Sorry I don't know how the multi-quote works so I did this manually.
MikeW Wrote:I think it is a good thing to seek out a support group when you're dealing with potentially heavy stuff like this. Listen to edhued, BTW, he is studying nursing. I know there is at least one medical Dr. on the forum as well, maybe more.
The main thing is you have to get tested -- you know that. The hard part is until you get a final test after 3 months, you're kind of in 'limbo'⦠not knowing. That's always difficult because our minds tend to take us places, imagining the worst. The thing to keep in mind is that these days being + is *not* a death sentence. It *is* a big deal, in the sense that you have to make life changes to deal with it. BUT⦠the thing is, we're getting a bit ahead of ourselves, aren't we? You don't *know* your HIV status ATM. You only know you've been exposed.
So, my advice, take your life one step at a time.
BTW, it totally sucks that you got exposed after being celibate for a long time ⦠We all *know* better⦠unfortunately we don't always do what we know is best for ourselves.
Thank you. And you are right I don't *know* my status atm and I may be getting ahead of myself. I guess this is just my way of conditioning myself in case I do get bad news. If it turns out that I'm negative, which I hope it does, I will still keep this moment etched in my mind so I will be more careful in the future.
The reason I'm seeking for people to talk to here is because I have no one else to talk to. No partner, no friends that I would want to disclose this to, and I'm not exactly close with my family. In that area I feel alone, which is why I'm surprised I'm not more nervous given the circumstance, just concerned. So I'm glad you guys are giving me the time.
Also YES, it does suck that the second I broke my years-long celibacy, I end up exposing myself. The odds were definitely NOT in my favor.
Borg69 Wrote:I'm not judging YOU, OP, but I would like to emphasize your story to remind everyone out there to ALWAYS wear protection. It doesn't matter how well you think you know someone.
Oh that's totally fine because I completely agree with you, at least now that I'm in this predicament. Better judgment first, lust later, guys!
edhued Wrote:It might be early for me to say, but don't let regret eat you up. I know we all regret stuff that we did in the past (either small or big), but we don't have control of the past, so just accept it. To me it sounds that you're not thinking negative about it (if you end up positive), which is good, because a lot of people will think that it's the end of the world and they don't care about living anymore.
I can't think negative about it because I don't know how to. I don't think it's in my nature. If I learn I'm positive, that means I will already be AWARE that there's something in me that could kill me soon if I just leave it be. No way I'm going to allow that, because while I'm not very close with my family, I still love them, and it would be really selfish of me to just give up even though I know there's something that can be done. This was MY own stupid mistake. After years of conscious celibacy at that. I have the choice to address it, or let it get the best of me.
The messages from you guys are also helping me manage the news.
Wow...I am so sorry about the circumstances in particular. Waiting for so long and then when it happens...this.
I do want to say one thing though and this is NOT an endorsement nor am I advocating unprotected sex...
Was the sex over a period of time?...or just once?
The reason I ask...I was having unprotected sex when AIDS first appeared and everyone around me was dying...and I had sex with some of them...unprotected.....
I never got the virus. I am HIV- and have always been HIV-....
...so my point...exposure to someone with the virus does not necessarily mean you will get it yourself.
I spent ALOT OF MY TIME sure that at any moment it would happen to me and I was preparing to die....or at least brace myself for the inevitable the bad news It never happened. I know many other people personally with my same circumstances.
DO get tested..but it isn't automatic that you got it.
East Wrote:Wow...I am so sorry about the circumstances in particular. Waiting for so long and then when it happens...this.
I do want to say one thing though and this is NOT an endorsement nor am I advocating unprotected sex...
Was the sex over a period of time?...or just once?
The reason I ask...I was having unprotected sex when AIDS first appeared and everyone around me was dying...and I had sex with some of them...unprotected.....
I never got the virus. I am HIV- and have always been HIV-....
...so my point...exposure to someone with the virus does not necessarily mean you will get it yourself.
I spent ALOT OF MY TIME sure that at any moment it would happen to me and I was preparing to die....or at least brace myself for the inevitable the bad news It never happened. I know many other people personally with my same circumstances.
DO get tested..but it isn't automatic that you got it.
We hung out for a few days. Had penetrative sex twice. One time I was the bottom, the other time I was the top (I was using a condom but it broke and stupidly went ahead with the deed anyway). There was mutual masturbation and oral at other times during those days we were together, and I swallowed twice I think. His ejaculate came out clean though when I went to the loo, so there's still a tiny bit of hope for me I guess.
Honestly, the reason I was so comfortable was I was actually waiting for him to start an actual relationship with. I thought he was on the same page from our talks. I was honest with him about the fact that I'd been celibate, but he was dishonest with me. I did know he wasn't celibate, but he said his activities were always safe. Then I found out after we slept together that he was emotionally invested in this new guy that he met a couple months back. There goes that. Then when he tested positive, it was only then when he came clean to me about the fact that he wasn't exactly safe during the "activities" he mentioned prior.
Anyway, I do know that it's not a guarantee you'll get infected once you get exposed. But considering my luck (celibate for years and the one guy I choose to do it with ends up being positive), I don't even know. I wanna type "lol" but I don't want to make light of the situation. I just think it's a little funny, like I'm being teased by the powers that be.
Anonymous Wrote:If I end up being positive, obviously it'll mean I'll have to make a lot of changes with my life. i will probably roughly plan out how I'm gonna live the rest of it so I can do the things that would give my life more meaning especially with my family, instead of, say, wasting my time on too many wants.
