Am I overthinking?

[aethe]

Okay, I met a guy 2 months ago. In the entire month, I only seen him twice. We talked only twice due to the fact that when we hang out we're always dragged away by other people. However, he was always the one who initiate the convo. Anyways, a week ago, he added me on Facebook. He started liking some photo of mine, and liked a post of mine that I deleted straight away (because I realized it was really juvenile and lame). It was then that I feel like he was interested on me, and things just gets confusing from here on.

We talked the next day on facebook to 3am... And we talked a bit the following day till the big hangout on Thursday. Basically, on Thursday, we were just sticking together the whole time and chatting with each other (btw, he's friends with everyone in the group). Then at a certain place, everyone was sitting at one side of the table leaving me to sit on the other side. He just came and sat with me even though he was sitting on the other side first, which I thought was pretty sweet. Then when I moved to the other side, he followed me. Anyway, after that, the group wanted to go dinner but I wanted to go home, so I told him I'm just going to leave now. He then told me he wants to leave as well which surprised me a little because I remember him saying he wanted to eat with the group (in the beginning before the event). I asked him why, and he said he wants to go home early, and I was like okay.

Then when we left the group, but instead of going home, we went to a simple fast food outlet and talked for 2 hours about each other's history. I then asked him I thought you need to go home early, and he smiled and told me he doesn't have a curfew, and that the reason he left was because he doesn't like 1 person in the group. I was ok... He also asked me to hangout with him on Tuesday for an event. Then we finally decided to go home because it WAS getting really late, so I took him to his station, and then he asked for a goodbye hug, and we hugged. Then we chatted again after we got home.

Anyway, am I over thinking this? Is he actually interested in me or is he just extremely nice. There's just so many things like: talking to 3am, liking a post that I deleted after posting for 1 min, sticking with me the entire time of the hangout, leaving with me, chatting for 2 hours, the hug, etc...

[Letmar]

Hi Aethe!

well well well, this is indeed confusing... you are clearly taken by this lad, aren't you..?
My best advice is the hardest one to do... trust me, been there, done that, got the t-shirt, HOWEVER... still can't do it myself! but you might be able to pull it off, so here goes it:

chill out man, enjoy the attention you are getting, take a step back and observe the friendship forming, don't fish for extras... because if there aren't any, you won't be able to appreciate this for what it is...

so what if he happens to be one of the rare straight men that are ultra confortable with gay guys... or maybe not with gay guys in general, but with you... would you hate having him as a right down friend?

I know you probably wanted us to give you a clear answer i.e. its either this or that... truth is, nobody can tell, only he can...

my point is, if he is interested in you the way you want him to be, eventually he will make his move... and if he isn't, well, he won't make any move at all... it sucks, I KNOW! but that is how life works... you can only be sure of how you feel and that is that.

Again, please enjoy the time you two are spending together, learn more about him, share more about you with him... for all you know, he could become a legendary friend for life... and you don't wanna miss on such an important thing only because you are slightly confused.

[aethe]

Thank you, and yes... I'm really interested in him as well. I guess I'm okay if it's just friend, just hope it'll be more. Oh well.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Yes, you are overthinking.

Chill, go with the flow, be friends first and see where the romance does, or doesn't take you.

If he sees you as being too pushy/needy/clingy after just a few hours, you will have him running for the hills in no time

ObW
X

[aethe]

Yes, you are overthinking.

Chill, go with the flow, be friends first and see where the romance does, or doesn't take you.

If he sees you as being too pushy/needy/clingy after just a few hours, you will have him running for the hills in no time

ObW
X

Yeah, you're right. It's not easy but I'll manage.

[ChadCoxRox]

Maybe he's making sure he does not go too far too fast and giving you the opportunity to make a move. With all that and no effort to kiss? hmmmmm I might could see how one might think a bit, but it is very easy to over think it as a distraction from the failure to take that risk and kiss that mouth!

Best wishes with your efforts!




I returned to edit my post to state a simple effort to touch or take his hand may very well be enough to remedy the overthinking. It doesn't have to be so bold as an innocent kiss.

[aethe]

Maybe he's making sure he does not go too far too fast and giving you the opportunity to make a move. With all that and no effort to kiss? hmmmmm I might could see how one might think a bit, but it is very easy to over think it as a distraction from the failure to take that risk and kiss that mouth!

Best wishes with your efforts!




I returned to edit my post to state a simple effort to touch or take his hand may very well be enough to remedy the overthinking. It doesn't have to be so bold as an innocent kiss.

The closest thing was a hug outside in public. Hmm... Lol

[Bowyn Aerrow]

He is fond of you/attracted but most likely is taking it slowly so as to not appear to be a sex fiend or something.

One sad fact about the gay scene is its nearly always a rush to get to the sex bits, and then all of the casual sex hook-ups and all of that - its really hard to find a balance of romance that says 'I'm interested in you for the long haul' and not do/say something that may accidentally trigger a casual sex incident or thought that 'all you want is sex'.

I think at this point it would be fair to ask him point blank what is going on here. Ultimately only he knows his motives and end goal.

[ChadCoxRox]

The closest thing was a hug outside in public. Hmm... Lol

Shame.

[aethe]

Well, it appears I was over thinking. He's more friendly to other people than me so... To be honest, I'm kinda sad. I really wish something more could happen. God I'm so stupid. I actually thought things this time would be different. I actually thought someone finally likes me...