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Looking but no find insight
#11
Matt your a awesome guy and you will find the right person . From what little we have talked i know your a strong person and the depressed moods wont last. If you ever need to talk im here for you.
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#12
Hang in there Matt, and let yourself cry when you need to. It will all be ok!
[Image: 51806835273_f5b3daba19_t.jpg]  <<< It's mine!
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#13
No biggie bro, plenty of guys here in dfdub.
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#14
You're in mourning for your previous relationship. It's completely normal, and to be expected. A breakup after a period of time like that is a traumatic experience, and you need time to work things out in your head, and adjust to single life again. I think it's important for your well being that you don't immediately look for a rebound. Give yourself the time and space to heal. If you just go on a post breakup hook-up spree, all you're doing is burying those feelings with shallow, meaningless sex and reaffirmation. Be good to yourself, and you'll get through this!
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#15
If you keep looking and don't give up you'll find someone eventually. Just make friends with the possibility that it may take some time and effort. In the the mean time, feel your feelings - and let yourself cry if you have to - it's a good release of grief and sadness.
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#16
@ Axanderb - You were spot on this your advice! I'm in a similar situation. After a 2.5 year relationship with someone I made my whole world, it was suddenly over and I'm left to 'pick up the pieces'. It's difficult at times, but getting better. Dating is difficult (for me) being oriented to monogamous relationships. Are you in Garden City NY? If so - I'm on Long Island also ;-)
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#17
I wish i lived in newyork. I'm in michigan Sad
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#18
Axanderb Wrote:I was in a year and a half relationship with someone who fell out of love with me when I had made them my world.
Why did he fall out of love? Was it because of incompatibility? Was it financial situation? Career move? Was he a sexual addict? Lack of common interests? Not in the same intellectual plane? Drug and alcohol issues? Did he want more glamour in his life?
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#19
i think it was a mixture of all of those things Minus the sex addiction and drug/alchohol issues.

He wanted me to jump onto all of these things that he wanted, a House, an expensive car, moving in with him...and he was asking me if I ever thought we would get married.

Some people i've talked to say i might have had commitment issues but i disagree...i was emotionally and physically committed to him...but i wasn't ready to own a house, I didn't feel like he was in a stable enough situation to have a carnote, and I was only 22 at the time....i wasn't ready for marriage now or in the near future.

I tried to explain to him that these were all things i could see myself having with him in the future...but i need to obtain my career goals first.

We stopped having sex after a year.
I felt like he was replacing me with material objects...his new townhouse and Expensive car were more important than me. And everytime he would complain about not having money for this or not being able to afford that we would get into an argument. Champagne taste on a beer budget.

But i was willing to work on things...i kept bringing up to him that we needed to have a serious discussion about what our plans were together and what we wanted from eachother. And on the night that we were supposed to have said discussion...he told me that He just didn't feel it anymore...that it wasn't going to get any better than it was at the time.

I honestly still have some pretty deep seated feelings for him...and i have to work with him, his new boyfriend, and his sister....so. Yeah that's fun lol.
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#20
No? He is going to be working with you, giddy in love with your new boyfriend. No but it sucks that you're forced to see him. Love is there for everybody. I think everybody with a partner would tell you it was a random coincidence of both parts being in the right place at the right time.
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