Are gays innate or acquired?

[stevenmai]

First off, I don't really know if innate and acquired are the appropriate word (coz my E is terrible), but what I mean is : Were we gay when we're born or were we affected by the environment as we grow up? My own view is most of gays are innate, but there certainly would have exceptions, like some people I knew from the other Chinese forum. I found out that I was gay when I was before 7, of course I didn't know what gay means then, I just noticed that only guys could turn me on, and sometimes I even wanted to hug or kiss them.
What do you think? And when and how did you find you were gay?

[cmj1985]

i would say we were born with it i grew up in an extreamly conservtive family and had no gay role modles or enviroment growing up but am still gay

[icanuc]

i would say we were born with it i grew up in an extreamly conservtive family and had no gay role modles or enviroment growing up but am still gay

I totally agree! Yes we were born this way. We can't help who we are. Attraction is really strange some times. I was attracted to men at an early age for sure. I would say I knew at about 13 or 14. But later on dated females trying to hide. I eventually married then later in life became unhappy, I couldn't overcome the desire to be with a man. I know therre are lots of gay men in a straight relationship...thing is they hide and cheat on there wives. I am also sure some women have a desire to marry gay men...that one I will never figure out!

[Robin]

I think it varies... I can't say personally... I mean I know I desired to be female when I was somewhere between 4 and 7... dressing in my sisters cloths and hiding it...knowing then that such was different.. that I was different... The first time I remember thinking about being with men was when I was around 11 I think...I remember day dreaming about being the "bitch" in prison...:redface: And I actually discovered anal satisfaction before phallic satisfaction :redface: (around that age...(on my own))

Thought for a while I wanted to be a woman... decided that was just a means of justifying my interest: for if a gay man was a women they could more freely pursue their interests I guess ...

Honestly... i think I i'm innately gay as f***k...

But I learned to like women by all the propaganda and peer pressure I was fed growing up...

[monk]

I think, maybe, a little of both - no-one seems to have the complete explanation.

The real problem comes when it's a case of identical twins, as has happened more than once. Genetically identical and brought up in the same environment but one is straight and one is gay.

Explain that! :confused:

[Almac]

Years ago mothers used to be blamed for their sons being gay and there's been different explanations over the years for being homosexual. It would take a real wise person to define why we are what we are?????

[Bowyn Aerrow]

With perfect 20/20 hindsight I can clearly see that I was gay going all the way back to my first thoughts that I can recall on life.

In those years, while I was living as 'straight' I was living in denial, which helped to blind me to many minor things that in an open and accepting world I would have clearly seen as my being homosexual.

However we do not live in a tolerant world, thus most of my gay tendencies I buried as deep as possible and its not until years later,after I did come out (24 years of age) and work through some other crap that I realize that I have been that way all along.

Peer pressure, society, religion, parents - all of these had a huge impact on my personal acceptance of my 'true self'.

[Zet]

I am pretty sure I am born as gay, but it still wouldn't explain some parts of my life.

When I think about my childhood have I always been a pretty odd person. I wasn't like most guys or even girls, think many just saw me as annoying. It wasn't until 12-13 I became ratter "Normal" when a new dude from Kiruna (Lappland, biggest and most northern province of Sweden) joined our class and became best buds. I began to hang in gang and such but I have always been the follower. I was sure I was straight at that time but I rarely spoke to women or had desires for them. As everyone, still today say check this girl out and I am not sure how to respond, as I might think she is pretty but nothing more. I obviously had desire for sex in my teens, but what I was attracted wasn't I sure of. It wasn't until at age of 16 I found my self masturbating to the men behind the women in porn. It took very long time for my to swallow the thought of that I might be gay, first cause I simply don't identify my self as it, I am not flamboyant, but also many I know is pretty Homophobic, including my best friend and brother.

I can not recall anything from my childhood or my family other ways that might have indicated me to become gay

[pellaz]

not enough is know about the science, current theory ( by smart peeps in the field ) suggests we are born that way so i accept it as a belief system.

with 11.1 billion people on the planet its a mute point that 3% of the population like it men on men.

[Kiid]

I think I was born a homo. I do think that people can turn gay over time and that sexuality is fluid same with gender.