@ Azulai: I agree that working that many hours a week may not be the healthiest. But it's the only way I knew how to stay distracted I guess. For a little over a year after he passed I fell into such a deep depression. I wouldn't eat, barely slept, never talked just cried and cried. Today I am a little better than that. I do volunteer and do drives and stuff for the community and outreach work. It does allow me to celebrate what we had together. I still don't know why I still hold on to him as tight as I do. And kinda with every rejection the hold gets firmer. I don't know what it is.
@ Fred: I have tried virtually everything and still nothing. I dunno maybe it's this state? I have no clue. That's one upside of vacation I get to explore new possibilities of moving for the better
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