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Online Boyfriend
#1
Okay so there's this guy I like and I met him online... And I really like him. He's 11 and I'm 13. I love everything about him.. But I did something really stupid. I cheated on him. And he got mad and begged for him to forgive me... And he did, thank God. But.. I did it again and he was okay with it... I told him we should have an open relationship and he said okay. But... Now I really wanna be monogamous with him so we can meet when he turns 18... and I don't know what to say to him... He's the most amazing guy I've met online... BTW He lives in Louisiana and I live in Florida if that helps... Please help? I've only told my parents and my best friend... I'm not out to anybody else... A kid was gay at my school last year and they beat him up so he switched schools... I'm afraid to come out. Advice on that would also be appreciated. Thanks in advance.
#2
Eleven and thirteen??!! You sound awfully weighed down with relationship woes. Can't you just talk about skateboarding, computer games or your favourite music or sports?

By the way, how do you "cheat" on someone you've never met?
#3
I'm with Marsh
Go watch cartoons, eat some sugary cereal, play some Nintendo and stop trying to growing so damn fast.
#4
dude, I don't even know where to start on this...

you're 13? and he's 11? I don't think I had a clue at that age, see above comments ^... I'm guessing by 'cheating' you're talking about online cyber/roleplay type stuff, flirting... if not I'm sorta wary to even get involved in this.

And here's where I'm gonna bust the dream balloon - you're gonna wait 5 years for him? dude, I'm sorry but it's really not going to happen. You'll grow up, wise up, meet someone closer to you, fool around (at an appropriate age I hope) and you'll both end up mad at each other. Don't make promises you can't keep, basically. I think it's kinda sweet that you're that fond of him but this is all kinds of crazy.

You're afraid to come out? this I can believe; but really you're doing it way too early... It's hard not to patronise right now *sighs* I think I'm gonna have to bow down and say "step away from the chat rooms."

enjoy your youth dude, you've got years of emotional turmoil and bullshit just like this ahead of you, be glad for the years when you can be without.
#5
I don't know either of you, but I highly doubt you'll have the patience to wait 7 years to meet this guy, and I'd wager he won't either. By the time you're 20 you'll have had so much more growth and experience and maturing done you two may be at very different places mentally than yourselves now and than each other. Don't take relationships so seriously so young, especially an online one.

I can understand the fear of coming out. But by the time you've reached the age where the stupid children of your class have grown up some and gained some capacity for critical thought (that one's a big IF though), you may have found someone IRL that's to your liking, maybe even several different people. By the time you're out of high school you realize that the world outside is a lot bigger and a lot different than the one in school halls. Sexuality can be fluid too; when you grow, you may find you're not necessary definitely only gay, but maybe you are; the outcome doesn't matter. The point is at 11-13 it seems too early to settling into one idea of who you are and who you want to be with, especially when it involves relationship problems.
#6
Miles Prower Wrote:I don't know either of you, but I highly doubt you'll have the patience to wait 7 years to meet this guy, and I'd wager he won't either. By the time you're 20 you'll have had so much more growth and experience and maturing done you two may be at very different places mentally than yourselves now and than each other. Don't take relationships so seriously so young, especially an online one.

I can understand the fear of coming out. But by the time you've reached the age where the stupid children of your class have grown up some and gained some capacity for critical thought (that one's a big IF though), you may have found someone IRL that's to your liking, maybe even several different people. By the time you're out of high school you realize that the world outside is a lot bigger and a lot different than the one in school halls. Sexuality can be fluid too; when you grow, you may find you're not necessary definitely only gay, but maybe you are; the outcome doesn't matter. The point is at 11-13 it seems too early to settling into one idea of who you are and who you want to be with, especially when it involves relationship problems.


Much more well-phrased than my answer, cheers Miles
#7
WHY ON EARTH are you so hard on the guy? We've all been there, thinkin first love will last forever..

Dude, just keep it cool, okay? Talk to him about the open or monogamous relationship thing. If he wants to keep it open, give him some freedom. You can keep it monogamous on your side Tongue

Then, it's an online relationship, so it's kind of complicated. And it may not last that long, ya know? :/ Sure it is absolutely possible that it will, but the teenage years are all about changing and you both may change and turn to something else. Just keep it in mind.
BUT it'd be absolutely AWESOME if you last till you're both 18.! :]]

About coming out, don't sweat it. You still have some time. People are becoming more and more open-minded. In a couple of years wou will probably be able to come out safely, have friends to rely on and know you can protect yourself if it comes to physical conflict.
Just don't worry. Have some of mine home-made pizza!
PENNYWISE LIVES
#8
Some of these^^^ replies are pretty jerky guys... anyway I'm going to say something similar to what the others have said but maybe just tone it down a bit. First of all, if you've never met the guy you can't cheat on him... to be honest, you can't even be sure that he is who he says and you should be careful not to let yourself get carried away because you never really know who it is that you're talking to online.

Also, as much as you probably hate to hear it you are seriously really, really young. I won't go as far as telling you to go "eat some sugary cereal" but just try not to worry about this stuff so much. There are so many straight people who don't start dating until later and even more gay people who don't come to terms with being gay until much, much later so you have loads of time.

Keep in mind that this person is 11 years old.... if you're honest with yourself do you really think that this online relationship is going to last? People go through a lot of changes as they grow up... maybe its best to just try to be friends.

Good luck!
#9
ottawaguy04 Wrote:Some of these^^^ replies are pretty jerky guys... anyway I'm going to say something similar to what the others have said but maybe just tone it down a bit. First of all, if you've never met the guy you can't cheat on him... to be honest, you can't even be sure that he is who he says and you should be careful not to let yourself get carried away because you never really know who it is that you're talking to online.

Also, as much as you probably hate to hear it you are seriously really, really young. I won't go as far as telling you to go "eat some sugary cereal" but just try not to worry about this stuff so much. There are so many straight people who don't start dating until later and even more gay people who don't come to terms with being gay until much, much later so you have loads of time.

Keep in mind that this person is 11 years old.... if you're honest with yourself do you really think that this online relationship is going to last? People go through a lot of changes as they grow up... maybe its best to just try to be friends.

Good luck!

Now that's better! Big Grin Pizza?
PENNYWISE LIVES
#10
Pizza always works


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