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First date, need advice - 20 yrs old
#1
Hi, I feel like this might be long but please do help and give me some advice because I'm new on here and i'm so desperate and miserable. Let's get started, ok I met this guy on grindr three weeks ago, he lives in my city and we were talking on whatsapp, he asked for my instagram, liked all the pictures, had voice messages, he was saying how cute/sexy etc I am and how my voice is so sexy and manly. We even talked deep about gay community and dating how he think I know what I want, how it's not all about sex etc. During that time he would randomly text me to ask me what i'm doing and how am I, I couldn't always reply back because I was busy with college and work tho. He was asking when I would take him on the date I would always change the subject bc I was scared idk why, not that I didn't go on dates with guys before but idk. So one day I dedicated to meet up with him at his place, that Saturday I was at my friends before drinking alcohol which may be a my mistake before actually meeting him at evening but don't judge me because I'm a former obese (was at my highest when I was 14) but you can't tell anymore and that left me so insecure and with a anxiety. I got at his place at 10 pm a little bit dizzy, we were talking, drinking vodka, listening to music etc. He told me how open I was as a person and how manly and straight acting I am and that he's scared I would cheat on him with girls. Then we laid on the couch, he was looking and smiling at me like he's in love idk then it weird weird he told me how he wouldn't notice me on the street but only my fashion sense and style, he was asking about my opinion on him I can't remember much but I think I was so uncomfortable because of him asking, I told him that I feel like girls are relationship goals because I can have emotions with them but feel like guys only want sex and that's all (mostly every gay I met was like that tho) and told him that I want a relationship with a guy one day. He kept looking at me and smiling, then he asked if I want to go to his room, I've naively agree and we went in his bed, I was a bit nervous so I was pretending to be typing on my phone, checking instagram pics etc he was typing to someone I saw then he grabbed my phone and started to kiss me, I enjoyed it because it was nothing more than a cuddle (I'm okay with it bc i'm sick of gay night stands). We were cuddling for long and then both fell asleep. I woke up first in the morning, went to the toilet, he was still sleeping, I told him i'm going home and he went half asleep like no stay, when I finally dedicated to go, he asked me if he need to walk me from his apartment I said like i'm good, greeted him said bye, he was still laying on the bed and went ok bye text me. It's been a week and hal and I haven't hear from him since that day, he still keeps liking my instagram pictures I post. Btw I'm 20, he's 24.

Please help me and give me some advice because this is KILLING ME and idk what to do. I'm so sad idk even why, I feel like I catch feelings to quickly. Please give me some advice I need it so much.

THANK YOU!
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#2
Perhaps it's a matter of you taking the initiative and texting him. Maybe he's expecting that.

"Probe" things with him and if you see that it's you who keeps contacting him and there is no reciprocity, then you have your answer.

Avoid sex for now, if he loses interest quickly, then you know what kind of guy he is.
[Image: 05onfire1_xp-jumbo-v2.jpg?quality=90&auto=webp]
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#3
Same as above, shoot him a text see what happens. I will be frank and say a lot of guys pretty much just want sex or fwb... Just take one step at a time and try not to become too obsessed with him, try to keep level headed.
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
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#4
Did you text him like he asked when you left him in bed? If you do connect again, just go slowly until you figure yourself out a bit more.
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#5
Darius Wrote:Did you text him like he asked when you left him in bed? If you do connect again, just go slowly until you figure yourself out a bit more.

I didn't. I'm scared of getting hurt.
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#6
Does it not seem as though we are, of late, barraged with a surfeit of lengthy posts by newbies needing advice on various issues. These posts seem also to share a certain copiously worded style.

Not saying that they are not legit, but that it seems strange.

It also seems strange that we seem to hear less and less from board stalwarts.
I bid NO Trump!
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#7
LJay Wrote:Does it not seem as though we are, of late, barraged with a surfeit of lengthy posts by newbies needing advice on various issues. These posts seem also to share a certain copiously worded style.

Not saying that they are not legit, but that it seems strange.

It also seems strange that we seem to hear less and less from board stalwarts.

This is legit indeed.
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#8
Hm, I'm afraid that you simply will not know what happens next unless you make the plunge. I urge you to make contact soon.
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#9
2 Words: Page Breaks
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#10
twentyidk Wrote:I didn't. I'm scared of getting hurt.

Well, he did tell you to text him and you didn't do it. Maybe he's waiting for you just like you are waiting for him to make a move?

As for getting hurt, you might. And you might not. You'll never know until you try. But at 20 years of age, you may have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.

Keep us informed, twntyidk.
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