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Unlucky coming out story and what do I do now?
#11
So sorry this happened to you.
Bighug
Unfortunately your parents have just now had to face it and have been brainwashed by modern day Christianity ,give them time to adjust.

Don't feel guilty about being with your boyfriends family ,accept their love .
As for your studies please contact your counselor and see what assistance is available for you ,you may even be able to find a job on campus.

Don't give up sweetie ,you will get through this even if you have to lean on someone or now.
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#12
Well no, I definitely won't go back into the closet, I wouldn't do it even if I could. My boyfriend says I don't have to work now, but I just cannot live with his family and do nothing. All employers ask for experience, where can I get it. I've not worked previously.

I would like to have contact with my sister, just to find out her thoughts. When I tried to call her, my mother picked up her phone and told me not to call. Maybe she doesn't want gay brother, but I want to hear it from her herself.
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#13
Your sister will eventually either defy your parents on her own or reach an age where they really can't control her. She may be just as brainwashed as them, which would be terrible, but there's just as much chance that she'll eventually reach out to you. Don't give up just yet.

There are other things you can try in order to contact your sister, but I would avoid being pushy. Physical letters may get through, and social media like facebook and youtube is an even safer bet if you do want to reach her. But just make sure you put some of the power in her hands. Make it clear that you love her and miss her, and still want to have a sister, and then maybe just put the ball in her court and wait. And if you get an initial response that is unfavorable, don't let it be the end of the world. She's young and still finding her way, and she may come around in time.

There's not yet anything that can be done legally, but it is generally recognized that cutting siblings off from one another is harmful to them. What your parents are already doing in keeping you from contacting your sister is a form of abuse and I for one am furious about it. But until the balance of power changes, you must basically just out wait them.

Kudos to you for holding your ground, and for feeling a sense of responsibility. But once again, please give your future some serious thought. College is not something a young person should give up on without a fight.
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#14
This is not uncommon, so please do not feel alone that this has only happened to you.

You need to talk to your school, to let them know your funding has stopped. They can help you find and apply for other funding, if you want to stay in school.

If you feel guilty about staying there, tell them that. Tell them you want them to give you chores to do, because you feel like you are burdening them. I am sure they will understand.

It's a difficult thing having to depend on the kindness of strangers, but sometimes we do not have a choice. At least you have THEM, and you do not have to live in a shelter or on the streets!!! Be grateful they are willing to help you out.

If you keep going to school, later on when you graduate and then get a good job, you can always pay them back by sending them on an all expenses paid holiday someplace nice.

Do not do anything without talking to your boyfriend. Always get an opinion first. As for school......talk to them too, tell them you need to find funding to continue your education.
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#15
Also, if you do manage to continue going to school, make sure your parents keep you on their health insurance and if they attempt to drop you sue their lousy asses over it. It's one small way to make it clear to them that society doesn't condone the way they cut you off.

Oh, and I neglected to mention regarding your sister, consider some thinking outside the box type solutions. I'd be willing to bet there's someone connected to your lives somewhere with whom your parents' actions aren't sitting too well. You might very well be able to communicate with your sister through an intermediary, or even set up secret meetings. If I knew of a situation like this with someone in my circle I'd be doing everything in my power to subvert the parents and help the kids.
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#16
Anonymous Wrote:Well no, I definitely won't go back into the closet, I wouldn't do it even if I could. My boyfriend says I don't have to work now, but I just cannot live with his family and do nothing. All employers ask for experience, where can I get it. I've not worked previously.

I would like to have contact with my sister, just to find out her thoughts. When I tried to call her, my mother picked up her phone and told me not to call. Maybe she doesn't want gay brother, but I want to hear it from her herself.

Could you facebook message, tweet, text, or call your sister directly?Just make it something simple, like "If you would still like me in your life I will always be willing to be a part of it.".
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#17
I managed to contact my sister through the Facebook. I was so relieved and happy when I read her answer to the letter I sent her. She wrote that I'm her brother and I'll always be and she loves me too. She said that our parents forbade her to see me and talk to me, however we arranged a meeting. I thought that she might bring me some of my clothes, shoes and other my things, because I left without taking anything with me. But she told me there's almost nothing she could bring to me, because our parents threw out everything that was mine, even my photos.

So now it means that I've nothing to even wear except what I have on me right now. My boyfriend was shocked as well, he said he'll buy me everything I need. His mum is good seamstress and she started to sew something warm for me. I don't think I can accept it.
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#18
Im speechless to hear about what your parents have done. No words can express how angry I am that they would treat you in such a callous and uncaring way. That such actions still occur in the 21st Century is just unbelievable Sad

Im a parent, and Im just outraged at their actions.

Please message me direct.

ObW
X
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#19
I'm sorry to hear of your parents complete over reaction to the situation, it is truly shocking. However they have done you one favour, they've shown you their true colours and that is that they're unfit to be real parents. No loving parent would throw out a child and then dispose of everything relating to them. Forget them, as your sister has proven you still have a family member willing to love you.

You are lucky to have a new loving family with your boyfriend, embrace them and let them help you. If you want to avoid feeling like a burden make sure to help out when you can and don't take them for granted (not that I'm saying you would Wink)

Stay strong and prove your parents wrong, because the best slap in the face would be for you to prosper and to show them you are a better person than either of them could ever be!

Bighug
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#20
I'm glad you got to see your sister. I had a feeling that she might feel differently than your parents. Don't ever forget that. Even though it was done in secret, it was an act of rebellion for her to see you and she did it on your behalf. I like her already.

As for your parents, that's appalling as others have said. They're going to regret it someday. But that's not your concern. I know that the pain you're going through over this is probably not something I can easily understand, but I also know a lot about the need to pick yourself back up and build a life for yourself. It's not what you wanted, and it may seem like a small thing now, but you're free. You don't have to please anybody but yourself. It may take a long time for it to sink in just how liberating that can be if you let it. Take some time to figure out exactly what you want out of life, and then go after it.
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