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More troubles with my mother
#1
So apparently my mother has been seeing this therapist ever since I came out. Mind you, if that's what helps her cope, then whatever! But tonight I find out that this so called "therapist" thinks that I may have been raped or molested either as a child or teenager and that's why I'm gay!

That really pisses me off. First of all, if I had been raped or molested as a child or teenager would it not stand to reason that if it was man that did it I would be completely turned off by the thought of having sex with a guy? And secondly, where does this quack get off diagnosing me. I don't know this person from the Pope and they sure as hell don't know me! What gives them the right?

Also I found out today that my mom posted about my birthday on Facebook yesterday and said that she wish she could go back and figure out what went wrong and that I'm not the son she
raised! And people wonder why I drink! Sheesh!!!
#2
Bighug

When will people get over that myth? And even if it did, compared to the issues it DOES create for the survivors, orientation is minor.

I could tell her what went wrong - she tried to stuff you in a box that simply didn't fit and, it's her choice to react badly to you crawling out of that box that went wrong. Not you that went wrong.

Doesn't take a degree to know it's how others react to us being gay that is the problem. They choose to react that way. Maybe if they'd slow down and drop their misconception for a while, they'd see we are just as good, just as "cool" as anyone else, more so in a lot of ways. At least we know better than to try to shove people into pre made boxes that they don't belong in.
#3
archubbycub sorry for this BS... this is a hard post to read. Ignorance. Pure ignorance.

On the other hand, if "people wonder why" you drink does that mean it's a problem for you or them? Drinking is one thing...drinking to cope with pain is another. I hope you'll be cool and know people care no matter what. The picture your post paints pisses me off too. Hope mom wakes up!! And fuck that therapist, he's a danger to society and snake oil after your mom's money!

I'd almost like to find out who the therapist is and confront them myself to help save the world!
Heart  Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!  Heart
#4
Thanks for the love guys. And Rox, don't worry, I really don't have a drinking problem. I only drink socially and that only every once in a while. That statement about people wondering about it is something my dad use to say when he got frustrated about something. Honest!
#5
archubbycub Wrote:Thanks for the love guys. And Rox, don't worry, I really don't have a drinking problem. I only drink socially and that only every once in a while. That statement about people wondering about it is something my dad use to say when he got frustrated about something. Honest!

Cool...
Reminds me of my crazy fun dad who is ALL THE TIME saying "Worries me sick. And you wanna know why I smoke cigarettes!" in response to most everything that is even remotely a whine or complaint said in his presence.
Heart  Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!  Heart
#6
As far as my mom goes, I don't think she'll ever change. She's so brain washed by her "religion" that she can't see the forest for the trees.
#7
archubbycub Wrote:As far as my mom goes, I don't think she'll ever change. She's so brain washed by her "religion" that she can't see the forest for the trees.

Well that very religion may be your key to improving your connection with her in the future. Maybe. If she really and truly believes her religion then it can't be all death to the queers and intolerance...even if she's afraid you'll burn in hell! Respect her even if she does not respect you and let her learn from what she sees her God do through you! You don't even have to be a believer for her God to teach her a thing or two through your example. I know this is so much easier said than done, but the attitude it takes to pull the suggestion off over time will most likely serve you well! Xyxthumbs
Heart  Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!  Heart
#8
Bighug
That therapist is breaking all the rules.
A complete moron.

I am so sorry you have to put up with that,you were born gay end of story.
#9
Two things:

One, that therapist is both ignorant and/or unprofessional (I'll leave out the "ignorance" only if it's instead him catering to your mother's ignorance by telling her whatever she wants to hear so she keeps paying hundreds of dollars a month for validation, and offhand I can't tell which is worse, genuine incompetence or mercenary catering to someone's homophobia instead of trying to help her become able to cope with it, and hopefully a better person in the process).

Two, your mother really needs 3 words stat: "Get over it." Oh, and it might not hurt to remind her of the Golden Rule, not judging others, and her own flaws ("the beam in her eye than the splinter in her neighbor's"), which you can find in Matthew 7 if you feel so inclined.

And btw, on the off chance she's divorced for any other reason than her committing adultery (MAYBE her husband being the adulterer, but taken at face value Jesus said the woman and not the man) and then remarried then she's an adulterer and living in sin as much as anyone gay and God looks at her just as he would any lesbian or gay man (see Matthew 5:32 and there are other verses that repeat that).
#10
Again everyone, thanks for the love. I really do appreciate it. I did text my mom earlier and told her I was very upset over the things I had found out today. Her response was that she still loved me, gay or not, but that I wasn't raised to treat people the way I'm treating them, whatever that means. I have yet to respond back but I want to tell her I'm simply doing what I have to do to protect myself physically and emotionally. Lord knows very few others in my life right now are going to.


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