Does he like me or is he just messing around?

[randomguy]

I met this guy online. Through a game I play, not through a dating site or anything. Anyway he calls himself straight and has dated a couple girls.

We got to know each other pretty well just from chatting and eventually texting and I developed a huge crush on him. I eventually told him (a bit jokingly) that I had the crush, and he said something like "wow youre a fag lol" and went offline. Feeling terrible, I left him a message confiming that I had the crush and offering to leave and never talk to him again. The next day he tells me he doesn't care and not to quit.

Anyway after that for the past couple weeks we have been sending each other a lot of smiley/flirty texts. Like texting several hundred times a day. Lots of smilies - sometimes we text back and forth nothing but smilies over and over again.

He knows I like him but when I hint for him to tell me whether he likes me he always says something about how "he's been thinking about his ex a lot".

Then some days he'll barely text me at all and the go back to doing it a couple days later.

This is driving me nuts!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I'm sorry, my crystal ball is broken.

I dropped it a few months ago answering a similar 'Is he/is he not?' type question. The damn thing just slipped out of my hand and hit the floor - that's all she wrote.

I could try divining through the Cards... But I'm just too tired to run out to the 24 hour occult book store to get a pack or Tarot.

Tea leaves, but then you need to come here and drink some tea.

What I could do is jump the fence, steal one of my neighbor's chickens, gut it while alive and read its warm entrails - there is about 80% success rate in a decent reading through this method. I just worry that my neighbor may wake up and put buck shot in my butt though.

I really wish there was an easy way to figure out what was on people's minds. I don't know - maybe we can have a way to say something - like ask them a question or two about their feelings and ideas?


You know this question you are asking is asked so many times on this board (and elsewhere) and it always boils back down to people telling others 'Just talk to them.'

Meaning no one can really know what is going on through his head except him, so you should be asking him what he thinks, feels, whatever. That is the only definitive way to know.

What is the worse he can do? Say he is pulling your leg and dropping you off his buddy list on the game? Or is he going to hunt you down and kill you if you ask?

Yes rejection hurts - but that is what rejection is all about. And the pain of rejection from getting a straight forward answer is far, far easier than playing this mind game you are playing where you are wondering and trying to read between the lines.

[Nick9]

I guess he is just playing. It doesn't mean he wants to be nasty and hurt you. Maybe he is flattered that you like him, it's new for him, he enjoys it, but at the same time he knows that playing with fire is safe, because he won't burn HIS fingers.
But honestly, I wouldn't mind and try to keep it on friendly level. If he makes you smile, what can be wrong with that?
I was told that some have crush on priests - just because "it's not gonna happen." Maybe he feels a bit similar.

But from what you have told us, I don't think he means any harm and he I think he wants to be a friend with you. Just don't fall in love.

[randomguy]

Thanks for the replies!

I guess I realize that there is no way for anyone to know for sure. Maybe I just needed to talk about this with other people instead if having it run through my head over and over.

Bowyn: I fell like I have "just talked to him". I've told him I had feelings for him several times and tried to hint many times for him to tell me whether or not he does. But I usually get ambiguous responses.

Nick: I lean towards agreeing with you as well. But it's hard for me to keep it on a friendly level! I am a very emotional guy, and my feelings toward him are out of control.

I feel like as long as I am not sure one way or another, it's going to continue to drive me nuts.

[pellaz]

he told you he is straight... enjoy him as a straight friend. With the gay population like 3-8% it is unlikely he is gay.

[matty7]

didnt know those stats Pellaz ,,,, but hundreds of texts per day cant be ignored !!!! thats extreme really - if he was straight but excepting to gay guys he would prob reply to urs no prob = but there goin back n forth - im goin for interested , not saying bi but he is inquisetive for sure

[pellaz]

dont the 3% numbers make sense too?
i think it would be frustrating to randomguy to say hang in there till the friend finds himself... in the closet.

[randomguy]

Ok well thanks for the support. I made a more bold inquiry that he basically had to respond to, and he very kindly rejected me. Disappointing to be sure, but good to know that I wont be hung up on something that was never there! He is a good friend and now I will be able to see him clearly as that.

Now to continue the frustrating search to find someone...

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Thanks for the replies!

I guess I realize that there is no way for anyone to know for sure. Maybe I just needed to talk about this with other people instead if having it run through my head over and over.

Bowyn: I fell like I have "just talked to him". I've told him I had feelings for him several times and tried to hint many times for him to tell me whether or not he does. But I usually get ambiguous responses.

You are hinting, dropping a hint - whatever. Come right out and ask a point blank question, more points if it can only be answered yes or no.

[Nick9]

He is a good friend and now I will be able to see him clearly as that.

I am glad you still have him as a friend.

Now to continue the frustrating search to find someone...

*sigh* I am not sure if "frustrating search" is the best option, but good luck!