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Emasculation and I can't get past it...
#1
Hello all. So I've been in a relationship with this guy for about 7 months now. I am completely in love with him, and he says the same. We recently got onto the topic of the dreaded exes, something I generally try to avoid, but he wanted to talk about it so we did. Near the end of the conversation, he randomly told me about an ex of his that he "couldn't handle" if you get my drift. If not, he was talking about his penis size. To me, that is something you just do not bring up to your boyfriend, especially when I'm the top. I'm not sure why, but this was a major blow to my sexual ego, and for the past few weeks I can't stop thinking about that comment. I told him how I felt about it, and he apologized, and its been over and done. But like I said, I cannot stop thinking about it. Any time he mentions wanting to have sex with me, or even HAVING sex with him, the comment pops into my head. Its starting to effect my sexual performance I guess you could say, and it's an INSTANT turn off when I think about it. I havent told him how I'm feeling because to him, the issue is over and done with and it was just a simple comment, no harm done. I just don't know how to get past this or get this out of my head... I fell highly emasculated and find my self trying to compre myself to this specific ex..... Any help would be appreciated
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#2
Yeah, I understand your ego was dented and it was his fault but the reality is that he is with you and nobody else because he loves you, meaning that he is happy with you in every way.

For now you will just have to deal with it as he has apologised and get him to stop talking about his previous relationships as they are history. Those relationships ended for a good reason and should not be brought up again. The reason I don't is because I would not want to risk hurting my guy if that makes sense?

I do feel for you as you are innocent in all of this but for your own sake and his you must move on from it. In doing that though, take as long as you need without dramatising it if you can?

Good Luck!
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#3
You should be glad he likes your penis better than his ex's, hence why he still asks to be your dick sock. It's not the size - it's what you do with it. You've obviously demonstrated that with him. Besides, it's just a piece of meat, it's not who you are, and I'm assuming he's your boyfriend for reasons other than that.
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#4
Get tough with yourself. You have a fragile ego and you need to toughen it up. Life is short and if you spend most of it worried about things you have no control over then you will have wasted most of it.

Be happy that he "can" handle you. You say you love him. Would it be better for you and your "love for him" if he couldn't handle you and you hurt him? What kind of love is that? (EEK)

Face it...your penis is smaller than alot of other men's penis. That will always be the case in life for 99% of us. Do you want to spend your time upset about what "Isn't".....and lose sight of what "Is"?

If you don't deal with this...he will figure out how and when to lie to you in the future and when that happens you have to remember you were , in part, the architect.
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#5
1.- For future references, whenever he decides to talk about exes again, stop him on the spot.

Yes, I am one of those who prefer not to hear about them. Call me insecure. I can understand why you didn't want to

However, on this subject, you are blowing things out of proportion. Thus, my points 2 and 3:

2.- He has been with you for 7 months and has declared his love for you. Doesn't that tell you that he's perfectly fine with you? By now any trait of yours of physical or behavioral nature he might consider a deal breaker would have shown itself and ended things.

Safe to say, this guy enjoys being with you as you are.

Ask yourself this questions: When you 2 are at it: Is he into you? Or is he reading a paper while you pound away?

If the answers are, in this order, "yes" and "no", then I think it's obvious he has more than enough with you, regarding sex. And even then, remember sex is but one part of what makes a relationship.

3.- Notice he described his ex's penis as something he "can't handle". In what world does that sound like he was describing something good or pleasurable for him?

You say you feel insecure, meaning you would like to have something he "can't handle" too.

Ask yourself this:

Is this really what you want?

Do you want the potential of hurting your partner and putting him through pain?

Do you think he wants that? To have a painful experience instead of a pleasurable one?

If you see a guy screaming in pain due to a massive penis and loving it, you are probably watching porn. If that's the case, remember the guy got paid to do that.

The road is clear. You need to let go of your insecurities and your hurt ego, although I'm not sure how to do that.

Perhaps think about everything I said in point 2. Think about this guy being with you for this long and instead of being with Mr "can't handle" anymore.

There's gotta be a reason for that, no?
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#6
Miles Wrote:You should be glad he likes your penis better than his ex's, hence why he still asks to be your dick sock. It's not the size - it's what you do with it. You've obviously demonstrated that with him. Besides, it's just a piece of meat, it's not who you are, and I'm assuming he's your boyfriend for reasons other than that.

Forever and always, will I refer to Bottoming, as being a "Dick Sock". This, in it's simplistic entirety, amuses me greatly. Coffee

And to answer the thread;

I lost my Masculinity a loooooooong time go if I ever had it and trust me, life ain't that different from those who got it.

You weren't Emasculated, you placed a judgement on yourself, based on your insecurities.

He didnt say you have a limp,soft,princess baby dick, that probably would've been emasculating. He just said he can take yours better than that other guys.

Would you rather him refuse you sex, cause you want your dick the size of a Tree?

Think of it like this; Your hot dog, is just perfect for his Bun.
Your Dick, completes him.

Hands-make-heart
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#7
Sylph Wrote:Think of it like this; Your hot dog, is just perfect for his Bun.
Your Dick, completes him.

And then you go and match with a wonderful metaphor of your own 1luvu1luvu1luvu1luvu1luvu1luvu LlkissLlkissLlkissLlkissLlkissLlkiss HerzHerzHerzHerzHerzHerz
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#8
Miles Wrote:And then you go and match with a wonderful metaphor of your own 1luvu1luvu1luvu1luvu1luvu1luvu LlkissLlkissLlkissLlkissLlkissLlkiss HerzHerzHerzHerzHerzHerz

Yes, because we're that kind of couple :hugs-and-kisses-smi:hugs-and-kisses-smi:hugs-and-kisses-smiHands-make-heartHands-make-heartHands-make-heartI-sense-chemistry

I was gonna say something about ; Your Cock makes him Cluck ah-Doodle Doo, but I figured... Let's not bring more Cocks into this than necessary >,>
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#9
I do find it amusing how Sylph always manages to get threads off topic Rofl
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#10
Penises are stupid things. If only I wasn't attracted to them....
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