Scared of anal

[TomStatic]

Hmm maybe smoke some weeed before having sex might relax you alot and take ur mind of the pain feeling , the first few times i had sex , i always was pretty high and it felt amazing , this may not be your sort of thing to do but its my opion as i was not scared of it at first just abit un sure

[Mitch]

Its same with me, it hurts so much after I have had anal with my bf, but I get so horny I don't even care during the process, but it hurts when I go and have a shower, that is because, well... I can't find a good lubricant here, I live in Pakistan, so I can't have butt plugs, even if I have those, which I would love to, I can't hide them away since I am in the closet, and not going to come out, not atleast any sooner, so the best suggestion I can provide you is, if anal sex turns you on, its your thing, if it doesn't its not your thing, you could ask your bf to do something else.

ps: watching porn movies together really helps sometimes, because I am assuming your bf doesn't watch much porn movies, because there is alot of fondling in them and different ways that can be really productive in your sex life

BUT also be WARNED that there are porn movies that take things to extreme, just use ur common sense and don't go to extreme, also, I will prohibit you from rimming as its really unhealthy, those porn stars, they get cleaned good before doing everything, but us I don't guess so.

I was trying to try it, but looking at my bf's cute bubbly and hairy butt, I started hating it. lol

[Counselor]

debbie downer says; "i assume you trust him with your life, both of you get tested and stuff"

ask if he will bottom for you?

While your in the shower ( soap free ) insert one/two fingers.
Get some toys for your self:

f***ing lol

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Technically the human anus is not really designed to accept a penis sliding in and out of it. By design its pretty much meant to hold things in until you push things out. Its an evacuation canal.

However owing to the flexibility of the materials it is composed of, that muscle can give a bit and that the anus connected to the colon is all pretty much soft tissues that are flexible and to a degree stretchable, one can manage to insert rather large objects, penises, fists, traffic cones....

Key to accepting minor and major objects is relaxation and initial bearing down in order to cause the sphincter and anus to 'pucker' outward. Over time and lots of lube and slow movement one can eventually stretch out the anus to take most anything you can think of and most likely even things you can't think of (but someone, somewhere most likely has a video of that).

Some guys (and I assume gals) are able to accept a lot of 'stuff' going in. I'm uncertain if this is a design flaw or a design advantage. I guess it depends on who you talk to. On the other hand there are people who are just not able to accept anything. And no amount of coaxing or patient experimentation leads to their being able to take it.

Perhaps these are just qualities of a tight ass?



This illustration gives a good idea of the canals, the bit just above the external anal sphincter (the rectum) is about 4-6 inches in length in the typical human adult male. If your BF is of greater than average length (Average being something on the order of 6.25 inches) it is possible that he can readily 'bottom out' hitting the back (upper) wall where the rectum gives way to the Sigmoid Colon.

Now I'm sure you have seen images of guys taking a fist and the forearm all the way up to the elbow (if not I strongly suggest you do NOT look for such on the internet). The fist and forearm are typically much, much longer than the rectum, what happens is that through patient manipulation and perhaps a bit of fairy magic, the sigmoid colon and rectum and be moved about to align and lead to a straight passage.

I point this out to you to demonstrate just how flexible the human colon is.

If your partner is impatient even with an 'average sized' penis, he can do damage and could conceivably hit bottom especially if you are more compact in the guts area, thus having a shorter rectum.

The diameter of the rectum ranges between 1 to 1.75 inches, being more commonly 1.5 inches in diameter. The diameter of the average penis is roughly the same. But if your partner is endowed with a bit more than average, it is possible that if you are blessed with lower than average guts that it (his penis) is just too fat.


In the 90s lots of polls were taken about the Gay community (Straight people are fascinated by gay stuff in a creepy way) any way, the poll revealed that unlike what the porn industry of the time kept pushing as being 'average' gay sex (you know, a bit of oral leading to anal for the climatic big finish), the reality is that the majority of gay men actually don't like anal, they prefer oral. Most do anal because they thought that that is what is expected, since their education of what gays do is based primarily on what straight (usually bigots) always think about, anal sex.

It appears that many gay men really don't get into anal, most finding it 'uncomfortable' when they bottom to the point that they would rather not do it at all. And a goodly number of them go 'ew, gross - poo on a penis - ew!' just like many of the bigots who think about such things all the time always say (but hey we all know they find the idea to be fascinating, thus their preoccupation with what they think gay men do).

The point is that you do not have to do anal sex. Chances are your partner is doing it because he thinks that that is what he is supposed to do (Gay men are known for tossing salads, packing fudge and other back door activities - so it must be so).

Chances are no matter how much coaxing and techniques you try the sheer idea of having 'that huge thing' shoved up your bum may not lead to your being able to relax enough to accept it. Its ok, you don't have to do it.

you can still be gay in other ways... like oral sex.

[princealbertofb]

How much does your partner love you to give it up? Or try something else? Or be patient enough until you get comfortable with it? Does he know how uncomfortable you find it, or have you been bearing it in silence? Maybe he imagines you're having the time of your life. To me, it's strange that he doesn't realise you're suffering, and it amazes me that he's not concerned with your comfort... but some men are like that. Try talking about it, though.

[Counselor]

In the 90s lots of polls were taken about the Gay community (Straight people are fascinated by gay stuff in a creepy way) any way, the poll revealed that unlike what the porn industry of the time kept pushing as being 'average' gay sex (you know, a bit of oral leading to anal for the climatic big finish), the reality is that the majority of gay men actually don't like anal, they prefer oral

Very interesting, I've had some eye-opening experiences (haha) bottoming, which were something I can only describe as a "full-body arousal", like being blanketed in electric sexual energy I've never felt before.

[BobInTampa]

I'll post my answer to your primary question in a second, but can you expand on your "body issues" and "size" issues?

Because the answer to that question is - YES! Attitude is EVERYTHING when it comes to intimacy! So, if your brain is blocking you from really enjoying the intimacy with your boyfriend, no amount of lube, porn, poppers or practice will stop the pain.

What's going on?

[sillyboy86]

I'm scared too of anal!
I don't wont to put a stick in my tight hole, I hope to find a boy who teach me how to do it! ;-P

[Bricg1970]

One thing you can do is be progressive, if you start with a small butt plug and use it for 20 min in private where you can have full control of the situation and yours sensations, play with it and then when you start feeling more confortable get a bigger one. Also, the position have lots to do, if you do the cowboy one, you will have more control how much you want, the key here is not rush things, yes at the beginning may not be as good or enjoyable but with time become very satisfying and fullfilling.
Also, before having sex is good to have the butt plug it helps to relax, since you may have a tight arse, lots of lube and let him grab some lube and play with your arse, it helps to relax, you can't go to action straight away, relaxing and playing is part of the game.

[Varanus]

First thing is move at your pace, if your not completely up for it then just push it aside and go all vanilla on his junk.
Unfortunately the first few times are always going to be slightly painful, uncomfortable etc.
But stick with it and you will soon learn if you love it or hate it.
I myself gave it up out of love and at the start I didnt enjoy it so much but the idea of doing it was enjoy to push me to the edge.
Fast forward almost a year and its a pleasure ive felt like none other AMAZING!!!!
But don't pressure your self not all gay men like ass play.