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advice please
#1
So my ex of 2years broke up with me 2months ago due to trust issues and his friends convincing him against me. A month later he says he wants to get back (we were on winter break), but when we got back he says he just wants to be single and stay friends. I could write a book as to what all happened in our past, but the main thing im wondering about now is... we were supposed to goto DC last weekend but then he ditched because he said he wasnt 100% comfortable and then he went to NYC with his friend and a kid who likes him. The night before he went to NYC we made new plans to go out to a coffee place this thursday. We have barely spoken over the weekend, and I'm not sure if he's had a change of heart whether to go out thursday. I want to ask him if he still wants to go, but if I ask him "are we still going" it may let him easily say "no". Im just confused as to if I should try and contact him over the next few days or see if he does. Thanks
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#2
I wouldn't.

If its me a break up, no matter how short they want to make it, is a break-up.

I don't do the whole 'kiss an old flame' thing. I look at it this way, if you have doubts about 'us' and have to leave to find out what you want, you are not really into the whole 'us' thing and there is never going to be anyway you can convince me that there is the potential for an 'us'.

Look, in your case you broke up, got back together, broke up again and now he can't stick with you long enough to go to DC. honestly, on what grounds do you rationalize all of this and how can you even consider that things will change?

If it was me, the message was made loud and clear when he picked NYC over DC. He went with the person he cares about most. Sorry, that isn't you.

Now I understand you have invested emotionally into this man, I understand that 2 years seems like a very long time to just 'throw it away' - it seems like a waste. It isn't a waste, its a valuable life lesson - at least one, perhaps many others are hidden in this unspoken past that happened that you just touched upon.

However you are young and there are indeed plenty of other men in the world. Men who are more mature and don't play these sorts of games, men who would go to DC with you over going to NYC with a friend.



budley12 Wrote:So my ex of 2years broke up with me 2months ago due to trust issues and his friends convincing him against me. A month later he says he wants to get back (we were on winter break), but when we got back he says he just wants to be single and stay friends. I could write a book as to what all happened in our past, but the main thing im wondering about now is... we were supposed to goto DC last weekend but then he ditched because he said he wasnt 100% comfortable and then he went to NYC with his friend and a kid who likes him. The night before he went to NYC we made new plans to go out to a coffee place this thursday. We have barely spoken over the weekend, and I'm not sure if he's had a change of heart whether to go out thursday. I want to ask him if he still wants to go, but if I ask him "are we still going" it may let him easily say "no". Im just confused as to if I should try and contact him over the next few days or see if he does. Thanks
Reply

#3
Its been my experiences that the second time around are no good, they never worked for me because it was broke off so something was not right in the first place so why would it be right in the second time around.

I say move on your young you will find a better one
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#4
Look forward , just like when your driving, if you keep looking in the revision mirror , you will only see where you have come from, and you will miss the view in front of you.
He is your ex for a reason sweetie.
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