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It's just too much...
#11
@ Mr Pancake - he doesn't sound like a boyfriend, more like a stalker :frown:

eastofeden Wrote:That helps explain it a bit PA...tell me though...when you met Marsh online did you both want to meet or have intentions to do so if/when you discovered you were attracted to each other? ...
I hope you don't mind me butting in, before PA answers your question, E. He will undoubtedly have a different perspective on how it worked out for him.

I really had no intention of meeting anyone in particular. To be honest, I was a bit screwed up (okay, a lot screwed up) at the time and would not have been an attractive proposition for anyone. I spent hours in my office/studio in the garden, just to avoid the inevitable conflicts in the house and used the discussions on uk.gay.com as a means of getting into debates with other gay men, so I could have some sort of contact with others who may be like me. I had seen the name princealbertofb on some of the messages, but I did not think much beyond the fact that he wrote well until I received a direct e-mail from him continuing one of the topics in private. He had a sense that I was in trouble and wanted to offer some support. Many of you will have encountered this very compassionate side to his nature. I had already registered his contributions to discussions as thoughtful, carefully argued and written in good English and I found that not only unusual, but also interesting and maybe not entirely unattractive, so I answered his message and before long we were sending regular e-mails to each other. In that sense we became pen-pals and were soon writing to each other about other aspects of our lives too. After a few months I guess it is true to say that we knew quite a lot about each other, but I could not envisage any other kind of relationship at all.

During an illness in which I was immobile and bedridden for a fortnight we communicated by text and telephone and when I was able to move again he invited me for a short visit for a change of scenery. We had little more than twenty-four hours together that first time in December 2002, but we went into Geneva for the Fête de l'Escalade and danced in the street to a steel pan band from Zurich and ate a chocolate cauldron (une marmite, a symbol of the Genevois resistance to the invading Duke of Savoy commemorating the contribution of Mère Royaume to the resistance). I then had to fly back to my situation in England after these few short hours of respite. The inevitable happened and a few months further on I had to leave my home or I knew I was going to have to leave this life. PA had kept in touch all this time and again invited me over to get me away from the bad stuff.

He seemed to know early on that he wanted a relationship, but as I have mentioned before, I was not in any state to make that kind of a decision. The last thing I thought I wanted was to get out of one relationship and straight into another one. I suppose the long-distance nature of our relationship so far has allowed what we have to brew quite nicely. He has been my rock and my anchor when I have needed him most and I have learned to love him more and more as the years have gone by to the point that I cannot now imagine a future without PA in it. I guess he enjoys the relationship too Rolleyes
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#12
marshlander;78447... He has been my rock and my anchor when I have needed him most and I have learned to love him more and more as the years have gone by to the point that [COLOR=magenta Wrote:I cannot now imagine a future without PA in it. I guess he enjoys the relationship too[/COLOR] Rolleyes

It's nice to be a rock even though not minty flavoured Wink, oh well, I can't imagine a future without Marshlander in it either ... so I guess we are fitted.
The situation wasn't quite the same for me, because, not being in a relationship, and not having had one for 18 years, it made me quite available for one. However, I didn't think I would make Marshlander my boyfriend so quickly and so readily. I knew he didn't feel available an it was not my plan at all. I thought: "This man needs some solace and to get away from a terribly debilitating situation, in which he can't grow and can't breathe... He needs a bit of respite". That was initially my intention, just to get him out of that house.

The fact that we managed to get on well straight away was a bonus, just a bonus. I knew then that I wished to have something a bit more lasting and was hopeful, seeing how thing had gone so far.

We kept at the regular writing and messaging and texting (with my old phone at the time - a mobile I'd been given but didn't want to have -- it did come in handy, I must admit -- but nonetheless a technology that I didn't really want to become a slave to). We were pretty good keeping up with phone calls, and mainly messaging. Our next encounter was some 5 months later for Easter... and I was thrilled to be better (no longer with that December cold) and that we had a little more time to spend together. We enjoyed each other's company a lot, and had lots of things to share while being totally different people. The rest is practically history. :biggrin:
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#13
Damn! I just had a long post and for some reason the "Internet" decided to delete my response...so I will tell you both the essence of what my post was about...that was a very sweet love story from both of you and I am happy to know that Internet meetings can turn out so well....and happy for both of you as well. Thanks for sharing your story!
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#14
You are welcome, East....Remybussi
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#15
Danger, Will Robinson...

I don't get a lot of good vibes from the description, it sounds a little manipulative to be honest but men got our bad reputation for a reason. He does make the effort to talk to you and it seems like you enjoy that, but at the moment you might be moving at different speeds. *sighs* it's the old cliche - I should get it on a rubber stamp - but talk to him and see if he's happy with taking it easy, that you enjoy the sex but not ALL the time.

I've had one or two online relationships and met a couple of nice guys, so it's a mixed bag... I've found it's no better or worse than meeting someone in real-life, in fact in some cases you can find out more about people on a personal level then they would divulge face to face on a first date.
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#16
my opinion.... if he cant respect you enough to understand that talking dirty just isnt you, then he's not worth your time. i'd have to agree with a few of the earlier replies as well when they say have a few face to face dates.... more often then not people wanting relationships over the internet are just trying to (virtually) get into your pants.
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#17
codis Wrote:.... more often then not people wanting relationships over the internet are just trying to (virtually) get into your pants.
If that's the photograph you show, maybe it's not entirely surprising Rolleyes Men are notorious for responding to visual stimulation. It is odd though that many people find it so difficult to discriminate between a relationship and a shag.
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#18
So many suggestions, I was'nt expecting this! First off let me say thanks so much princealbertofb for sharing that story with us! Also sorry, I was going to make a reply to your first post, but the Moderators had different plans... ^^; SO! Thank you thank you thank you for all for your posts you wonderful wonderful people! I got a good idea on what I need to do! Thank you all sooooooooo much!!! <Big Grin
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#19
i tend to agree with sil, plus he uses Danger, Will Robinson wich i love,,,,,,he sounds like he just loves the thrill of someone talkin dirty to him just as a quick buzz, your not that type so i dont see u changing anytime soon to fit what he just wants - let him know this and if he cant have a fun simple conversation without it all leading to sex talk then maybe move on m8, u can always stay as friends and maybe something will come later - just my thoughts
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#20
Mr. Pancake Wrote:Hello everyone! I'm hoping someone could possibly give me any advice on this issue I got myself into. So I'm in my very first relationship (over the internet) and it's been well over a month that we've been together. So during that time up to now my boyfriend will NOT stop talking about having sex with me. At first I refused to play along in his text sex plays, but like an ideot I caved in and played along in his "game". After about five times of "doing it" I got fed up and started refusing his "love". Now he's tring to act inteligent saying "Your not giving me enough 'attention'" and "It helps build a relationship". Although what he says is true he wants me to talk dirty with him all the time, and thats not who I am.

Only on rare occasions do we make actual conversations and thats the only time I enjoy talking to him. Ultimatly I'm not happy, but he definitly is. And I dont know whether to try to continue to talk him out of it, or cut the plug on this relationship.

Any comments will be greatly appreciated!

Time to cut the cord, really. I don't see how 'internet relationships' could be considered relationships to begin with. I would much rather consider a 'relationship' moreso with a physical presence.

To boot, he sounds like someone who is infatuated with sex. There should be a balance, IMO.

But its your call. Just offering my .02.
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