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Advice on approaching a guy I'm interested in?
#1
So I know this question is probably absolutely beat to death on here, but hear me out? I'm a 16 year old gay guy who's been in a couple of small relationships but never anything serious, so I have absolutely zero experience or know-how when it comes to trying to get to know people. Anyways, I play in a band and go to a lot of local shows at all ages venues, so I guess you could say I'm part of that "scene", and the past couple of times I've been around I've noticed this guy who was "my type" who plays in another local teen band. We've done a show or two with them and have gotten to know them from a distance, and I'm familiar with his whole friend group through the "scene", so I feel safe to say that I've been around him enough times to at least get a basic gauge for him as a person, so this isn't JUST a physical attraction.

What I wanted advice on is this: Although I know him vaguely and his group of friends, me and my friends rarely ever cross paths with them simply because there's still this awkward social barrier there, and as such I have no feasible to just go up and start talking to him, having never directly had a conversation with him before. And I'm totally aware that every probability out there would point to the likelihood that he's straight, but it IS a very progressive and liberal "scene" (I live in the Pacific Northwest) and there is an extremely disproportionately large number of LBGT identifying people who come to these shows and hang out, and I just feel struck by him in that I really want to get to know him better, even if it's just as a friend (but fingers crossed as more o' course Wink ). So, I've come to ask you, how do I not awkward? Maybe it's really a simple process and I'm just not used to it, but how do I break that ice to the point where I can start talking to him or even work up the nerve to approach him in the first place? And once having made that initial connection, how do I go about exploring any sort of possibility that he might not be straight? Should I be very casual about the fact that I'm gay and all of that?
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#2
Lets say you were not interested in him as a possible love interest, but just as a friend. What would you do in that case?

You two have one common interest, this music stuff. Why not start by striking up a conversation about this music event/stuff the next time you see him?

The worst he will do is shout 'Leave me alone' and then run crying like a baby... that is more embarrassing for him than you I imagine. I seriously doubt he will not answer a few easy questions dealing with this band playing thing you all do.

The rest will iron itself out if there is a rest. If there is a connection as potential friends, he will work with you to build a friendship. If there is more there, he will work with you on that.

I think you are over complicating this and making it much harder than it needs to be. aim lower than lovers - say acquaintances, then work from there.
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#3
welcome to gays speak
basically there is a one in twenty chance he is gay but whatever. look up his fb page. gay or straight you work to become his friend. just acknowledge him in the room and he might do the same.
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#4
Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:You two have one common interest, this music stuff. Why not start by striking up a conversation about this music event/stuff the next time you see him?

Thanks for the advice, haha, yeah I'd imagine not a whole lot could feasibly go terribly wrong, right? This was actually really helpful, I guess I'm probably overcomplicating the process of getting to know him simply due to infatuation or whatever, so I'll try to reel it in a little, haha
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#5
I guess the other thing I was really wondering was, after getting to know him a bit and becoming a part of his friend group, would it be awkward or uncalled for or whatever to just straight up tell him I thought he was hot, or would that be a reasonable thing to do?
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