Mother confessor hear my confession

[iPromise]

Okay, let me confess now. Firstly, let me tell you my experience thus far.

I met this great guy about two years ago, he's a psychology major, just like me, he has a plan for the future. We started out a friends only, but later on he confessed he had "feelings" for me and well all hell broke lose after that, a story for anyone interested another day.

He's the only guy I've ever truly love, fell flat for, why? Because he had a future, he had a plan, he was seeking out a great educational career.

I've met a few other gay guys during my time so far, but none was able to meet my expectations, none could have matched my love. I hated the fact that these gay guys I've met only was living in the moment, didn't care about school, about a proper education, and really didn't have a bigger picture plan for themselves. They were working at places you'd find high schoolers at (don't meant to insult anyone, I understand the hard times we're all facing), what upsets me is that they don't seek out more!

My experience so far with gay guys have made me discriminate against gay men who are not up to par with my love. Perhaps my only true love, he really left not only a scar on me, but an expectation that I'll forever look for in a guy.

Is that bad, terrible to discriminate agains guys who does not meet my expectations to have a proper life?

[Craig]

I would say you're not discriminating against other gays, you are just in love. When you're in love, there seems there is no one that can match what you have

[East]

I am not sure how you are using the term "discriminate"...so I will ask you..

Are you discriminating as far as looking for someone who you know you will be compatible with? If so...that is a GOOD type of discrimination....it is healthy.

If you are discriminating against them as people in general...best to find a way to accept them on some level for who they are. When you start judging these people as individuals as not being "up to par"...then you are being very unkind...to yourself. Everyone does it to some extent but it isn't pretty and it takes away from who you are...in my opinionmile:...and that is just my opinion.

[ceez]

I think this type of discrimination is ok and I have to confess that I was like those careless gay guys between 19 and 21 and I hate myself for it now. you could still be friends with other gay people but it can be a lot of work dating someone who doesn't have his life together.

my sister's boyfriend was working a minimum wage job with no place of his own or car and she put in work with him, now he's about to have an associates, has a car, they live together, and he's getting a better job. BUT, he's extremely immature and gives her a lot of crap, it just doesn't seem worth it to me.

[iPromise]

East it would be the good type of discriminating. But wouldn't you say there's guys out there who are really genuine and lovable but they just are lazy and don't have their life together? Like I couldn't stand a guy who works at the strip club or making minimum wage -.-'

Ceez, oddly enough those guys I've met are around that age. It's so sad to see, cause I wish I could help them, but it's so difficult to encourage someone who's not looking for encouragement.

[iPromise]

And Craig, that's my problem there doesn't seems to be anyone who can match what I have -.-' and I feel hopeless lol.

[East]

East it would be the good type of discriminating. But wouldn't you say there's guys out there who are really genuine and lovable but they just are lazy and don't have their life together? Like I couldn't stand a guy who works at the strip club or making minimum wage -.-'

Not having their life together? No problem...life is a work in progress.

...Lazy?...yeah...that would be a problem but first define lazy:biggrin:

Success is something each of us needs to define for ourselves. I have found that some of the richest people on the planet are the most unsuccessful human beings on the planet. I have also had many occasions where I had to decide if I wanted to trade my soul for some money which is how success is often measured,...and I choose my soul every time.

I would not mind a guy who made minimum wage...other things are more important to me but that is me. We are all different. I measure a person in different terms than you. The #1 thing for me...I used to drive with the person....it was a test. If they dart in and out of traffic and tailgate and speed too much...I think they do not have any consideration for other people's lives or basic safety and that is a turn off and I know we are incompatible. I know that will translate into my relationship with them and it would be a dealbreaker. I am personally not interested in money very much. I have enough of it to survive and I rely on myself for every cent I earn as I am self employed and it has worked out well for me.

[iPromise]

Well, I don't mean to insult anyone who makes minimum wage, nor was it my intentions to make it seems like it's all about money, of course not.

Maybe I haven't been meeting the right kind of people, maybe I've been exposed to only one side of the story, I do belief that not everyone is "lazy".

I don't know, maybe I'm now confusing myself lol.

Like I said above, every guy I meet which I think is bad, I compare to my one and only true love (who all hell broke lose with).

I can't seem to find anyone who has their priorities set straight for them.... maybe I need to start being more flexible.

I feel like I "discriminate" against gay guys because I've been exposed to most of the negative stuff instead of the good stuff. And by discriminate I mean they're just not up to standards to me in many aspects.

[Zet]

What about them who has not found what they want out of life when it comes to work?

[ZackT]

I think you just want someone who's got their life on track, doesn't matter if it's necessarily a man or a woman.

I mean the fact that you're curious and talking up this guy suggests you're wanting a man, but in the past you said that they're all basically floating through life without any sense of direction

Don't feel bad about that man, like these other dudes are saying...that's just looking out for something you want in a partner. Some people don't care if their partners have direction, but others definitely do. It makes sense to be attracted to something you admire and appreciate and to be repelled by something you don't want.

So go for it, if you dare. I dunno exactly how curious you are, but if this guy has what you think you're looking for, then by all means, give it a go and see how far you can take it (Possible double entendre)