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Should I fall for this guy? Need help.
#11
Sorry all, I have been tried to be used to often to show that much trust,But what about the Craigslist Ad thing? I caught him posting an ad about looking for some "fun" (you know what I mean). Should I just forget about that? That sounds like if you don't work out and help me I am looking at other options, and yes marshlander we have to protect ourselves when we are just entering a relationship, stalker I think not more over just carful, Jim
[Image: images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcRz-Six7p24KDjrx1F_V...A&usqp=CAU]
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#12
marshlander Wrote:Have you actually talked to him about any of this?

You keeping tabs on Craigslist makes you sound like a stalker and if you're not a stalker, what are you doing on there? Sorry, I don't really know what you are expecting from us.

I did, but he didn't really say anything. He just deleted it right away. Besides, I didn't want to sound that we're together coz we are not. But you know the feeling that if you both are in good terms and "going there", it is appropriate to just stick to each other, right?

I want to be as honest as possible to y'all, yes I met him on Craigslist. I posted an ad looking for friends and maybe more. He replied. Then last night, after a month since I posted my ad, I remembered to delete it. So I did, and then I found out his ads. I wasn't stalking him. I accidentally found his ads about looking for "fun" at the times that we are getting really really close.

I just want to know what is the best action to do. If I will keep seeing him and getting close to him, or stop everything? Remember, he might not stay here for good (VISA), and this Craigslist ad thing.
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#13
I wouldn't worry about the Craigslist ad because it isn't a matter of trust at this point as you have no commitment.
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#14
eastofeden Wrote:I wouldn't worry about the Craigslist ad because it isn't a matter of trust at this point as you have no commitment.

So I guess I just have to play along? Nothing serious? So just forget all the stuff he told me if he can stay here? Like everything seems to be a game?
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#15
He delete the ad because you saw it and he realized that you two have something going on and it may become very serious. Therefore, he cares. Go with him to Maui or Vegas and be happy. Stop worrying about whether he's going to stay. And forget about the Craiglist ad. Enjoy your time together and don't forget he's a nice and sweet guy cuz that's what's going to happen if you keep trying to find a way to prove you shouldn't be with him.
Oh, and considering everything a game...I don't really think it's a good attitude.
Good luck! :]
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#16
SlipknotRlZZ Wrote:He delete the ad because you saw it and he realized that you two have something going on and it may become very serious. Therefore, he cares. Go with him to Maui or Vegas and be happy. Stop worrying about whether he's going to stay. And forget about the Craiglist ad. Enjoy your time together and don't forget he's a nice and sweet guy cuz that's what's going to happen if you keep trying to find a way to prove you shouldn't be with him.
Oh, and considering everything a game...I don't really think it's a good attitude.
Good luck! :]

I just tried calling him but he never answered my calls. Then I think he turned his phone off. As much as I want to be with him and talk to him in every single way, I don't want the feeling of being neglected nor avoided. He is (or should I say was) a nice and sweet guy. But these past few days, he's kind of changed, cold? Maybe I'm not gonna expect no more. Because the more I expect, the more I get hurt if things don't go with my expectations.

60% of me tells that I should stop this. I would rather be single than be with the wrong guy. I've already loved before, and every relationship I had, it all ended up to be a sad story. Singlehood is nice right?

I still don't know what to do, but whatever happens, I don't have any choice but to accept it.
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#17
Well, that changes the situation. Then maybe you really should expect no more. Maybe you should let him call you and want to be with you. Main things still is for you to be happy. I mean, really. You should always go for what will make you happy, no matter of the risks.
If he still calls you and is nice and sweet, then again, go for it.
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#18
SlipknotRlZZ Wrote:Well, that changes the situation. Then maybe you really should expect no more. Maybe you should let him call you and want to be with you. Main things still is for you to be happy. I mean, really. You should always go for what will make you happy, no matter of the risks.
If he still calls you and is nice and sweet, then again, go for it.

Thank you slipknot for the reply. I think I'm not gonna expect his calls anymore. I want to be happy but I won't be if I'll always check my phone. He made me happy, I am not now. If he calls me, is it better if I confront him about what he really thinks about "us"? or don't even go there? But I doubt if he calls me. Mostly I call him that's why...
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#19
the thing is you say you and he are not together, so if another friend of yours posted on CL it wouldnt be an issue. Or do I have that wrong, are you two in the early stages of a relationship?

Maybe look at it from his point of view, maybe he doesnt know if you want to be with him etc, and so he keeps his options open and decides to still enjoy life rather than wait and feel let down when nothing happens.

Have a chat with him, tell him where you want things to go, what your expectations are and find out what his are. Once all this is known by both of you then you can both decide where to go next.
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#20
juk Wrote:the thing is you say you and he are not together, so if another friend of yours posted on CL it wouldnt be an issue. Or do I have that wrong, are you two in the early stages of a relationship?

Maybe look at it from his point of view, maybe he doesnt know if you want to be with him etc, and so he keeps his options open and decides to still enjoy life rather than wait and feel let down when nothing happens.

Have a chat with him, tell him where you want things to go, what your expectations are and find out what his are. Once all this is known by both of you then you can both decide where to go next.

We are (were) getting there. He has a plan that if he stays here for good, meaning when he settles his papers to stay here, we would be together. Of course, he knows that I want to be with him. I am the one who doesn't know if he wants to be with me. Yeah he said that he likes me, but not consistent, that is why I'm confused.

Maybe that is a good idea, the next time we meet, I'll ask about it. I just don't want to keep guessing and guessing.

By the way, I talked to him earlier and he said he was out but didn't tell where he went. He said he left his phone thats why he couldn't answer my calls. Don't you think there's something fishy there? Of course the first thing that came to my mind was, he met someone and had fun with him. (Remember the CL ad?) I don't know. The last thing I'm gonna do now is to talk to him what he really thinks about us (if there's any). Like once & for all, I want to know the truth. What do you think?
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