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I hope im not doing it wrong.
#1
Hello everybody! I'm in the closet and i want to find someone i can live something magical(love). And im thinkin about studying a lot and going to another country. But im not sure if i can live openly in there. But i don't want to hide all my life. I know few people makes fun of others like ''fag'' or something. if its gonna be like that, i don't think i want to go another country. I can.. hide in here too. what do you think?
#2
Hi you could try living and studying in The UK we are very tolerant. Confusedmile:
#3
As much as I wish I could tell you otherwise, there is no place that we won't get called names and have someone that hates us just for being gay. Some places have fewer people like that than others, but there are homophobic people everywhere you go.

If you are going to stay in the closet until there is an entire city where no one hates us for being gay, then you'll be in that closet for life. My advice would be to get a thicker skin, don't let that bother you and just come out and live your life your way. Let them sneer and call you names, it's their problem if they can't handle you being a happy, openly gay man.

If I hid every time someone has called me "fag, pretty boy, queer." or worse, I'd never get anywhere. I figure either they are closeted and hiding behind a wall of anger, jealous, or just plain ignorant and, let then go their way. I don't have to let those people affect me, just words. I could stoop to their level and call them breeders, dumb asses, or worse but I choose to be better than that, and I chose to live my life openly.
#4
The problem isn't what people call me, the problem is being the only one in that name. If i can find someone, i don't think the rest can bother me.
#5
most of Europe/ UK, N America (Canada and the US) will work for you. Other areas too. Gay men still mostly locate to the larger cities. Best wishes in your quest.
#6
Before moving, study the area and the culture/society.
Try to see if there are any open LGBT or gay communities or groups, etc and where the majority of them reside. Maybe if there's a nice one in... let's say... Bath, then look it up and see if you can talk to members and see what they recommend. That way when you move, you'll know a couple people, you'll know where the "gay areas" or whatever people call them are, and you won't feel as alone and unsure on how to make yourself known.
#7
studying area? how? You can't learn it from books or vikipedia. and this is the only place i can talk freely because my identity is secure.
#8
Sorry, when I mean study I mean actually search for any open gay events even crimes committed against them in the area.
Anything that you can get an understanding of the area from.
And of course; I understand that.
I think many open societies and such also protect your privacy.
It's up to you whether or not you want to open yourself up publicly and such.
For instance, if I were moving to Los Angeles I'd look up websites (I can't post a link as an example but google LGBT Los Angeles and click on the first link) and contact them and see what services they have, if they have any people you can email in private about these issues, and maybe they can tell you what they recommend.
#9
There are more sites than Wikipedia. Look for LGBT, or gay bars, LGBT friendly businesses, even LGBT community centers in the area. Look at the public records for hate crimes, things like that can give you a good idea of what the area is like.

For example if I told you there was a place with no LGBT community center, but there were LGBT support groups hosted twice a week at the general community center. There was only one Gay bar and, it was not exclusively gay, straights wen there too. And there have been 12 hate crimes in the last 2 years here, 4 of them directed at blacks, 1 with a white female victim and, the rest white men. Then you saw random pictures of public events and saw that there might be one or two that could be gay or punk rockers and, a couple of guys that were dressed a little feminine but, very conservatively so, and the rest of the people in the photos looked like straight people. You'd have a good idea of what was in store for an openly gay man there.

Not impossible, but not the best place to come out initially either.

Now if I showed you a place with 2 community centers, 4 bars, six other LGBT friendly businesses, only 3 hate crimes, and all directed at minorities, and there were 6-8 obviously gay couples in the pictures of events around the area, then you'd know that was a better place for someone just coming out.
#10
thank you guys, these advices really helps.


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