me unless im messing around having a bit of a banter moment.... SDecondly people who are like that in themselves are showing the world that they have accepted themselves and are comfortable within their own sexuality... Some people mis understand it as a way of false advertising a bit like screaming Oh look here ducky im here im queer and i take it up the rear Oh Ar missus'. Um No its not advertising its a way they like to express the way they are
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Let me go into more detail. It happens the most when I'm around a bunch of girls. I don't know if it's the estrogen in me or what, but I feel a stronger unstoppable urge to speak more feminine. I don't hang out around many gay guys, or people at all for that matter (for reasons that have nothing to do with my gay tendencies. That's not why I'm a recluse), but I imagine that if I did the same would occur. On the other hand, if I'm around some masculine straight guys, I start to talk more masculine. I guess it's some kind of code-switching. Something in me wants to connect to the people around me so I can't help but speak like they do. Same thing when I chill with my non-white friends who speak in their own dialects. My best friend talks with a bit of jive/soul/ebonics/etc and it rubs off on me too. So Maybe my talking more feminine around more feminine people is just my way of trying to connect. I might bring this up to a gay therapist or a linguist professor at my university or something.
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Personally I would say no unless you have been masking the way you feel immensely before coming out. Fair enough you might be more open and out there, but I wouldn't have thought someone would become drastically flamboyant. Also people are different, even though I'm gay I'm a typical boy, I love sports and I would like to think I'm quite masculine.
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I am a masculine guy and I have always thought about my actions and movements before I actully made them to make sure I wasn't doing anything "Gay". It has def worked because nobody suspects a thing and when I came out to my life long friend a month ago she was completely blown away and didnt belive it. I wish now I would have gave off some kind of gay vibe because coming out would be a hell of alot eaiser if people has some kind of clue. I kinda asked myself the same question because I am sick of hiding who I am. I am not running down the road with the rainbow flag or anyting but I am at the point where I am done making up stories when I get asked if I screwd some chick or when the last time I messed around with a chick. I am done thinking about my actions before I make them so maybe that is a possiblity why we could be a little more of a flamer the more comfortable you are with yourself. Just speculating and rambling...:biggrin:
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That could be a part of it. I remember having some of that internalized homophobia too. But there was a time when I couldn't slur my S's, where my voice was deeper, my bodytype was more mesomorphic, my hands seemed far more masculine and my face had a more masculine look too. I've never been big into sports, and part of this could be due to inactivity and weight gain, though. I also have the sneaking suspicion that smoking pot for a few years before these changes occured caused an increase in estrogen, as it is known to do. The worst part of all these changes is the fact that my genitals are numb. They feel like they did before I hit puberty or something. It sucks because I don't have any outlet. Does anyone know how I can restore sensitivity? Do any of you know someone who has had this problem? Any remedies or advice helps. I'm afraid I might have to round up enough cash for a medical checkup.
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