I need some dating advice!!! Lost over this

[icanuc]

Hi everyone,

I am new to gay speak.

I have a problem with a guy I like and I know he likes me. We both seem to have excuses as to why we can't date. We see each other at the bar occassionally and we talk and maybe kiss a bit. Niether of us are drunk by any means. He keeps talking about how he will never have what I have and has on occassion mentioned he would like to get married. I on the other hand want to get to know him and date. I was married at one time and have children. He keeps saying he will never have that. We have short conversations and it seems he always shows up at the bar when I cant sit and have a GOOD conversation with him. We did however exchanged numbers and did text for about a day or two then it seemed I was sending texts and it soon became a one way conversation. He did answer with a very few words. He kept saying in his text to keep in touch. I wanted to meet him for supper but after sending him a text I got no reply. That was the last time I sent a text. His first text back to me when I asked if he would be interested in meeting sometime and going for lunch or just meeting to talk was ABSOLUTELY. I am now baffled as to what happened between there and now. I havent seen him as I have not been to the bar....and he is NOT a regular there either.

He is totally confusing me!! I cant say this is all his fault what so ever. I always seem to appear that I am not interested by giving him excuses that are actually ligit. I think sometimes he is too young and I had a very bad experience with a young man before him.... it has been 7 years now though!

I have not been in the dating scene in sometime. I am finding it tough!

Any help or suggestions would really help. :confused:

[LateBloomer]

I think you're getting played a little bit.

Believe me, I've been on the receiving end of some mixed signals lately.

But you seem to be honest with yourself (and us) by admitting you seem to be sending your own mixed signals.

The FACT is, he knows you're interested and knows how to get a hold of you. My opinion is, you should just tell him, "If you wanna go out, you know how to find me."

Well, be a little more diplomatic than that, but you get my gist.

Good luck, let us know how it goes.

[pellaz]

welcome to the forum

I think sometimes he is too young and I had a very bad experience with a young man before him.... it has been 7 years now though!

you might consider being more out about your age. I feel it matters, maybe it does in general. Is he out side 10years difference? All this since you had an issue way back.

I have not been in the dating scene in sometime. I am finding it tough!

Lots of fish around, toss this one into the friend bin. I just feel you are putting too much emphasis on this guy.

[icanuc]

Where I am from, there isnt much to date and I am looking for a relationship and not just some sex. As for putting him in the friends bin...have lots of them...I don't believe that will happen with him. I do in some respects feel he is playing me. I have also been there before.

This is a hard area to find anyone. I tried the websites to find someone there. No luck as most of them just want sex. I guess I am destined to be alone:frown:

[LateBloomer]

Where I am from, there isnt much to date and I am looking for a relationship and not just some sex. As for putting him in the friends bin...have lots of them...I don't believe that will happen with him. I do in some respects feel he is playing me. I have also been there before.

This is a hard area to find anyone. I tried the websites to find someone there. No luck as most of them just want sex. I guess I am destined to be alone:frown:

Whoa pardner, hold yer horses for one sec.



First, stop mixing YOUR signals.
Second, stop being so EASY for him to connect with you.

Give both of you some time and space (physical, psychological, etc).

Just be clear about what you want (bait the hook).
Then cast it out there (kick back, have a beer).
When he nibbles (maybe he will, maybe he won't) don't try to hook him real fast.
Leave your bait out there, nothing has changed. You're still interested.
If he swallows the hook, then you got him.

Just don't give up so soon.

[icanuc]

Ok I need to devise a better plan and STOP giving him the idea I am trying to push him away. After thinking more about this I think he may already be falling for me and I think we are maybe both scared! (well will see I guess) He may be sitting back himself not knowing what to do either.

He is sooo gorgeous, a good dresser a good worker and smart too.

Latebloomer thank you for the advice!

[LateBloomer]

Ok I need to devise a better plan and STOP giving him the idea I am trying to push him away. After thinking more about this I think he may already be falling for me and I think we are maybe both scared! (well will see I guess) He may be sitting back himself not knowing what to do either.

He is sooo gorgeous, a good dresser a good worker and smart too.

Latebloomer thank you for the advice!

I always say, take an interest in you OWN life because then you're more interesting to other people. We like to be around people who are squared away, with their own interests.

Live your life (Jesus, did I just say that? Inside joke, never mind...)

Like I said, don't give up, but get yourself squared away.

[cmj1985]

hey buddy hows your problrm goin just remember im here for you if you ever need to talk you know how to contact me

[icanuc]

Cmj1985 tx!