Cheated on, and the pain is unbearable

[TwisttheLeaf]

Ok so... you went from a shit show in August, to proposing in September?

This sounds like SUCH a bad idea yeah? Anyone can be on "good behavior" for a few weeks, after all. I really think you jumped the gun.

I also don't see August as "ages ago" as it's now only October. That's a grand total of 2.. maybe 3 months? Definitely not "ages" except on the lifeline of a gnat maybe.

Between this post and the other you link in this post? Everything about this relationship seems to be going WAY too fast and is extremely chaotic. A mess, to be honest.

I think you should be looking for something healthier for yourself. A relationship you -develop- instead of crash through headlong with arms pinwheeling out of control and peripheral debris floating around.

I'm sorry you are going through this, but... IMO it's time to move on.

[Insertnamehere]

Ok, plenty of advices here that are contrary to what I would say, but all seem very well thought out.

I will just say this:

His reason for doing so was because he was in an extremely dark place. He hated it, but wanted to punish himself; there was lots of guilt and self-loathing going on. He never got satisfaction and even said he thought about me the whole time. He was so confident I was cheating on him too.

All of that sounds like utter bullshit pissing poor excuses to me.

But anyway, you can either deal with being cheated on, forgive him and let it go (all 3, no throwing that in his face 10 years from now in a fight)... or you cannot.

That is something you only know.

I will agree with the rest in that this all seems chaotic and rushed

[GuyOverThere]

I don't know now what to think about the cheating. Another bit of background (which has always rung alarm bells) is that he's terrible with money, extremely compulsive and has some degree of sexual/masturbation addiction, which I think has played a huge role in this.

I miss him, but I feel like I've been in love with a fantasy for six months, and at that, that's all it was - six months. As others have said, I can't possibly know someone well in that time. Perhaps I need to come back down to earth for a bit.

I have many questions. I can forgive him, and want to be back with him...

I'm concerned about the fact he's happily used one of his best profile pics on WhatsApp (in fact it's a cropped pic of us). It feels like a slap in the face, and I don't pick up on any remorse for this behaviour, although he's broken down when I've been there in person, said how much he misses me.

I DO know that this man has loved me intensely for some time, I just need a push as what to do. He's said he'd wait for me.

I love this man with all my heart.

[East]

I am going to skip the preface to this statement I am going to make because no matter how much I try...I can't shorten it enough....

So here it is...

Love and Lust...two different things...sometimes they can happen together but not as often as romance novels suggest....

Alot of people think it is a moral failing to be in love with someone and have sex with someone else...

I disagree...

I think lying about it is a moral failing...