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Need advice: Follow my head or heart?
#21
RobertFriendly Wrote:My brain says: stick with Mark. You know exactly what kind of a partner he is. Your business depends on you being together. You grew up together and share the same friends. Your family adores him. I'm just not sure if I'm still IN love with him.

My heart says: go with Rene and take a chance. I've never felt anything like my connection for Rene. As a lifelong atheist, my feelings for him are the closest I've ever come to "spiritual" - the deepest I've ever felt for another human being. I have no idea if we would be compatible partners or not but I love him.

Do I follow my heart or brain? Help!

18 years ago I jumped from one relationship to another. It was not good. The relationship I was in stopped evolving. The new person told me he was addicted to sex with me. I loved hearing that. I was falling head-over-heels with the new found attention. Someone was into being with me. It lasted 3 months and I was a mess during it and for a while after. No, I didn't not want to go back to my original partner after. At that point I needed time alone to heal from TWO relationships.

I'll say the following based on my own experiences:

If a relationship is to end, it would be better to end because it does not meet your needs/desires. I wouldn't recommend jumping to something else - you will just bring baggage. When I say baggage I'm not just referring to "issues" but everything you've developed/felt/believed with your current partner. You think you won't because its covered over by a fog of "new" and "exciting" but eventually the fog will clear and you will face the reality. Often this has nothing to do with the new person and everything to do with you.

Be careful about the label "love." Its one of the most misused labels we have along with "friendship." So often when a situation like this happens we think its love but its not.

Relationships evolve. Passions reduce, but they are replaced by other things like a deeper love and understanding.

A couple of weeks ago I saw an interesting thought posted on the Internet - "Don't always believe what you think."

I don't think what you are facing is easy and I wish you the best in whatever you decide.
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