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Kiss my colleague?
#1
A couple of months ago a new colleague started in our team. A little shy, bit insecure but an easy-going guy and a great colleague to work with. About six weeks ago, during a night shift, he suddenly asked me if it was true that I was gay. It came up in a conversation he had with other colleagues. After I told him I was indeed gay, he told me he was too. Was I surprised, NEVER would have guessed that. Anyway, since four weeks, every time we have a shift together, I think he kind of lets me know he likes me by comments he makes. 'Why I don't have a relationship because he finds me an attractive guy, if I miss dating, if I ever dated a colleague etc..'
When we are on duty together, he tries to couple up with me before starting the shift (we work in teams of 2).
During the last weeks, especially during the night shifts (those are usually not as busy as the day shifts) we talked a lot and I got to know him a little better. There was not much going on so we drove in the car all nights chatting away, just the two of us).
And when I drove home after the last shift we worked together, I realised that I was attracted to him (as well). Nice looking guy (VERY nice looking guy actually) and very friendly. Many common interests and a family-guy!! Something I care strongly about.

So, in three hours I start my night shift again and he is on call too so we will probably end up in de car together again (I hope). I think he likes me but I know he is too shy or insecure to ever tell me that in my face or make a move. If it is a quiet night and we have the time: should I make the first move ans kiss the guy, hoping that he feels the same way?? Cause I really want to kiss him :-)
Or ask him out, outside of work? Or just leave it as it is and see if he makes a move sometime? Although I think I can wait forever than.

- Jess
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#2
Ask him out!
Kissing him at work sounds super awkward, but that could just be me.
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#3
Kiss him Jess! Haha! Sounds like you both like each other and he is doing everything but directly asking you out, think if he's shy, he might not ask you out so it's going to be down to you. Don't think you'll be disappointed! Good luck :-)
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#4
Cuddly Wrote:Ask him out!
Kissing him at work sounds super awkward, but that could just be me.

I understand! But if you are driving a car all night without getting any emergencies, just the two of us, in the dark.... Well...
although kissing while driving would be a bad idea! 😉
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#5
Jess Wrote:I understand! But if you are driving a car all night without getting any emergencies, just the two of us, in the dark.... Well...
although kissing while driving would be a bad idea! 😉

Yeah pull over! And whilst on safety clunk click every trip!
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#6
Don't get to know him a little better, get to know him WELL.

I'd build up a good friendship with him first for at least another couple of months. I know the urge is to 'just go for it!' and sure, if this was a guy you'd met outside of work I'd be all for recommending you just go for it. But having twice dated guys I've worked with in the past, you MUST take care to ensure you build good foundations and take things slowly. I am happy you get on well but you just have to be careful with someone you work with. And if it ends, just be aware it can be even more stressful/awkward/painful if you have to continue working with this person. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, I genuinely really hope it goes well for you both and turns out well.
Gossip is the Devil’s telephone; best just to hang up.
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#7
IanSaysHi Wrote:Don't get to know him a little better, get to know him WELL.

I'd build up a good friendship with him first for at least another couple of months. I know the urge is to 'just go for it!' and sure, if this was a guy you'd met outside of work I'd be all for recommending you just go for it. But having twice dated guys I've worked with in the past, you MUST take care to ensure you build good foundations and take things slowly. I am happy you get on well but you just have to be careful with someone you work with. And if it ends, just be aware it can be even more stressful/awkward/painful if you have to continue working with this person. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, I genuinely really hope it goes well for you both and turns out well.

You are a wise man though Debbie Downer! Haha! ;-) think I'd be thinking with the little head in that situation!
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#8
Hi Jess

I'm a shy person, so I think my thought would be effective (I hope so). if he really likes you, he wants to kiss and you drive him crazy Big Grin.

But the thing is that shy people may not feel comfortable with a direct kiss. I'm even suspicious about kissing on the cheeks. if you ask him out and kiss him on the cheek before he leaves, that'd be sooo romantic Smile and maybe it's just me but I would think that way; if someone kisses me on the cheek, he looks for something serious. and if someone kissed me on the lips, I would be suspicious which one you look for.

This is a thought by a virgin Big Grin
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#9
I am actually getting nervous right now for work, haha. Never had that before! Normally he makes sure we partner up together when we both have to work. Tonight I will try to make that happen. Maybe that will let him know I kind off like him a lot :-)

And although I am not insecure or shy at all, I find it a little difficult to tell somebody in the face that I like that person. A kiss would be easier for me.

Gonna hop in the shower and getting ready for work after that!! Aaah!!
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#10
Jess Wrote:I am actually getting nervous right now for work, haha. Never had that before! Normally he makes sure we partner up together when we both have to work. Tonight I will try to make that happen. Maybe that will let him know I kind off like him a lot :-)

And although I am not insecure or shy at all, I find it a little difficult to tell somebody in the face that I like that person. A kiss would be easier for me.

Gonna hop in the shower and getting ready for work after that!! Aaah!!

Haha, that's a nice feeling Smile). I wish he could read your messages here Smile. Then give it a try. if it's on the lips, would it be too early? I dont want to interrupt and break the flow of your ideas. On the other hand, kissing on the cheeks makes your aim quite clear and makes him feel more comfortable. Also gives a message like ''You're not just a guy''.

if he's vrigin, he could have same feelings with me. but cultural difference should be considered. In your country, things may work different.
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