To the Atheists w/ a Religious Past : That Nostalgic Feeling

[princealbertofb]

I'm curious about the formerly religious, now atheist identifying people in this thread - do you guys think your sexuality was the catalyst in your questioning of the church / religion? Or were you already questioning it? Like if you guys were straight, do you still think you'd have ended up atheists?

I became estranged of my religious upbringing when the vicar wanted to talk to me about 'living in sin' with my girlfriend (at that time, yes) something I strongly disagreed with because I was living according to the teachings ie 'loving my neighbour' in a committed relationship. I thought his stance may have been heartfelt but it was, to me, hypocritical. I then started unpicking all the liturgy and thinking, even if the precepts of Jesus's teachings were sound, the whole church stance was about ruling and power over the masses. I didn't like its double standards. Then I became gay, so what hope was there for any of us sinners?

[Cheet0V90]

No its just gonna be one "HELL" of a party down there someday, right? I think South Park go5 it right in showing hell as one big party...
Haha

I myself got lost within all of the double standards of "Religion," and the unrealistic nature of the promises made. That is why I no longer follow any of it, and feel that it is one big load of crap personally.

I know others may not agree with me, but just so long as no one tries to force "Church" on me, I feel that we can survive even with the varying viewpoints that are out there.

[Karl Rand]

My experience of religion, or rather the Roman branch came from an early involvement with the music of the church as a pipe organ student at a Roman Catholic cathedral. Although deeply moved by the musical liturgy I was never a genuine believer from an early age seeing the Christian God as a twisted sad-masochist. My opinion hasn’t changed apart from viewing theology, and especially biblical apologetics from an agnostic point of view. Stumbling across the Bishop (still a Cardinal!) receiving blow jobs from alter boys in the vestry didn’t much disturb me.

However, the last straw happened at age 16, two weeks after easter. Each year a group of priests etc from the cathedral and from the High Anglican church on the other side of the road holidayed at the oceanside where they owned vacation houses. On the first night I coped with the sex, booze and drug consumption taking place around me. On the Sunday morning I didn’t cope with being offered the ‘privilege’ of being a naked offering on a domestic alter during a black mass. Grabbing my few possessions I snuck down to the highway and hitched back to the city. The experience traumatised me so thoroughly a never returned to organ studies.

Luckily they didn’t manage to destroy my love of the musical liturgy. To this day experiencing, for instance, Bach’s organ works and masses as the highest expression of human beauty - that is if I manage to suppress my awareness of the intended meaning of the texts.

As an agnostic I can imagine there is a creator/creators  of some kind responsible for the universe we find ouselves in. I have no idea what he/she/it/they might be.

One thing has remained with me all these decades later, an intense loathing for organised religion of every form . The overweaning arrogance of any group who imagine they speak for and on behalf of their particular God still astonishes.
"And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie” 2nd Thessalonians 2:11.

[Tjemka88]

I feel like church and faith are two completely different things. You don't have to go to church to pray and believe in God and if you're an atheist, you're going to be one under any circumstances.

[InbetweenDreams]

While I can't say I share the experience nostalgia as the OP @"Sherman8D" used to describe as I wasn't brought up in a religious household. I can certainly see how one can experience a lot of feelings about leaving their religion. I don't think my sexuality played much of a role other than I think the fact that being gay was a heated issue for Christians that it more clearly exposed the hypocrisy of it.

I guess you can say I am agnostic with a interest in Pagan traditions/paths, but I am not solely invested in anything in particular.

I do think that "church" and faith are very different things. Yes, @Tjemka88 you don't have to go anywhere in particular to worship a deity. Many Pagans for instance can setup an alter in their bedroom or out in the woods somewhere. I do sometimes get the feeling that people in many mainstream religions don't really believe or follow the teachings of their religions, rather that they interpret things the way they want and weaponize it as we keep seeing over and over. I find that when you take away their religion that people are people, that we humans tend to be hypocrites, contradicting, conflicted, ignorant and afraid of people who are unlike us. Not saying all Christians or any particular religious group are all a certain way, there are good people who follow these religions. Take people like Fred Rogers or LeVar Burton, good examples of what I would call a good Christian. They're not out on a mission, they're not out to spread hate, they're not shoving their beliefs down anyone's throat. Simply that they're trying spread good in the world. That is after all what I think anyone should try to do, regardless of what they believe, be it a God, or polytheistic or believe in a purple dinosaur in the sky...or nothing at all.

[calgor]

I was born and raised Catholic with 12 years of Catholic school, and came of age right around Stonewall. Unlike many who came around to their gay side later in life I felt I was never anything but gay. As early as I can remember I was attracted to my male friends, so my question always was why was I made this way? At that time there weren't Evangelicals making gays their favorite whipping boys, so the only references I heard to homosexuality were the occasional limp wristed impersonations or references to someone being a fairy with the occasional intrinsically disordered comment thrown in. Of course when it later came out that those same people had made a cottage industry out of shifting pedophile priests around it became more apparent what were their real priorities. At any rate my question was did God make me this way to be cursed for life or because that's just the way I was made end of story. Well I didn't think a loving God would have chosen the former so it was the latter for me. As time progressed I came to understand more and more that organized religion had really mangled the message of the Gospel and I wondered why all they seemed to talk about was sex while so many people were hungry and homeless. After all wasn't feeding the hungry and welcoming the stranger the centerpiece of the Gospel? And yea I wondered why bad things happen to good people and all the other questions that don't jive with a loving God. And I don't have any answers. But still for me I believe He's out there. Some people might say I'm still brainwashed but for me it just feels right.

[Karl Rand]

 But still for me I believe He's out there. Some people might say I'm still brainwashed but for me it just feels right.

Or as the Jesuits put it “Give us the boy until he’s 7 and we’ve got him for life”

[calgor]

 But still for me I believe He's out there. Some people might say I'm still brainwashed but for me it just feels right.

Or as the Jesuits put it “Give us the boy until he’s 7 and we’ve got him for life”

As I said, comments like this are not unexpected.

[InbetweenDreams]

@calgor I wouldn't call it brainwashing. Indoctrinated, perhaps more appropriate if anything. I think the thing to understand here is there's nothing wrong with what you or others believe--even if they don't believe in anything, so long as it doesn't infringe on others personal freedoms....things like missionary work, or converting people. Not a fan of that.

There is a subset of atheists who feel it necessary to "de-convert" people because they feel that religious faith, pick your flavor, is something comparable to the tooth fairy.

I've certainly heard plenty of people's beliefs that I think are completely nuts, but I also don't tell them they're stupid and full of shite.

[calgor]

@calgor I wouldn't call it brainwashing. Indoctrinated, perhaps more appropriate if anything. I think the thing to understand here is there's nothing wrong with what you or others believe--even if they don't believe in anything, so long as it doesn't infringe on others personal freedoms....things like missionary work, or converting people. Not a fan of that.

There is a subset of atheists who feel it necessary to "de-convert" people because they feel that religious faith, pick your flavor, is something comparable to the tooth fairy.

I've certainly heard plenty of people's beliefs that I think are completely nuts, but I also don't tell them they're stupid and full of shite.

As far as I'm concerned people are welcome to believe whatever they want. When those beliefs lead to hate and discrimination it becomes a problem for me. And yes that includes people who use religion to attack others and those who attack others purely because of their religious beliefs.