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How to have straight friends?
#11
This is an interesting topic, with some very interesting responses. I however feel a little different about the situation. I have 3 close male friends. Over the years, 2 of them who I came out to have become very curious, and it is quite obvious. I think they wanted me to make a move. I used to mess with them and say, "You know you want to see what it's all about!" Both have admitted that seeing me and my fiance together makes them wonder because we are both masculine, and all they want to know is who is doing who. They have all but came out and told me they want to try something, but it's not happening. For one, I am engaged, and for 2, it would complicate our friendship. My other friend is totally straight, so I don't even have to worry about him. In my day I was known to "change the straight boys."

Now when I met my fiance, I thought he was straight, and he thought I was straight too. We were the best of friends at work, but we never really talked outside of the office. As time went by, I began to develop feelings for him, but I kept telling myself it could never happen for several reasons. He was too perfect! He was the most hansom guy, with the most beautiful brown eyes I had ever seen. We had so much in common, and he just seemed like a great person to me. So I told myself that he would be nothing more than my new straight friend. But as each day passed, I starting to fall head over heels for him. Finally, a mutual friend of ours came to me at work one day and said, "I can't take this anymore, and I think you need to tell him how you feel!!" I said, "Right! So he can knock my teeth out??" And my friend said, "as cool and down to earth as he is? The worst he will say is I don't get down like that." Needless to say, I wasn't going to open my mouth and say anything. One day a few weeks later, we were at lunch, and our friend set us up. We all sat down at the table, and he said he wanted to play a game called confessions. I knew where that was going, and I finally let go of the fear, and let the confessions roar! Needless to say, he told him right there that I liked him. When we found out about each other, there was complete silence. I felt so stupid for allowing him to out me like that! For the rest of the day, it felt weird. When he passed me, he asked if I would like to take a walk with him after work because this was very awkward. The rest is history! It's the greatest love I have ever known, and If I had forced our friend to keep his mouth shut, I would have never experienced this. Eventually we would have found about each other because we were getting closer by the day. But who's to say we would be engaged now???

So what I am saying, is sometime you never know if someone is straight or not. And just because they use the word "fag" doesn't always mean anything at all. There are hundreds of millions of homophobic gays, who will never let on to anything unless they are comfortable.

Befriending "straight" guys can be a full time job. You just have to be careful, and treat each and every situation different. There is no one right answer to this one.
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#12
What a sweet story of how you met your fiancé.
Fred

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
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#13
Well, i'm not out to most of my straight friends. I'm also not attracted to any of them, except one, who i came out to first. Tongue Yesterday he was telling me a story, but i was completely lost in his Alaskan-husky piercing blue eyes as the sun was hitting them perfectly. It was pretty strange.. but they are mesmerizing. hahah.

i have never and would never blatantly tell him that I find him attractive. But if a situation arose where he was putting himself down or something, or he was feeling low, i might tell him casually that he is a good looking dude!

haha
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#14
Hm, I see all of my straight male friends as brothers. That helps me. All of my close straight friends (Colleagues and friends outside office) know that I am gay by now. They see me as a brother too.

There was this one time where I almost had a crush on this one particular guy. He works in a different company but on the same floor. One day he told me that he's married with two children. I almost died laughing.

I then converted him as a friend and a big brother. Big bro indeed as he loves to give me advices regarding to future etc. "I don't care if you have a girlfriend or a partner, you need to have one by now as time waits for no men." He once said to me.

Maybe the key is to restraint oneself from seeing every guy as a sexual object.

Sorry I can't help much, Mooninleo.
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#15
It's like a few people have said on here, as long as you can excercise any level of restraint it shouldn't be a problem. A lot of my straight friends I think are cute or attractive, I just appreciate from afar, because I know our boundaries. Much the same way straight men have attractive colleagues and friends, it doesn't always have to mean there will be an impending sexual tension.

I think it's nice in a way, to be able to think someone is sexy but just to be comfortable with them without any complications. You're just buddies there to enjoy each others company, and it can be intimate in a different way, just hanging out and being close without all of the emotional crap. I like that.
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#16
Ive got a few straight friends just don't overdo the gay thing is all yeah they'll listen to you about guys but dont mention your sex life. Only do if they do and say well you brought it up and I was sharing is what I typically do although i dont have a sex life I will match whatever they said with something I watched.
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