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Best Friend to More Then to Gone
#1
I had a best friend who I had met through one of my mom's friends. We had clicked from the start and were stuck to each other like glue. Eventually we took our friendship a step further and both threw our virginity out the door. From then on we'd always do these things when I spent the night with him. Hell, we even slept in the same bed for the years we'd have sex. He moved in with me due to his mom and dad fighting. And in that time we still slept in the same bed. In our third year together he worked up the nerve to kiss me. That night began our true relationship which had went on for one year. At the end of that year his mom got a divorce and decided to move to Ohio. I couldn't believe it, for four years the boy who had been my best friend and lover had to leave. Not out of his own will but out of force. I lost him for awhile until I got to see him one last time when my mom and I had visited. That last night we did what we had always done. After we talked and he wanted to come back to where he used to live and secretly no matter how selfish I wanted him back to. In the morning he woke up and we decide to do it one last time before I had to leave. But in the middle of th eact we were caught by my mom. That was the hardest thing ever to explain to her and especially when you have your pants around your ankles. That pretty much sealed the deal right there and I knew I'd never see him again but at the end of it all I still got my goodbye kiss. The thing with this is I don't know how to get over him completely since I always have nightmere's about him. And how do I ever love my mom again when she did that? All I feel for her is emptiness. I just need advice on this considering it kills me. So please help. And sorry it turned out to be that long. Thanks.:confused:
#2
Well, first off.
Do you ever think/believe you could possibly see him again?
I mean, you're only 16...When you turn 18, your mother can't exactly dictate who you can see.
He might be out of state but, my first boyfriend who I had for 5 years were never in the same state.
We would text each other and call.
We also would do other stuff...But I won't say what.

If there is absolutely no way at all you think you could ever be with him again.
There is no harm in not getting over him...I'm still not over my first lol.

As for your mom...
I can't really tell you how you could ever love her again, but understand that anyone who walked into the room with their son/daughter with clothes off, parents react and attempt to fix the situation by never letting them see the other person again.
#3
Loveontherocks, you ask the question

Quote:how do I ever love my mom again when she did that?

What exactly did she do besides walk in on you during an intimate moment?
#4
LoveOnTheRocks Wrote:... That was the hardest thing ever to explain to her and especially when you have your pants around your ankles. That pretty much sealed the deal right there and I knew I'd never see him again but at the end of it all I still got my goodbye kiss. The thing with this is I don't know how to get over him completely since I always have nightmere's about him. And how do I ever love my mom again when she did that? All I feel for her is emptiness. I just need advice on this considering it kills me. So please help. And sorry it turned out to be that long. Thanks.:confused:
-you are gay and you will always look for the boys, straight boys look for the ladies. Or what ever your sex preference is. Would the "explanation" be easier if your were straight with a girl? Straight bi or gay tell her its not going to change. Tell her you are still the same person and love her very much. I dont see how you could say all this in the act with your pants down. Setup a calmer time and talk to your mother. No threats, just an understanding between you two; what are the rules for bringing a date home gay or straight? Your are 16 and should be dating, hope it would not have to be on the down lo.

-not a lot of information in your post but call text your bf back and apologize the situation. Set up a proper date with him along the lies of the house rules and get on with your lives where it left off.
#5
LoveOnTheRocks Wrote:I had a best friend who I had met through one of my mom's friends. We had clicked from the start and were stuck to each other like glue. Eventually we took our friendship a step further and both threw our virginity out the door. From then on we'd always do these things when I spent the night with him. Hell, we even slept in the same bed for the years we'd have sex. He moved in with me due to his mom and dad fighting. And in that time we still slept in the same bed. In our third year together he worked up the nerve to kiss me. That night began our true relationship which had went on for one year. At the end of that year his mom got a divorce and decided to move to Ohio. I couldn't believe it, for four years the boy who had been my best friend and lover had to leave. Not out of his own will but out of force. I lost him for awhile until I got to see him one last time when my mom and I had visited. That last night we did what we had always done. After we talked and he wanted to come back to where he used to live and secretly no matter how selfish I wanted him back to. In the morning he woke up and we decide to do it one last time before I had to leave. But in the middle of th eact we were caught by my mom. That was the hardest thing ever to explain to her and especially when you have your pants around your ankles. That pretty much sealed the deal right there and I knew I'd never see him again but at the end of it all I still got my goodbye kiss. The thing with this is I don't know how to get over him completely since I always have nightmere's about him. And how do I ever love my mom again when she did that? All I feel for her is emptiness. I just need advice on this considering it kills me. So please help. And sorry it turned out to be that long. Thanks.:confused:

You are HURT! It will take time to heal and you will remember that pain albeit less and less for the rest of your life. Your mom didn't do anything except invade your privacy and witness the result of her own disrespect. You don't owe her anything but your understanding of her is hindered by your hurt and loss. STOP worrying about mom and let time do it's thing. Focus on the precious, sweet memory of the connection you have with a soul that will last forever! Despite the hurt and loss, you've gained something that is very valuable and worth more attention than hurt and pain...that is the friend who you are so close to even though he is no where near you physically anymore. Use that love and sweet memory as a reason to make the most of your own life in preparing to be a man and an adult! You'll find a way to reconnect with him one day and it will probably be very different from anything you might wish for or expect. That is not important. What IS important is you taking the chance to make as much good out of your love and loss as possible instead of allowing it to be an excuse to wallow in self pity and resentment. Your story is so bittersweet. You prove you have so much to offer a friend and lover! Stay positive as much as you can and the pain will blossom into true value one day! Remybussi
Heart  Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!  Heart
#6
thanks for the help you guys.Confusedmile: Just to get some points across that I should have, He's gone from my life has been for two years even when I tried to make contact I never could. I just need to get over the nightmere's with him in them. As for my mom she's known I was gay before I even knew, mother's intuition I guess. I just can't look at her the same when she did that. Well thanks again for the help, genuinely.:biggrin:
#7
Quote: I just can't look at her the same when she did that.

What did she do? I still don't understand.

Quote:He's gone from my life has been for two years even when I tried to make contact I never could.

And what was stopping you?

I'm not being picky, but your messages are cryptic and ambiguous, if you could be a little clearer on everything you would have 10 times the replies and much much better advice for your situation.
#8
Find something to do that will distract you from thinking about it. Trust me, first love is the hardest to get over with. It'll take years and you probably still won't be able to get over completely.

Also, remember, everybody's changing. He might be a lot different than 2 years ago. What is lost, is lost. It's more realistic to move on and meet new people. The world is a big place.
My advice to you is to live in the present and plan for the future. Continue dating. Find someone better than him and keep him if you can. Hey, who knows? Serendipity might surprise you one day Confusedmile:


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