I agree with everyone who said to use your instincts and your gut reaction but I also am kinda concerned about searching for info on him. I have a thing about privacy so for me personally I would be appalled to have someone tell me they investigated me and I would end it right there. I have tremendous respect for other people's privacy even when they insist otherwise and ask me to get something..I have never been in my lovers wallet or my friends purse nor do I ever read emails that are not mine because it bugs me to invade anyone's space...so it is just a personal issue of mine. I know alot of people like to do background checks and spy on their friends and lovers so there are definitely two schools of thought on the subject...it just isn't my thing.
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I don't know about you, East... but I guess I am both shocked and relieved that I just did an even more extensive search on this guy a few minutes ago.
I managed to come across an article that said he was convicted of stealing two cars... not just one, which he said he wasn't aware of it being stolen. The second car was actually stolen when he test drove a car at a dealership... he never returned with it... and it was found four days later crashed and abandoned. The car he drove to the dealership was actually the first stolen car.
I guess right now I feel like both an idiot and also a man of intelligence for testing out my intuition. He didn't share this information with me, and it also doesn't match up to what he initially said to me. I don't think it is safe for me to continue going out with him... I'm too freaked out by: the past history, the clinginess, the secrecy, and dishonesty.
I guess the safe thing for me to do now is to get tested. :eek:
I want to thank everyone for hearing me out on this whole issue. I needed a safe place to vent, and this has certainly been one. I was supposed to go out with him tonight. I will just either send him a simple- no can do text message, or not message him if he doesn't initially text or call me.
God Bless.
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Hello,
Firstly may I welcome you to this forum.... Hopefully your be enjoying your time here on gayspeak... Secondly onto your issue you have in life... l have had a thought and put myself in your shoes for a brief moment... I would say that his past he shouldnt be punished for if served already... By non violent crimes id imagen it was theft or something along that line.. I would suggest maybe laying down some ground rules that if his past catches him or he commits any crime you are unable to continue... Explain that you believe everyone deserves a chance as his done no harm to you you are willing to give this a go.. By all means be on your guard until you know him better but to be honest if his a changing man help him anyway you can to make him better. I have done bad things in my past i admit including stealing but i learnt it wasnt good. People around me gave me a second chance and ive repaid those i stole from.. Let him show his a changed man... On the otherside of the coin if you cant then politely tell him you feel there is too much at risk continuing this on and state your reasons why clearly... It wont be easy but it is true that its cruel to be kind
Kindest regards and best wishes
Zeon x
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Hey and welcome! I understand why this worries you. It would worry me too if someone held something from me. If it isnt that bad then he should be able to just tell you. I understand if hes embarrassed but it would make things much easier if he just told you. I wouldnt count him out just yet. Maybe once he gets to know you better he will be able to open up about his jail time.
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Found out new date has a dark past... advice
mile: The thing is when you ask for opinions they are hopefully going to be different opinions because otherwise we would just ask for people who agree with us to post...eh? I think if you feel you did the right thing then you did the right thing.
