If you wanted...

[blokeinsussex]

...to meet other gay guys outside of the pub/club/scene where would you go? I'm not talking about meeting for dating/sex but just socially.

I've still not made the step of coming out and am rapidly starting to think it might never happen. I mean it's been like 18 months since I accepted myself as gay and I've done squat about it other than chat online.

I've never been the most confident of people and I need to do something to kick start accepting who I am publicly so I can actually move forward and hopefully find someone to share my life with.

[iPromise]

hmmm I would suggest volunteering at an organization or join a gay social club or something. But I'm not sure if you'd like that?

[pellaz]

hmmm I would suggest volunteering at an organization ... I'm not sure if you'd like that?

I was going to suggest that same thing, volunteer to do front desk service at the local LBGT organization. You would get to meet you fair share of the local gay population.

[iPromise]

I'm hesitant on suggesting it cause well he's not out yet. And what if maybe someone he knows finds out he's volunteering at a LGBT organization? It could risk him. :/ I don't want that.

[blokeinsussex]

No no, these are exactly the kind of suggestions I'm looking for. I may not be out but that shouldn't stop me socialising with other gay guys.

I'm just not yet ready to take the step telling friends/family. By socialising with other guys I'd hope to increase my confidence and move forward.

[princealbertofb]

Yes BIS, and I believe it would boost your confidence no end... You'd finally know that it was high time you told people and felt less afraid of their reactions... Often these days, reactions are far less intimidating than we'd expect. Coming out is a big deal for us, I know that, but it's getting easier all the time, I think.

Anyway, I was going to suggest finding an activity that you enjoy doing or that you would enjoy doing, such as singing in a choir, a joining a drama group etc... which is where you'll meet people, gay and straight. It's actually easier to come out to someone you don't really know, because there are no expectations. You can practise on them.

At the same time, you'll be able to enjoy some real fellowship that has nothing to do with being gay or not.

Actually, iPromise's suggestion is a good one if you're ready to volunteer for a gay organisation; if not, join something like feeding the poor, or free library, or sports for all, or... (I'm making these up as I go...)
Good luck. Take care, Bloke.

[Almac]

[SIZE="3"][COLOR="DarkSlateBlue"]Whatever way you choose to meet that very special person I hope he's just one wonderful man...
[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[blokeinsussex]

Thanks Almac, I hope so too

[zeon]

Hello,
I have noticed your from sussex now i dont know how far away from brighton you are but why not book a weekend here BNBS are about £20/£25 per night and you could use the weekend to explore the gay community to build upon meeting new people... The bars are suited all occassions and interests and there are alot of other people here who you could mingle with and meet in them... This would help you accept who you are more and be abl;e to be more freely in yourself...

Kindest regards

zeon x

[mrk2010]

Yeah any club or bar should be fine, you can even find gay interest groups and make friends. I dunno I find the whole gay scene thing kind of abhorrent and sleazy. I personally don't go to any gay clubs on the rare occasion I do go out I prefer straight clubs. Even though the area I live in is quite nice and slightly upscale the gay pubs and clubs there have the feel of "my feet are sticking to the floor". To be honest I have found alot of gay men (who don't want to prowl for a one night stand) are going to straight clubs to avoid the whole scene. What ever works for you is best :-) I just find the gay scene a bit bleuuugghhh lol