It's just too much...
10-25-2010, 01:38 PM
@ Mr Pancake - he doesn't sound like a boyfriend, more like a stalker :frown:
I really had no intention of meeting anyone in particular. To be honest, I was a bit screwed up (okay, a lot screwed up) at the time and would not have been an attractive proposition for anyone. I spent hours in my office/studio in the garden, just to avoid the inevitable conflicts in the house and used the discussions on uk.gay.com as a means of getting into debates with other gay men, so I could have some sort of contact with others who may be like me. I had seen the name princealbertofb on some of the messages, but I did not think much beyond the fact that he wrote well until I received a direct e-mail from him continuing one of the topics in private. He had a sense that I was in trouble and wanted to offer some support. Many of you will have encountered this very compassionate side to his nature. I had already registered his contributions to discussions as thoughtful, carefully argued and written in good English and I found that not only unusual, but also interesting and maybe not entirely unattractive, so I answered his message and before long we were sending regular e-mails to each other. In that sense we became pen-pals and were soon writing to each other about other aspects of our lives too. After a few months I guess it is true to say that we knew quite a lot about each other, but I could not envisage any other kind of relationship at all.
During an illness in which I was immobile and bedridden for a fortnight we communicated by text and telephone and when I was able to move again he invited me for a short visit for a change of scenery. We had little more than twenty-four hours together that first time in December 2002, but we went into Geneva for the Fête de l'Escalade and danced in the street to a steel pan band from Zurich and ate a chocolate cauldron (une marmite, a symbol of the Genevois resistance to the invading Duke of Savoy commemorating the contribution of Mère Royaume to the resistance). I then had to fly back to my situation in England after these few short hours of respite. The inevitable happened and a few months further on I had to leave my home or I knew I was going to have to leave this life. PA had kept in touch all this time and again invited me over to get me away from the bad stuff.
He seemed to know early on that he wanted a relationship, but as I have mentioned before, I was not in any state to make that kind of a decision. The last thing I thought I wanted was to get out of one relationship and straight into another one. I suppose the long-distance nature of our relationship so far has allowed what we have to brew quite nicely. He has been my rock and my anchor when I have needed him most and I have learned to love him more and more as the years have gone by to the point that I cannot now imagine a future without PA in it. I guess he enjoys the relationship too
eastofeden Wrote:That helps explain it a bit PA...tell me though...when you met Marsh online did you both want to meet or have intentions to do so if/when you discovered you were attracted to each other? ...I hope you don't mind me butting in, before PA answers your question, E. He will undoubtedly have a different perspective on how it worked out for him.
I really had no intention of meeting anyone in particular. To be honest, I was a bit screwed up (okay, a lot screwed up) at the time and would not have been an attractive proposition for anyone. I spent hours in my office/studio in the garden, just to avoid the inevitable conflicts in the house and used the discussions on uk.gay.com as a means of getting into debates with other gay men, so I could have some sort of contact with others who may be like me. I had seen the name princealbertofb on some of the messages, but I did not think much beyond the fact that he wrote well until I received a direct e-mail from him continuing one of the topics in private. He had a sense that I was in trouble and wanted to offer some support. Many of you will have encountered this very compassionate side to his nature. I had already registered his contributions to discussions as thoughtful, carefully argued and written in good English and I found that not only unusual, but also interesting and maybe not entirely unattractive, so I answered his message and before long we were sending regular e-mails to each other. In that sense we became pen-pals and were soon writing to each other about other aspects of our lives too. After a few months I guess it is true to say that we knew quite a lot about each other, but I could not envisage any other kind of relationship at all.
During an illness in which I was immobile and bedridden for a fortnight we communicated by text and telephone and when I was able to move again he invited me for a short visit for a change of scenery. We had little more than twenty-four hours together that first time in December 2002, but we went into Geneva for the Fête de l'Escalade and danced in the street to a steel pan band from Zurich and ate a chocolate cauldron (une marmite, a symbol of the Genevois resistance to the invading Duke of Savoy commemorating the contribution of Mère Royaume to the resistance). I then had to fly back to my situation in England after these few short hours of respite. The inevitable happened and a few months further on I had to leave my home or I knew I was going to have to leave this life. PA had kept in touch all this time and again invited me over to get me away from the bad stuff.
He seemed to know early on that he wanted a relationship, but as I have mentioned before, I was not in any state to make that kind of a decision. The last thing I thought I wanted was to get out of one relationship and straight into another one. I suppose the long-distance nature of our relationship so far has allowed what we have to brew quite nicely. He has been my rock and my anchor when I have needed him most and I have learned to love him more and more as the years have gone by to the point that I cannot now imagine a future without PA in it. I guess he enjoys the relationship too
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
, oh well, I can't imagine a future without Marshlander in it either ... so I guess we are fitted. 
