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Never! No Chance!
#11
Tjemka88 Why would I be spending my life in lies, when I'm always truthful with myself? Why am I pretending to be someone I'm not, when I, as a totally aware Being, am not constructed exclusively from my sexuality, anyway? Also, I cannot be pretending to be somebody that I'm not, or I wouldn't have then told the truth about it, here! I'm a human being who HAS a sexuality and it is just another facet of my character, and one that I have the right to keep unannounced. I feel no self-harm in keeping to myself any aspect of my character. If a friend of mine, in all the years he has known me, doesn't announce to me that he is straight, is he spending his life in lies, or just not announcing to me that he is straight. Do gay/bi/curious people have a duty to announce that they're gay/bi/curious?...should they feel obliged to broadcast their sexuality, if straight people feel no such requirement? Choosing to keep one of my personal characteristics under wraps does not make me a liar...it makes me a man with a choice! Smile

Cridders88 I believe that all people are equally straight and hetero, all their lives. The behaviour and internal labels depends on their environment, their experiences, their feelings and their formulated personalities. If I ask a guy and he says he's gay, his answer is based on what he knows. If I ask a guy and he says he's straight, his answer is based on what he knows. If you ask me if I'm gay or straight, all that this guy knows is that he has no idea!

BHP91126 I've had no partners for 30+ years, and I feel no need to have any...life's less complicated, this way - but, there are facets of relationships that I am depriving myself of, I know. However...I'll not worry, I'll be happy! Smile (I thought you were breaking into song with, "Don't worry, be happy!")

Thanks for the replies, folks...you're kinda fun, here! Smile
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#12
Also just because you don't tell, doesn't mean people around you don't make their own conclusions. Don't think they're dumb. I'm not sure how old you are. If you're young, then it's not that noticeable yet and you might pull it off. But if you're 40+ and you're not married and nobody has ever seen you with a partner of the opposite gender, then your family and friends most likely do understand and know that there's a reason behind it.
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#13
(03-11-2022, 05:52 PM)Tjemka88 Wrote: Also just because you don't tell, doesn't mean people around you don't make their own conclusions. Don't think they're dumb. I'm not sure how old you are. If you're young, then it's not that noticeable yet and you might pull it off. But if you're 40+ and you're not married and nobody has ever seen you with a partner of the opposite gender, then your family and friends most likely do understand and know that there's a reason behind it.

I'm in my sixties. 
People are free to make their own judgements, about me, or in spite of me. 
I recognise no obligation to tell anybody about it and there is a degree of confusion, in me, about it, anyway.
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#14
(03-11-2022, 05:52 PM)Tjemka88 Wrote: Also just because you don't tell, doesn't mean people around you don't make their own conclusions. Don't think they're dumb. I'm not sure how old you are. If you're young, then it's not that noticeable yet and you might pull it off. But if you're 40+ and you're not married and nobody has ever seen you with a partner of the opposite gender, then your family and friends most likely do understand and know that there's a reason behind it.

This is so true. I never said the words I'm gay to anyone until I was close to 50. I can't remember anyone being surprised. As you said when you've never been married and, in my case, have not dated a woman in 25 years(back when I was trying to convince myself I could be straight)it doesn't leave much to the imagination.
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#15
Don't worry about it.

I told people I was gay and at the beginning 3/4 of them didn't believe me - some still don't and I have been with my husband for 34 years. 

I have asked some of the people over the years why they think that - they can't "put their finger on it" is the consensus.

I haven't told anyone I was gay for years now - I just introduce them to "my husband" and don't really wait for or care if they have a reaction or not. I "assume" if they know I have a husband they can connect the dots Big Grin
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