I am in a dilemma

[indianajones]

Guys,

i need help...

The thing is, that i met this guy through of the dating sites 2 weeks back. We both knew that we were both looking for relationship.

I found the guy good and decent and we spent some time together. He seems to be a very sweet guy and very caring. But the problem is that he is little effeminate. Although i wasnt serious for him, we kept talking for a while after we first met. Meanwhile, he got emotionally attached to me, and so did i. I love him for his caring and decent attitude. And, i guess he is not one of those people who play around with people.

2 days back, i had called off the relationship as i thought that i wont be able to give my 100% to this relationship as the sexual attraction was missing. However, I could not help calling him and asking how he was feeling. He was apparently sad and i couldnt help myself getting carried away and had an emotional outburst. I restarted the things yesterday and we got back together.

Now, having done that, i am still feeling this void somewhere as i think i am not going to do justice to this relationship. I am emotinally attached to him but i am not sure if i can be sexually attracted to him. Although i feel for him, yet am not really getting that love feeling for him. All this while, i dont wanna hurt him too and respect his feelings too.
I have never been into such situation before. I dont know if i should carry on this relationship or just be straight to the guy and call it off to avoid hurting him in future as he seems to have developed genuine love for me...

Why do i think that i have somehow become emotionally sick now and get carried away too easily. I have got anxiety and depression issues what make me emotionally vulnerable.

What exactly am i supposed to do in this situation.

Please advise.

[monk]

Make the break quickly and get the pain over and done with. Stop prolonging the agony.

Seriously, it's never going to work, is it?

[indianajones]

I know its not to going to work as there is no sexual attraction involved as far as i am concerned. The only thing holding me back, is that the guy is extremely sweet and decent. But, on the other hand, i dont want to cheat him by being with half-heartedly. :confused:

[Jay]

Mate, have you met this lad face to face? It does sound you like have. Sorry, had to ask for confirmation and to sort out a tiny confusion.

I think you have two choices.

Play wait and see where this relationship will go. Certain relationships will only bloom after a while.

Or

Let him go. I know it's hard but it's better now than later. It will be difficult for both of you if you delay the break up.

Keep us updated and good luck!

[LateBloomer]

Two weeks is nothing in the larger picture.

It doesn't have to be a full blown committed relationship or NOTHING.

Pick a middle ground. Just agree to take things slow. See each other once a week for something fun. Over time, you'll either grow more attracted to him physically or you won't but in the meantime you can date other people and maybe find someone more attractive to you.

[indianajones]

Well, i am going to w8 for sumtym bfore i decide finally as i want to b very sure this tym and dont wana backtrack on my words. but trust me i m neva gonna repeat ths situation ever. i wud nt even start the things if i am doubtful...

[Rainbowmum]

There is a reason your ex is your ex.

If things did not work during the honeymoon period of your relationship,( When neither of you can keep there hands to yourself.) it is highly doubtful that things will change.

Forcing your self to live a lie , is cruel to both of you.

[indianajones]

I guess you are right rainbowmum. I am soon going to take this big decision as there is no point in dragging on the things. Its better to call off the things now than later as it might not be easier then.

Thanks guys for all your advice. I love this community and the sense of solidarity that we all share here.

[dfiant]

I can't add anything else that Jay and Mum have already said. Good luck.

[indianajones]

Thanks Dfiant...

I am goint to do it today....and get this burden off my chest..