I just need to blurt this out. Sorry.
I had lunch with a few friends today. Whilst heading to a restaurant, we saw a guy in a Gorilla furry black suit jumping and fooling around at one spot. He was with a TV crew doing a TV commercial.
Two of my friends from different race then pointed out. "Jay, that's your friend!"
Then they laughed. I sighed.
Few days before Christmas, I received this cute plush black Monkey doll from a female friend. She meant no harm. But then another few friends joked, "Omg Jay, the monkey doll looks like you." One of them placed the monkey on my left shoulder. My face fell.
On Christmas 2009, I wore a fake halo on my head. I was fooling around. A friend then made a joke, "This is not a white angel. It's a black angel." My other friends laughed.
If I hear another joke like this again, I will seriously call that person a racist and he/she needs to fu** off.
I never thought that I have to face racist remarks in my entire life.
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Jay just let it pass by, there's no reason you should spend another minute thinking about it. When I first moved to where I now live a group of kids used to shout at me 'you filthy wop' (Wop is a racial slur against people from Italy) And I certainly do look Mediterranean. And when growing up I used to take a lot of savage beatings from one of my junior class teachers. So you see Jay there are certainly far worse things that happen to people. Just realised how hard that was to even bring back those childhood memories.
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Almac, I just sent them a text. I politely explained to them that I don't like to be referred as a monkey or a gorilla because it's racist and rude. I told them that it hurts my feeling.
But I will follow your advice, Almac. Thanks.
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Jay I agree with your move, but please don't spend another minute of your precious time thinking about this..... Your are a lovely decent guy and that is all that matters.
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I definitely feel being pro-active towards this with your own friends is a great idea. In the words of the Specials, "If you have a racist friend, now is the time for your friendship to end."
I'm terribly sorry that you and Almac and anyone else in the world has to face this kind of behavior. It's simply disgusting how other people can be so hurtful for no reason. However, I feel if there is anywhere that you can discuss this and find sympathy it's probably on here with the gay community. We all face the ignorance and hatred of our fellow man for no good reason in some way or another, hence why we've been pushed to congregate here. Best of luck in your future endeavors and avoiding these kinds of situations.
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Gorilla
IT always reminds me of a saying I heard in AA/NA (drug recovery program).
Doing drugs is like having sex with a gorilla, you are not through until the gorilla is through with you....
BTW calling someone a monkey or an ape does not always mean they are being racist.
My third partner loved bananas, was built sort of like a gorilla (massive upper body), I called him gorilla, ape, monkey and various other primate names - there was nothing racist about it.
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Oh, well, are you certain that the gorilla/monkey thing was intended as a racist joke? For one, in my experience, that sort of epithet is usually directed at black people, not Asians.
Also, sometimes people do things without even thinking about it having a racial connotation. for instance, my sister took to calling her biracial daughter a monkey because she climbed and wiggled so much when she was little. I pointed out that some could read that as being racist, and she was shocked. She hadn't even thought of it. Also, once, one of the guys I work with was lecturing a bunch of kids on their behavior. I was trying to be quite and let him do his thing. Behind the two of us, was a basket of fruit so i absentmindedly started fooling around with it. Once he was finished lecturing the kids, I handed him the bunch of bananas that I was holding so he could put them back in the bowl. He was black and gave me this look like, you have to be kidding me. I turned BRIGHT RED and apologized while all the kids were laughing. It has to be one of the most humiliating experiences of my recent memory. And I would never intentionally insult him like that, as I have a tremendous amount of respect for that man and his work.
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I've never understood the use of racial epithets as humor. While humor can be trained out of certain idiosyncrasies which all societies and cultures and their respective sub-societies and sub-cultures show (still, there are no genuine racial psychologies, as such), the often, not only bland, but meaningless slurs thrown around seem to have nothing to them. They don't tickle my feet.
It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. ---- Woody Allen
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Gorilla
