Complete Life Make Over

[mrk2010]

There's no way I can break perfectionism. Atleast there's something to aim for.

[Jay]

There's no way I can break perfectionism. Atleast there's something to aim for.

I don't aim for perfection but I always give my best in everything I do.

The biggest flaw in perfectionism is when you fall, you will fall hard. You will blame and critic yourself for your failure to fulfill perfectionism.

I know this because I was quite a perfectionist too. I used to rip myself apart after a project that I designed and produced didn't turn out as great as I expected due to unavoidable factors. My client then asked, "Did you give your best when you designed the project?"

I said yes.

"And that what matters. You gave your best effort in a limited time and I'm happy with the result. So you shouldn't feel bad for it." He replied.

You can break perfectionism. It's a choice. You can still aim to be the best without being perfect.

[zeon]

hello Mister Kay,
I think you should be setting yourself goals a weight you would be happy with... I used to eat like a horse when I was younger and i ballooned and figured its time to actually shed so i manage to drop to 13 stone and now ive lost more weight thanks to some anti botic tablets my body didnt agree with but now im 12 stone and kind of happy in it... Being realistic you need to ask yourself whether your skeletal structure is heavy boned... If so bear in mind your in the same boat as me... Your not going to reach the looks of the models on the magazines babes as it wouldnt look right... I am not talking as a critising thing but as a share of knowledge perspective... The good thing with having a build like this is its easier and quicker to obtain things at the gym than it would be for someone who was dead skinny...
After solving your weight issue and fgiguring out where you want to be i guess you could move onto appearance and see if there is anythihng you can do.... In my own goals as a knowledge sharing experience i never gave myself 10/10 because if i did it would show that there is no room for improvement so to always keep a window of oppetunity open for ideas why not give yourself a 9/10 as a high factor on some aspects and think how can i improve on myself?? I am always wanting to improve on myself and my biggest life changing experience for me is fighting to give up smoking and be smoke free... Break away from the fags and live life for me the way i was in my teens!

Kindest regards and good luck babes

Zeon xx

[mrk2010]

hello Mister Kay,
I think you should be setting yourself goals a weight you would be happy with... I used to eat like a horse when I was younger and i ballooned and figured its time to actually shed so i manage to drop to 13 stone and now ive lost more weight thanks to some anti botic tablets my body didnt agree with but now im 12 stone and kind of happy in it... Being realistic you need to ask yourself whether your skeletal structure is heavy boned... If so bear in mind your in the same boat as me... Your not going to reach the looks of the models on the magazines babes as it wouldnt look right... I am not talking as a critising thing but as a share of knowledge perspective... The good thing with having a build like this is its easier and quicker to obtain things at the gym than it would be for someone who was dead skinny...
After solving your weight issue and fgiguring out where you want to be i guess you could move onto appearance and see if there is anythihng you can do.... In my own goals as a knowledge sharing experience i never gave myself 10/10 because if i did it would show that there is no room for improvement so to always keep a window of oppetunity open for ideas why not give yourself a 9/10 as a high factor on some aspects and think how can i improve on myself?? I am always wanting to improve on myself and my biggest life changing experience for me is fighting to give up smoking and be smoke free... Break away from the fags and live life for me the way i was in my teens!

Kindest regards and good luck babes

Zeon xx

Well a surprise I'm actually about 15 stone I'm aiming for about 10, basically I even went to the doctors and he said it may be very hard with my height and build as I am quite tall and broadly built but I'm gonna prove him wrong. I would say I have a weight issue I eat normally and exercise regularly and im healthy, I just want to shift even more, even if it's hard. If its gonna take me eating only 1300 calories a day and running every day a mile or two so be it. As for changing my appearance the teeth whitening is going brilliant in such a short time they fe gotten so much brighter. While I'm sorting out one issue I might as well fix the others. I know it's sad to say but looks matter, they matter a lot, personality and intelligence can only get you so far in this life. Looks shouldn't matter but they do and only by changing myself am I going to actually get anywhere and be able to attract a nice guy. At the end of the day I'm still going to be the same person I'm not going to turn bitchy over night and criticise people for the way they look. I'm just sick of looking in the mirror and thinking you ugly get, you can do so much better.

[SweetSerenade]

Well good job on the things that you're working on and that are in the works. Wanting self improvement is ok but you also have to find a way to unconditionally love yourself to help stay positive. I know it is easier said than done but I am dealing with a lot of the same issues you are too at the moment and I am trying to come to terms with my so called flaws and love the person I am in this moment anyways while I keep striving to better myself. So keep it up and know that I'm rooting for you and relate to your struggle. We can do it, we just have to stay with it and not overwhelm our selves by doing too much all at once. Just keep your goals in sight and work at it in a healthy fashion mile:.

[mrk2010]

I think in some ways I am unrealistic but I feel that only being this way I'll get anything done.

[Gizzie]

I think its good that you want to change and meet people etc.
I understand that changing your looks is one of the easiest ways to attain that. I know so, because I went through it myself. I had minor surgery on my eye lids to give it a double fold (I had sleepy looking Asian eyes, did LASIK and lost my glasses, had moles removed from my face, and had a super expensive hair artist do my hair. And by gosh it made one hell of a difference.
I don’t think it was necessary, but the self confidence that came with it, my new interest in fashion, and just the way people treated me different made me feel better about myself, and I became more out going and confident.

But at the same time, I do feel that your perfectionism is making you too fixated on the “looks” department of the life make over project.

As with any good and effective projects, you need multiple approaches so it creates synergy. And as many people have already suggested, you need to work on your self esteem, you may also want to try opening up and not being so shy.
Improving your looks 100% may not bring about as big a change as the result of a synergy from changing your looks 65%, improving your self esteem by 70%, over coming shyness by 70%.

Just a suggestion.

Anyhow, good luck!

[mrk2010]

I think its good that you want to change and meet people etc.
I understand that changing your looks is one of the easiest ways to attain that. I know so, because I went through it myself. I had minor surgery on my eye lids to give it a double fold (I had sleepy looking Asian eyes, did LASIK and lost my glasses, had moles removed from my face, and had a super expensive hair artist do my hair. And by gosh it made one hell of a difference.
I don’t think it was necessary, but the self confidence that came with it, my new interest in fashion, and just the way people treated me different made me feel better about myself, and I became more out going and confident.

But at the same time, I do feel that your perfectionism is making you too fixated on the “looks” department of the life make over project.

As with any good and effective projects, you need multiple approaches so it creates synergy. And as many people have already suggested, you need to work on your self esteem, you may also want to try opening up and not being so shy.
Improving your looks 100% may not bring about as big a change as the result of a synergy from changing your looks 65%, improving your self esteem by 70%, over coming shyness by 70%.

Just a suggestion.

Anyhow, good luck!

Well so far it's going well, my teeth are looking really good after a small time and the diet I'm following is going well, I lost like 3 pounds last week. Tbh I'm not fat I just want to change more lol. Getting my hair cut next week ginna change it up a bit :-)

[indianajones]

GOD knows why we are all so fixated on looks. well, you are right in saying if u look good, ur self esteem improves. i had weight issue for a long until i tookthe decision to lose weight and look better.Trust me, although i have always been very confident about all aspects about myself, but it gives me so much pleasure when i look myself in the mirror now. Exercising not only helps u to lose weight, it is a great stress bustor. I feel so great that i always stick to my fitness regime which i always struggled with so far.