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Was he being sincere when he admitted that he is bisexual
#1
I have known the guy that I have been with for a few years now and we have occasionally discussed our sexual orientation but when it came to him he wouldn't admit what his sexual orientation was for the longest time. He would never come out and just let me know. The closest he would ever come is to say that he is sexual.

The things that he would admit to is that he does find girls and guys attractive. And, so I would say then you are attracted to both girls and guys and he would say that yes he is but that he is only attracted to girls sexually not guys. He said that when it came to guys he liked to see their bodies and to compare himself to them but that was it.

However, the other day we were talking and I was telling him about how he brings up guys all the time in conversation and how he only mentioned a few girls that he actually liked. As I was talking with him he said "I am open to doing things when it comes to sex." And once he had said that he knew that I picked up on what he meant and he paused for a second and moved around and then said "I am Bisexual." I was shocked to hear him finally admit his sexual orientation as he knows what mine has been for the longest time.

This is how it happened. He said I am bisexual. And I asked him why didn't you just tell me this a long time ago? He said because it is like an alcoholic admitting that he is an alcoholic. He said that I had to come to terms with who I am. I said well I told you that I was gay from the start and he said "Yes but even you somewhat have a hard time with it." When he admitted that he was bisexual his face was red and when I would mention the word bisexual he would gulp or gasp is the best way to describe it and to me it seemed like he was being genuine and sincere.

My question is this I want to believe what he said to me but he has always said one thing and then another, but this is the first time he has ever said "I am bisexual." I talked it over with a couple friends and of course didn't tell them who it was and they don't know him at all, but when I did one friend said it sounds sincere and the other said that something doesn't sound quite right and fishy.

My question is that based upon what I have described and what he has said and how he reacted does it sound to you like he is being sincere or not? I want to believe him but he has always been hard to read and understand at times but as I say this is the first time he has ever said "I am bisexual." Some other friends have said in front of him that he is bisexual and he never stopped them or said no I am not so I want to get feedback on this.
#2
Hi, Welcome to the forums.

Maybe I can shed a little light since I identify as bi-.

I think you have to give him the benefit of the doubt if you have no other reason to doubt his sincerity.

As I look back at my youth, I can honestly say that I had an attraction to men since my college years for sure, maybe even earlier that that. But I couldn't sort it out with my feelings towards women, so I was "asexual" all through my 20s.

It was only in my 30s when I finally admitted to myself that I could swing both ways.

Now in my 40s, I'm exclusively with men.

<shrug>

You know, labels are not very useful, they're CONVENIENT, but they're too limiting to be of much help.

Just be patient with your friend, give him support and if you think he deserves it, give him the benefit of the doubt.
#3
mtimble Wrote:He said he was bisexual ... When he admitted that he was bisexual his face was red ...
My question is that based upon what I have described and what he has said and how he reacted does it sound to you like he is being sincere?
I wold believe every word he said.
[
mtimble Wrote:He said because it is like an alcoholic admitting that he is an alcoholic. He said that I had to come to terms with who he is.
He is comparing being Bi or gay as a disease (alcoholism). He is not completely out to himself or at least in a constructive way. He feels uncomfortable and his words are not reliable.
mtimble Wrote:I have known the guy that I have been with for a few years
I said well I told you that I was gay from the start
I want to believe him but he has always been hard to read and understand at times
not yet dating material.


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