It just sucks that I made a mistake that can't be undone. I was conscious of it, too! I was thinking, "what if he has an STD?" But I went ahead with it anyway. i let the 'moment' defeat my better judgment, w/c was obviously really stupid.
Hey there,
I now have friends who have been HIV+ for 20+ years and still are doing fine. The advances in drug therapies have been astonishing since the mid-80's.
It is no longer a death sentence, nor does it mean that you need to re-write your whole life because of it...although it does require care and attention.
So even if it turns out that you are infected, early detection and early treatment is the best way to go.
Anonymous Wrote:Anyway, I do know that it's not a guarantee you'll get infected once you get exposed. But considering my luck (celibate for years and the one guy I choose to do it with ends up being positive), I don't even know. I wanna type "lol" but I don't want to make light of the situation. I just think it's a little funny, like I'm being teased by the powers that be.
I think the sense of humor might be the best tool sometimes to help cope and come to terms with it. I know all about TPTB ....fate can be cruel...or kind...
I don't think you have an automatic diagnosis of HIV+ .
Of course the math is kinda sketchy and I had a book at one time that I kept track in (for masturbation purposes) so I have a rough estimate at least 750 but definitely under 1000 men I have had unprotected sex with.
Once again...NOT A SUGGESTION OR ENDORSEMENT...it is just my actual true story...and no infection....
...alot of those guys...the bulk of them... was before AIDS...and I have had a monogamous relationship for almost 30 years now...but I had a definite window of 5 years where I definitely had sex with men who had AIDS and died....I didn't know they had it of course....and I was sure that I was next...
...and here I am.
So...keep your sense of humor...appreciate the irony...and try to relax. Get tested of course...but I would wait til you can get the definitive result in 8 weeks. During that period...abstain from unprotected sex....
I don't know if that helps at all but I do know that having sex with someone who is positive does not mean you are automatically going to be infected
East Wrote:I never got the virus. I am HIV- and have always been HIV-....
...so my point...exposure to someone with the virus does not necessarily mean you will get it yourself.
that's because the odds of contracting HIV from receptive anal intercourse are lower than 2%. you're gonna have to play the lottery many times to win at such odds. and because some people actually have a resistance to certain strains of HIV. they have a mutation in a chemokine receptor that disallows HIV virus's entry into the cell (it needs to enter the cell to survive and infect you).
i don't mean to make little of the matter here, people should practice safe sex where common sense demands it. 2% is not zero, after all.
There's seriously good and indepth information about the HIV virus and its therapies online. If you want detailed information about it, you can browse youtube or wikipedia.
Hi, I'm Cuddly and I study pharmacy. I've come across HIV many times in my studies and I'll feed you some quick things that I've kind of learned:
* HIV stands for Human-Immunodeficiency-Virus
* AIDS stands for Acquired-Immuno-Deficiency-Syndrome (means your immune system no longer works)
* because of the above, HIV/AIDS doesn't kill you, some random infection does that, because your body cannot stop it (without medication)
* HIV is a retrovirus, which means it's carrying around RNA (rather than DNA) and since the virus' mechanism requires its "content" to be incorporated into our cells' DNA, it carries around several enzymes (proteins that serve a specific function in the virus's lifecycle).
* These enzymes are obvious targets for drugs
* HIV mutates, which is why the medicines must constantly be improved upon, in order to keep up with the virus.
* Targetting more enzymes or general "steps" in the virus's lifecycle improves the therapy (as far as I remember one anti HIV therapy is called HAART)
* HIV targets white blood cells, which is basically our immune system.
* Because HIV targets these cells, HIV is transmitted through "blood" to "blood" contact. Semen has white blood cells in it and anal intercourse is prone to cause small cuts in the anus or anal canal, this is why it is primarily contracted by sharing needles or bareback bottoming.
* When medicated HIV patients can have near normal life expectancies (http://www.healthline.com/health-news/hi...ity-121813)
Here's a video I found helpful. It's pretty advanced though.
I know alot more and could do more to explain it, if you'd like that. Feel free to PM me.
Oh and also, I'm terribly sorry about this.
It might be wise to check your Health Care Insurance to make sure it will cover treatment & medications. I'd also see what kind of co-pays (if any) you may have to dish out of your own pocket. Some HIV+ people pay over $400 bucks a month for medications,, and that's with insurance coverage.
I'm hoping that you dodged the bullet this time,, and everything will be OK..
About 12 years ago I found out my then bf of 2 years was sleeping around behind my back. Needless to say I was very pissed off, and I ended the relationship and kicked him out.
I severed all contact which was quite hard, but I was so angry it was the only thing I could do.
Anyway, about 3 months later I get an email from him out of the blue asking me to call him which I did. He had just been told that he was HIV+ and that the nurse had told him to contact anyone he had been with in the preceeding 4 months.
I got told this on a Friday afternoon. Needless to say I was in full panic mode until I was able to be tested (a week later) Every scenario was played out in my head. Not a pretty site.
My point is, after a week of hell, I was tested and was negative.
My message to you is simple. Get tested as soon as you can, then start planning the rest of your life.
I wish you luck, and please, if you are up to it, let us know your result.
The HIV virus attaches to a protein on your T cells which is called cd4, some people have a different protein (DD4) which Most HIV viruses can't attach to, yes there is more than one HIV virus, the only reason I am aware of this is I am DD4, not CD4. A DNA check can tell you which you have, Jim
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