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Cheated
#1
I broke up with my boyfriend last Saturday because he cheated on me. I wasn't totally mad i just didn't want to date him any longer. We keep talking and last night he kept implying that he still loved me, i thought we were both over this. We had sex last night and he wants to get back with me but i just don't know if i can be with him after he cheated, he tried to say he was drunk but that's not an excuse. I don't really know what to do, i still like him but it may be harder to be with him then without.
#2
sounds like you know what to do already. i agree with you. being drunk is no excuse if your in a monogamous relationship. i know. i have been the one that cheated on my other. but on the other point, if you really love him, he can be forgiven. the road to rebuild trust will be a long one.
#3
Well at least you didn't have 10+ years committed here, you two living together, with everything owned by 'Us' thus making for a horrendous 'divorce'.

Betrayal of trust is one of the more difficult of emotions to get 'over', most of us think we are over it, but discover that in reality its always there, affecting every part of the relationship.

You are most likely right, this would make it too hard to stay together, you will never be 100% certain he is being honest/trustworthy. Trust me, you do not want to be in a relationship where you are constantly second guessing what he says is 'truth'.
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[SIZE=4]I told you I had the body of a 25 year old....

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#4
I don't promise fidelity to anyone which is odd because I have been faithful for 25 years to the same man..and happily so...the irony is funny to me when I see so many of my friends around me desperately trying to control everything...things they cannot control...and doing the same thing over and over with the same results. . I also dont' ask for fidelity because I don't make promises I am not 100% positive I can keep...giving my word to someone is a HUGE deal for me and I keep my word... nor do I want anyone making any promises to me that they cannot keep and I don't think fidelity is a promise anyone should make with 100% certainty...at least not in my world. Fidelity is negotiable...honesty is NOT.

For me...the lie is the worst part so my question to you would be...was he truthful about it? Did he tell you? It would make all the difference for me but you have to do what is right for you.
#5
East Wrote:I don't promise fidelity to anyone which is odd because I have been faithful for 25 years to the same man..and happily so...the irony is funny to me when I see so many of my friends around me desperately trying to control everything...things they cannot control...and doing the same thing over and over with the same results. . I also dont' ask for fidelity because I don't make promises I am not 100% positive I can keep...giving my word to someone is a HUGE deal for me and I keep my word... nor do I want anyone making any promises to me that they cannot keep and I don't think fidelity is a promise anyone should make with 100% certainty...at least not in my world. Fidelity is negotiable...honesty is NOT.

For me...the lie is the worst part so my question to you would be...was he truthful about it? Did he tell you? It would make all the difference for me but you have to do what is right for you.

Honestly, is it that hard to be monogamous with someone? It's not as huge a deal as you make it seem to be. Just don't fuck anyone else. It's simple.
#6
undercoverforev Wrote:Honestly, is it that hard to be monogamous with someone? It's not as huge a deal as you make it seem to be. Just don't fuck anyone else. It's simple.

Yeah...and how many people who promise monogamy CHEAT? Are you too dense to understand that I prefer not to make promises I dont' know if I can keep...and are you too dense to understand the irony in the fact that I have never promised monogamy YET I have actually been monogamous. Go figure. It's Simple!
#7
East Wrote:Yeah...and how many people who promise monogamy CHEAT? Are you too dense to understand that I prefer not to make promises I dont' know if I can keep...and are you too dense to understand the irony in the fact that I have never promised monogamy YET I have actually been monogamous. Go figure. It's Simple!

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to quote and direct this fiery comment at you. I meant it in general - including the people you mention in your comment. Cry
#8
undercoverforev Wrote:I'm sorry, I didn't mean to quote and direct this fiery comment at you. I meant it in general - including the people you mention in your comment. Cry

I am sorry I responded to you in such a manner as well.....I think when you said "It's simple" I reacted because I think human sexuality and relationships are extremely complex. I am open to accepting and understanding and experiencing alot of different things in life and in my relationship...having sex with someone else is not a deal breaker for me...lying about it is. I prefer someone promise me truth versus fidelity. I find it infinitely more comforting.
#9
its good to see it said tho
#10
Hello,
Now the woprd cheating i find is often a confused word... Of course most of us assosciate it with a loving couple finding one having sex with a third party however ive always figured that cheating is when someone steals your partners heart... Of course momogimus relationships would be fantastic im not disagreeing there however in order for that to work both partners would need to satisfy each other on a regular basis... l hjave seen sex as well sex if its with someone else but with a partner thats a different kettle of fish its about passion and love... Now to explain this theory of mine if Mr A had a higher sex drive than Mr B and Mr A wanted it 3 times a week yet Mr B only once a month Mr A would become seriously fustrated and feel as though his not getting all his boxes checked...
This can cause tension in a relationship however both parties would need to discuss what cheating is to them and lay laws down

Kindest regards

zeon x


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