How Surprised were your Parents?

[pellaz]

Well....I'm hopefully gonna find out in the next few hours......

very best of luck
this is something you are doing for yourself right

[KJ1989]

Combination of things, not least of which a health scare which is making me think lifes too short to worry...

[princealbertofb]

Yes, KJ, allow your parents time to get used to the idea if it is a shock to them for starters... Also please tell them not to worry about you as you are going to be responsible, right? Parents still worry about the AIDS scare (and rightly so)!

[KJ1989]

I don't think that's going to come to mind for them. I think if it's taken kind of badly I might suggest that I'll go up to my college house and give them some space, i dunno.

[fredv3b]

Good Luck!


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[Bowyn Aerrow]

Well I have told my 'coming out the the parents' story several times now. It was through the telephone.

Both of my parents took it 'badly'. I had a heads up, my brother came out of the closet when I was 12 (he was 16) in my mother and her husband's house. After the huge explosion (verbal, and flying crockery, ashtrays, books and other easy to throw items) he was kicked out.

I didn't 'come out' until I was 24... I telephoned - while mother screamed a few profanities and told me to never call back again, and father changed the subject literally to weather and the effects of the past summer's weather on his crops, we never discussed the 'gay' for me nor my brother ever again.

By their reactions, I can only assume they didn't have a clue on either me nor my brother. I can only assume that they were 'surprised' by the whole notion.

[Pix]

I'm not close to either mom or dad and haven't told either one.

But I'm close to Granny and I've told her. Let's see, I started off telling her that at 17 I truly became sexual (though I'd fooled around for years before that) and I fooled around with guys and girls. This didn't seem to surprise her at all or bother her. But then I told her (because I thought it was funny) how a guy told me I'd "outgrow" my bisexuality and said he was right, I'm only into women now. THAT disturbed her, and she was quiet for awhile and looked distressed.

Then she started asking if the messed up life with my 'rents was keeping me from wanting to have a family, if I was with women because I was scared of guys or angry at them, and worst of all, if she'd done something or failed to have done something that made me gay. She talked like she was scared I could never have a happy life and that I'd die alone (I wonder if she'd have had that reaction if I said I decided to be celibate?), and some time later she also mentioned how bad she'd messed up raising my mom (and she really did, though I don't hold it against her) and hoped she'd had done better with me (and I got the implication that she felt she'd messed up with me and the only reason I can think she'd think that is because I'm a lesbian). I think I'd have preferred a knee jerk Christian reaction of how it's a sin to her acting like she must've failed me somehow.

But she adjusted and I think she's ok with it now.

[Samis]

My mom first found out when she read my letters when I was 14. She was shocked and went to a depressive state. I told her it was just a phase.

My being gay became an issue again when I was 16. Before that I had dated a girl, but before turning 17 I had a relationship with a man who was 29 years older than me. Mom really didn't take that well. Well, I broke up with the man and went back to girls.

I had a few relationships, quite a few short ones but a couple longer ones, too. Had something going on with some guys too but stayed very quiet about them. When I was 19, I got out of a 2-year-long and difficult relationship with a woman. After that, I was single for 3 years. Then I met the man I'm with now. I told mom that I have something to say. "You're seeing someone", she said. I said "Well...yeah". She had stalked my new facebook friends (lol..mom<3) and said "it's blablabla, isn't it? You're dating a guy". I responded: "Well...yeah. Is it ok?", to which mom said "Of course it's ok. I knew all along that in the end you would be interested in guys".

My stepfather knows I'm gay (he said he'd known all along..or so mom said, she told him) but doesn't know I'm seeing someone. The rest of my family (brother, sisters, uncles..) don't know about my being gay. I think they might suspect something but so far the cat hasn't been layed on the table. I made an early new year's promise to myself tho: in the year 2012 I'll tell my whole family about my gayness. And my bf. I'm scared. But it'll be ok.

[CexCells]

I don't have the best coming out story to tell but also not the worst.
My parents are divorced and I live with my mother, I told her about 5 years ago, when I told her she cried shouted at me, called me a pervert and then told me that because I am gay I won't live long...
To which I ended up smashing a mug at the wall near her head because of how bad she was being towards me.
Things have settled more now but she is never ok with it, never wants to meet any bf's and still thinks I'm going to get aids...

My father on the other hand I only told him about a month ago! He is a much more easy going person yet I put off telling him because 1. I didn't see him often enough and when I do we generally just go out somewhere to shop / eat and I never thought out in a shopping centre somewhere would be a good time to go oh by the way dad I'm gay and 2. because of the way my mother reacted I was unsure how he would take it and was so scared to maybe have to go through it again...
HOWEVER all was ok and he supported me and even text me after saying I love you whatever you have to do in life.
So I guess I got a positive outcome in the end

[LateBloomer]

I can't remember if I've told my story here (somewhere in my introduction thread, maybe?).

Anyway, I was 31 at the time, still a virgin, not dating, but felt like I had some explaining to do. I was out to dinner with my parents when I asked them if they had ever suspected anything about my sexuality.

My mom initially no, but my dad just flatly nodded his head and said, yeah.

So I explained it to them.

Then my mom recanted (typical...) and said, yes, she did have her suspicions. She said it didn't matter. My dad wondered if it was due to something he did (or didn't do)...

<blah>

Not the most enjoyable conversation in my life, but it was good to put everything on the table (well not quite everything). We have never spoken about it since. Somehow, I'm guessing there's going to be another conversation in 2012. So sick of being single, this is going to be big news if I can actually manage a steady relationship.