Hello from a Siberian with problems

[baldurjonnson]

Be true to yourself. If you don't be true to yourself, it might be more painful later. Think about that.

[jbd555]

Lots of good advice here! So impressed with this website! Anyway as other posters have stated your obligation is to your child first, then to yourself. You need to do what is best for your child so he/she will be raised by loving parents and be well cared for. If you decide to end your relationship you will have to provide for your child in the future, making sure he/she is safe and happy.
As far as your girlfriend/ wife is concerned it is not fair to her to keep your homosexual feelings hidden from her. As others have posted, she will find out and when she does it will affect everyone around you including your child. She may or may not want to stay with you but at least you both can move on and live happy lives. You OWE her that much.
Lastly, you have to work on yourself. You are NOT crazy or abnormal or mentally unstable because men turn you on. If you are religious this can have a huge toll on your self esteem. You should surround yourself with good friends that you can rely on, people who will accept you and love you for who you are. It's tough, but EVERYONE deserves a long and happy life. The best to you and your future! From what I've read in your posts, you'll be a great father!