Need support in Alabama

[emily]

I've just moved from a very large city in Indiana taht has a bustling gay community to a very tiny one in Alabama that is as homophobic as it comes. I have just recently accepted to myself that I am a lesbian and I'm feeling a great deal of stress about it and I frequently get depressed. I sometimes think about hurting myself, but I don't want to be included in that particular statistic, so I avoid it at all costs.

I just graduated college and I'm having a hard time finding a job that pays well enough for me to live on my own, so I am living with my dad, stepmom, and half sister. They are all very Catholic and I don't think they would be accepting at all. I came out to some friends and my brother when I was in high school, but nobody believed me (they all thought it was some sort of trendy phase), so I went right back into that closet I had just left.

I feel like I'd be better off if I could find some kind of LGBT outreach kind of thing in my area, but the only ones I've found are for people under 18. Apparently Alabama isn't the kind of place people are comfortable having those kinds of organizations in. I don't know what to do because I don't really have any friends here and I feel incredibly isolated.

I guess I just need some encouragement and helpful advice. I don't want to get kicked out and I don't want to lose the few friends I already have.

[HollandofFrance]

and i thought i had it bad

i left a post about book the liitle locksmith

[princealbertofb]

Well, good luck Emily. Try to stay with us for a while, it'll enable you at least to vent and dream... That's the best we can offer for the moment. Somehow it does seem that your solution would be to move back to Indiana. Is there any way you could further your studies and go back? Take another course, since jobs are not easily available in your area?

[Anosai]

Hey my hometown is in Mobile, Alabama and I'll be moving back there from Ft Hood here in a couple months. Gotta agree that Alabama's not one of the nicer places to be- if you want to get in touch I can PM you my email. Don't mind lending an ear and some time every now and then

[zeon]

hello and welcome to the forums anyhow x

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Hurting oneself never solves anything. Nor does anorexia/bulimia, drinking, drugs or other methods that may on the surface look like you are not hurting yourself but guess what - they are hurting oneself.

Good luck with the job. In case you haven't heard the economy has been on the down turn since at least 2007... My partner is now working at Target as a clerk/cashier/associate whatever they call the low guys on the totem pole.

That after slightly over two years being out of work after DHL slaughter, erm I mean, laid off tens of thousands here in America. Europe fared better.

Being self employed (General contractor, construction, whipping boy to the illiterate, undignified and cheap) I have been running in the red for quite some time.

In a word, the economy sucks. Unless you are in the sale of illicit drugs, that market not only has fared well, it has seen a vast increase of clients... all of which are real busy hurting themselves. :o

And police work has improved, increased too....

Those friends, the ones who will dump you for being a lesbian, I have some news for you, if they dump you for that they are not your friends. A real friend waits for you to steal their BF/GF before they dump you or some other hideous crime on par to that, they don't just decide that since you are part of the Rainbow Family you ain't worth being around.

Family - well you can't really pick those. Yes a few will kick you, out, down, when you are sleeping. Family doesn't have to play nice. So I can understand your feelings there.

Since Alabama is not working for you, how about exploring finding a job further afield? The coastal states East and West, southern coast not so much, are more liberal and often have LGBT communities all over the place along with programs for adults and all of that.

You must keep in mind that whatever situation you are in its only temporary. The only thing permanent is death, all things up to that point are flowing, temporary and relatively easy to change with enough time. I know it can be hard to keep that in mind when you are in a negative mood, but things do change, situations turn and new opportunities do arrive in strange packages and in quirky and not so quirky events.

[Person66]

I agree with Bowyn, please don't hurt yourself, that won't fix anything, it will only make things worse.

If I were you I'd try to move to a large city, where there is a thriving LGBT community. I didn't even know Indiana had large cities. But I understand that money is tight and you may be stuck where you are.

I'm so sorry you're in the situation that you are. If you want to talk feel free to private message me, or I'll give you my Email if you want. Hang in there and remember nothing in this world is permanent.

[matty7]

maybe in the small comunity u have it may be best to tell the rest of your family ... i know u may not agree but your brother knows etc, you havnt said they had a bad reaction to u been lesbian ,your parents would be a solid base for you trully - the thoughts of hurting yourself can be because you dont hanve an outlet for your pain ! your family will be if u just tell them , thats up to u though, but before ever doing anything speak here !!! youve found gayspeak and we will help if we can

[Jay]

Hi Emily, my advice is do not come out when you are hesitant and not ready. Always do consider few things before coming out such as the surrounding that you are living in. Be patient. As Princealbert said, stay with us for continuous support whilst you are living in Alabama.

Stay strong, Emily.