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Just have a two hours of argument with my best friend. Fml
#1
delettteedd
#2
Well Option 2 is must definitely not an option Conechvn
Option 1 doesn’t sound likely at the moment.
That leaves option 3, but I’m not telling you to settle for second best oh no no no I’m telling you to move on to bigger and better. An that starts with deleting everyone of those messages off your phone ( if you haven’t done that already) cause any guy willing to call you and leave such a hateful message is no longer worth your valuable time.

The only other advice I could give you..is…. if you can….try to use this argument as a jumping off point to finding a way better BFF and a much more deserving BF.
#3
Honestly man I don’t know how you can convince him, I don’t have a answer for that. You already spent 2 hours trying do just that so I really don’t know… I have nothing right now.

And to be doubly honest if I were you in that situation that argument wouldn’t have lasted 2 hours cause like 10 minutes in I would have been like FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUR MOTHER, peace out.

So the best I thing I can think of right now is maybe take a few days to cool off, than try to talk to him again.
#4
If he is also gay he's not currently accepting of himself so option 1 is out. Even if he does accept he is gay then option 1 may still be out.

You shouldn't bend yourself to how others want you. I tried that and hid in the closet for 20 years. It does your head in. Don't allow him, or society, try and convert you into being straight.

Option 3 is the most viable. And like TimmyThink says, it isn't second best. You could, and most likely will, find someone better. Someone who at least accepts themselves for being gay. I don't think I could live with someone who refused to accept they we gay (I briefly dated a guy that described himself as a "homophobic homosexual"... he had some major issues. And was constantly freaking out that I might accidentally out him to some "friends" that didn't know he was gay.)
#5
Option 2: Killing urself? Why should u think of such crazy things??? It should never come to ur mind. You have a long life to live.

Hope for the best dear. May be a day will come where he realizes that he needs u.
#6
Very sorry to read that you've had this horrible experience. I would be shaking for days to come after a conversation like that, I suspect. :frown:

You've done what you can. Don't expect to be able to make him see sense. You will never be able to make him see, or do, anything. He has to take responsibility for his own changes. You have explained your situation and it is up to him how he proceeds in the light of what you have said. All you can do is live in as best a way as you know how and maybe hope that he comes to a similar realisation.

I'm not sure that limiting yourself to just three options is appropriate either, since you have expressed them in restrictive, emotive terms. A fourth option could be about getting on with the rest of your life and making a difference in those spheres you can influence. I wonder what a fifth, sixth or a seventh option might be ... Wink

Best wishes for whatever happens next.
#7
I was always told not to give advice on relationships, it always seems better to see what someone has to say and then let them work it out for themselves. People mostly just seem to need verification of their decision from others, knowing in their heart what their real choice is. Somehow it still needs backup.

It's a sad story, but there does seem to be hope here given time; the problem is if you have the patience to be around waiting for him. You seem quite clear in your mind about your wants, the exact opposite of your partner. I don't know him well enough to say, but I know 'coming out' is an awful time and it may take him a long time (if ever) to come to terms with his feelings. And I'm winning gold for stating the obvious here Rolleyes

from an amateur psychology point of view - you're pressuring him, and that's not good for the goose or the gander. It's a natural human response to be angry when somebody challenges your beliefs; it may not even be personal, it's a defence mechanism.

In return he's also assuming a lot of incorrect and patronising things about you. Assumptions make an ass out of U and ME.

It sounds cold but the real key here may be indifference - staying in touch and being friends but moving on with your life to make him realise you have great potential; being comfortable in yourself is a wonderful property and envious.
#8
Okay, first thing that I've gotta say is cool down and give him space for a while.

On option one, I don't wanna be the devil's advocate here but... isn't what you're telling him (you love me more than a best friend etc.) similar to the "brainwashing" that you claim he's doing to you? I don't think you should force him to admit something like that.

Option two's out of the picture, option three... you'll have to see how he reacts in time.
So I'll say to wait and don't do anything drastic (and don't let him either).
#9
I don't have anything to add to the advice here, but:
Bighug
Hope you feel better soon.
Silly Sarcastic So-and-so
#10
Giving 3 options to a person sounds like giving a cage to someone and placing them inside of it, do you think if someone gave you 3 options and you did not like any of them, would you agree to one, or create your own? You have to understand that the same amount of emotions you have placed on the way you feel about your relationship, are behind his reasoning(What I mean by this is: The same amount of belief that you put into believing you are gay, he puts into believing that you aren't; that is his belief and no one from the outside can change it but himself and anything that opposes with his reasoning=anger, frustration, etc- just like how you are currently feeling, as he does not understand you). in problems opposites clash, and if there is no one willing to give middle ground the problem will persist. I think it would be best if you move on, as I don't think you are going to change who you are just for his sake...are you?
Sorry, if I am making no sense....


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